Terry Swanson: All right, well, we’re going to talk about 0/100 with regard to friends. There’s a lot about the friendship relationship that is misunderstood. A lot of times it doesn’t go real well.

And honestly, a lot of times that we think we’re a good friend, maybe we’re not the best kind of friend that we should be. We’re maybe not a biblical type of friend.

So I want somebody to tell me, what is the definition of a friend? What is a friend? Okay, somebody you can talk to.

Give me another one. Is he going to answer them all? He’s going to get the A and the rest of you?

Somebody you can trust, good. Somebody that tells secrets to, okay. Yes.

Always there. Okay, good. Yes.

Must be a PK. That’s good. Somebody who cares.

Now, all of these things are true, and we could come up with a whole lot more. Here, I’ve got a few here.

Let me just read them off to you and see if you agree with this. A friend is someone for whom you’re willing to change your opinions. I just pulled that offline.

What do you think? A friend is someone for whom you are willing to change your opinions. Okay, willing to listen, but you’re saying, Quincy, not willing necessarily,

you’re my friend, so I’m going to change how I think to match what you think. Okay. Okay.

How about this one? A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

No. He’s deliberating. Hey, listen, if we’re talking pepperoni pizza, that’s one thing.

Okay, but I think we know that there’s more at stake than that. Here’s number three. A friend is one you can talk to about anything,

and they won’t judge you for it. You’re struggling with that. You’re saying, maybe I should stay discerning.

They can talk to me. They can say whatever they will. I’ll listen, like Quincy’s saying,

but I’m not going to lose my discernment because that’s a friend. So what would you say? Would you say, look, I’m your friend, but I guess I need to tell you a

thing or two. Where’d the but come from? Maybe it’s because I’m your friend.

See, we’ve lost this. These three things I read off are humanist. They’re man’s thinking.

They’re not God’s thinking. Where in the Bible would we find this? A friend is someone for whom you’re willing to change your

opinions. Give me a verse. There’s none.

All right, so we’re going to look at, you know, probably the greatest thing that corrupts us as friends and really is detrimental to our ability be the right kind of friend is the fear of man.

We’re afraid of losing a friend. We’re afraid of what they’re going, to think about us.

We’re not afraid of what God’s going to think. We’re afraid about what people think.

We’re afraid of what they’re going to say. If we say what we know we’re supposed to say, you know, I don don’t think your parents would appreciate that.

I don t think have you talked to your pastor about this? When’s the last time you said something like that?

If a friend said something that you knew, you knew it was off, you knew it wasn’t right, because you know better. When was the last time you said, now wait, well, hold on just a minute.

Did you talk to your dad about this? I’ll tell you, there’s probably a lot of things that a friend might say that you should

reply and say, you know, I don’t know that your mom would feel that way. Have you talked to dad? Come on, I’ll go with you.

Or once you talk to him tonight, I’ll ask you tomorrow what they said. Why would you say that? Why tomorrow?

Why? You want to make sure they do it. Part of your friendship

is going to be to really see them take steps that are right. You’re not going to forget about it. It was a big deal.

It was something they said. You knew it was wrong. You knew their parents would be grieved.

You know, I’ve seen situations where something finally comes to the surface, maybe something really bad.

And then the parents find out, or the pastor finds out, oh, you know, there’s so many other people

that knew about it. They shared about this. And then you think, why?

Why didn’t you come forward? Why didn’t you make sure the thing was taken care of? Well, it was my friend.

I didn’t think it was my place. I didn’t want to betray their friendship. You know what you betrayed?

You betrayed him. Because if information came to your attention, even from a good friend,

God expects you to stand with him. I’ve got three quick points here, and I’ve got to keep an eye on the time

because we’ve got classes after this one. The first point is this. A friend is one who stands for God to his friend.

A friend is one who stands for God to his friend. You know what that means? You speak truth.

Not pragmatism. If you don’t know what that means, it’s just simply what your friend wants to hear.

Not just telling them what they want to hear. or what will make you popular, make you well-liked. Let me give you an illustration of this.

Many years ago, my wife and I, I was much younger, and we were in charge of a youth group up in the state of Maine in a local church

even before I was in the pastorate there. And one of the girls in our youth group had graduated from college.

She was in our youth group for a few years, and then she graduated from college. And then she got married.

She married an unsaved guy. She knew better. Her family kind of went along with it.

We didn’t. We weren’t for the thing. We knew it was going to be problems down the road.

And sure enough, it really was. This is a young lady who would be now probably in her mid to late 40s. It’s been that long.

And she’s still married to him. And he’s still unsaved. And every so often, she’ll call us for counsel.

Even though we’ve moved away and we’re now 1,500 miles away, There’s times when she’ll pick up the phone, there’ll be a crying lady on the other end, and we know who it is.

Even before she says a word, we know who it is. And one day she called me, and we were down in Iowa, pastoring down there by this time. She called, and she was crying, and she said this.

She said, he’s gone too far. She said, I came home. I had been in town.

I came home. They’ve got three kids, I think. The kids are now teens.

And she said, my husband took my Bibles and burned them. Burned them all. And what do you say to something like that?

How do you counsel somebody like that? You know what she needs to know? She needs to know truth.

And so I told her, I said, look, that’s your husband. Though he may not do right, is he still your husband? Yes or no?

What does the Bible say? To all husbands, you know, concerning all husbands, it says to the wife, Wives, submit yourself unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.

I said when he comes home, you fix your hair, you go give him a hug, and you love on him. I know your flesh wants to be irritated. I know you want to be angry.

I know all of that. You’re going to show him the love of Christ. It’s what you’re commanded to do.

You need to show him Jesus. That’s truth. It’s not what she wanted to hear,

but frankly, she called me. She knew what she would hear. It was quiet on the other end of the phone,

and this is what she said. She said, that’s not what I’m hearing from the lady friends that I have at church.

Here’s what they’re saying. I wouldn’t put up with that. You don’t have to put up with that.

You need to leave the guy. now what’s biblical and what’s humanist christian people giving humanistic advice it’s not godly counsel it’s not scripture and it’s not going to solve anything he needs to

come to christ he’s not going to come to christ if she’s doing a humanist thing or an expedient thing. You want to make sure in your friendships that you’re giving truth.

You need to have scripture that backs up what you say. That needs to be important to you.

I want you to show you what I’m talking about here in Job chapter 2. We know the story of Job.

I don’t have time to go through it. I don’t need to.

It was Satan who was set on Job here to really defeat him and discourage him and really destroy him. And in Job chapter 2, some friends come out of the woodwork in verse 11.

Now when Job’s three friends heard all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuite, and Zophar the Namathite. For they had

made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. And if you know the story of Job, you know, what comfort were they?

Were they good comfort, these friends? Yeah, they didn’t give him godly counsel.

All right, take your Bibles now and flip to the end of Job. Go to chapter 42. And let’s just pretend that I preached the whole book, because you know it anyway.

Well, of course, through that time, all those chapters we just skipped over, They are talking back and forth, debating, he and his friends, back and forth. And they’re no real help.

They essentially say to him, it’s because of some sin in your life, obviously, that you’re going through this. And that wasn’t necessarily true. God gives trials to our lives for other reasons than sin.

But that was the counsel that they gave. And in Job 38, we’re not going to read through this, God shows up and he starts talking to Job.

And he starts asking Job questions. And in 38, 39, 40, and 41, in four chapters, God asks Job 82 questions.

82. And Job doesn’t have an answer for one of them. How do you suppose I created the earth, Job?

Where were you? And then he points to all these animals out in the animal kingdom and says,

how does this animal do this? And how does that animal do that? And how does this happen?

And how does that happen? And Job is just, I don’t know. You are obviously a

greater God than I even thought. And Job is silent. And we come to the end here in Job chapter 42.

And it says this in verse one, then Job answered the Lord and said, I know that thou canst do everything and that no thought can be withholding from thee. Who is he that hides counsel without

knowledge? Therefore, have I uttered that I understood not things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.

Here I beseech thee, and I will speak, I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me. I want to be the student, God, now, and you teach me.

Verse 5, I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye seeth thee, wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

For Job, it was really that he didn’t have a high enough view of his God. And so the trial for Job’s life was to realize God is way bigger than I thought. And Job came to that.

Okay, but now here’s what we’re looking at. Look at verse 7. And it was so that after the Lord had spoken these words unto Job,

the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee and against thy two friends. Here it is.

For ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath. Here’s a man who is described as a friend to Job, and what has he been doing?

He’s not been speaking for the Lord to his friend. He’s been making it up as he goes. Now, we’ve already talked about that.

Humanism. Now, I’ll just be honest with you. I think that the common thing among groups of young people like yourself,

it happens with adults as well, is that we see friends, young people, come together with common hurts, with common philosophies.

They exclude, listen to me, exclude certain other young people who maybe are walking with God, who could really be a help.

We don’t want them part of our group. Frankly, they get in their little group and they make fun of them. Ah, they drank the Kool-Aid.

Oh, they just do whatever the teacher says. Oh, they’ll, you know, let them know they’ll run off and tell the principal or their parents or whatever will get in trouble.

Why don’t they include some young people who are making decisions for God because they don’t want to make those decisions? I’m trusting I’m not talking to anybody here.

But you need to hear this. We choose out the friends too many times who have similar hurts and we know are not going to challenge us. We don’t go to somebody and say, look, my thinking may be off here.

I need to know if it is. And I’m giving you total freedom right now. Here’s a thought that I had.

Here’s something that I heard. Here’s something I said the other day. Now you tell me.

Tell me straight. Am I wrong? How do I handle this?

Should I go to my folks? Should I deal with this? I apologize for that.

And you better have as a friend in your group that will look you in the eye and tell you what is right.

And you ought not chasing them for it. You ought to say, thank you. I needed that.

Now that’s true friendship. Wesley alluded to that. And he’s exactly right.

That is so uncommon. You know what I see? I see peer groups.

I see little groups here, little cliques. You know what a clique is? That’s exactly what it is.

It’s just a group of weakness. I’m sorry. It is.

I grew up, I was a teen. I know what it’s all about. We all have it.

It’s fear of man. And I don’t want to know what’s right. Look, you know where to go to find out what is right.

You already know. You know what kids in the school will tell you what the deal is. You already know.

You don’t befriend them. because you don’t want to hear it. You know, that’s a shame.

You’re missing out on something in your life. And consequently, you’re not able now to be a real friend because you’ve already yourself put yourself in a compromising place.

I’ve got to show you a video. What time is it? I’ve got ten minutes.

I’m going to show you a quick video to illustrate my point. I already illustrated it once. I don’t want anybody to turn around yet.

So face the front. I’d have you close your eyes, but we’re too old for that. Okay.

I’m going to have you turn around in just a minute. Okay, now you can turn around. Oh, don’t you love it?

Stop. Okay, now, look, this was, listen carefully, because we’re going to move right on after this.

I’ve got two more points to give. This is a football game that happened one week ago today in the state of California. It’s high school football.

It’s Fairfield High in the red. They haven’t won a game. They’re on the field and they’ve not won a game this season.

And that’s Rodriguez High playing them in the white. Now here’s a 20-second play. You watch it and see if you can tell what’s wrong with this play.

Okay, did you all see that? I’m going to play it one more time for those who don’t know what a football is. Okay, here it is.

You watch. Now watch the player on the ground. Watch him.

Watch him. He almost, oh, I almost got in. Now watch the guys explaining it to him.

Okay. All right. All right, now watch this.

He catches it. Right there. Okay, now here’s a friend.

He’s making a wrong choice. He’s heading the wrong direction. I want you to watch what everybody does.

You see the team, the red team is his. They’re getting ready to block for him. But he’s going the wrong way.

Now they’re trying to figure it out, and they’re beginning to point. More are going to point. Right now, you have three guys on the screen pointing.

You have several men in red uniforms watching. You have three that are pointing. You have some that are chasing.

But you only have one that’s tackling. Now my question for you is, what are you? You’re an observer.

You’re a pointer. You’re a chaser. Or you’re a tackler.

You know what a tackler is? Somebody looks at your friend and says, I can’t let you do that.

Obviously, the way that you’re talking about your mom, your dad, your sister, whatever, it’s not right. There’s something that’s really wrong.

Okay, now you’re an observer. You’re just going to stand there and let him make a touchdown for the other team?

That’s Satan? Really? Is that what you’re going to do?

You know the best thing that can happen to him is that he gets tackled before he gets in the end zone. Are you willing to put your friendship on the line for the Lord

to do right, to be that kind of testimony, to say, look, I will not, I cannot let you proceed this way? Zero, 100.

This is not about me. It’s about God in your life. Number one, are you of the friend who stands for God to his friends?

Number two, a friend is one who stands for his friend to God. Let’s keep reading in Job chapter 42, and let’s read again verse 7. Job 42, verse 7,

And it was so that after the Lord had spoken these words unto Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against thee and against thy two friends,

for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job had. Verse 8,

Therefore take unto you now seven bullocks and seven rams, and go to my servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering,

and my servant Job shall pray for you. He shall pray for you. Are you the kind of friend

who takes the needs of your friends to the Lord? Because that’s what God said needs to happen. You haven’t been that kind of friend to Job,

but Job now is going to be that kind of friend to you. He says, Then he says,

For him will I accept, lest I deal with you after your folly, and that you have not spoken of me the thing which is right,

like my servant Job. He repeats it, verse 9. So a life as the Temanite, Bildi the Shuite,

Zophar the Namathite, went and did according as the Lord commanded them. The Lord also accepted Job,

and the Lord turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends. Also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.

Number two, a friend is one who stands for his friend to God. Look, they’re not doing right, God. I know they’re not doing right.

I don’t think it’s cute. It’s not funny. I’m not going to get involved in it.

How do I put this to an end? How do I see them get victory? I love my friend enough to not think it’s funny.

God, you’ve got to give me wisdom. God we got to see victory here for my friend I love them look you don’t go to your friend and say look you’re my friend I love you but but we got to do

something about this no it’s because you love them get your thinking straight around if you didn’t love them well then you’d think it was funny I do the same thing to my parents oh that’s funny no you ought to hear what they’re saying

and go, wait a minute. Do I talk to my parents that way? Do I talk about my parents that way?

Oh, this is terrible. God, you’ve got to deal with me first. Then you’ve got to help me deliver them.

This isn’t funny. And that kind of brings me to my third point. A friend is one who is free.

Now that’s the odd thing. I know, it doesn’t seem to fit with the others, but it’s in the Bible.

So that’s what we’re going to do because we outline the Bible. Number three is a friend is one who is free. Now you say, where do we get that?

Well, right here. Look, it’s right here in the Bible. Look at verse 10.

And the Lord turned the captivity of Job. What does that mean? He set him free.

What do you mean? Well, he had this big affliction. He had this big trial.

And it says, and when Job prayed for his friends, God freed Job. That’s what happened. His wrath was turned away from the friends,

but it says the captivity of Job was lifted. It was turned away. You know something?

You’re not really a good friend if you’re not free. You say, well, how do I get free? Well, there’s three points right there.

And the first two are how you get free. You stand for God in front of your friends. Now look, wait a minute.

What you’re saying there is in violation of this scripture. You’re telling me that you took something that doesn’t belong to you. I don’t think that’s funny.

You ought to give it back. You ought to confess. You’re telling me you lifted something from Walmart.

That’s not right. You don’t think it’s funny. It’s not cute.

Wow, let me see it. That’s really neat. Oh, wow, I wish I had one of those.

It’s not funny. You’re standing for God. You want to be free?

This is how you get free. Stand for God to your friends. Number two, you stand for your friends before the Lord.

And then right here, God will turn your captivity. You’ll be free. You say, well, people may not want to be around me.

That’s their choice. Don’t make your choices based on theirs. Make yours based on the Word.

and you’ll be free. Not only will you be free, what does it say that God did for Job?

What’s it say? What’s it say? He gave him double.

You like double? You like double? You go get an ice cream cone?

How do you like double? They say, hey, we’ll double it for you. What do you think?

No, no, really. No, that’s fine. I don’t really care for ice cream.

I shouldn’t be eating it anyway. Of course you’re going to get double. Hello?

Hello? Hey, if you walked in and said, I ordered a pizza, is it ready?

And they said, yeah, yeah, well, we got two here for you. What are you going to say?

No, that’s too much. I don’t really care for pizza. I’m kind of allergic,

you know. No, I don’t. You’re going to grab two?

You’re going to grab two. You know what God says? I’ll double your life.

I’ll bless you. You got to do it his way. You got to do it his way.

Let’s bow with the word of prayer. Heavenly Father, we thank you for what we’ve learned from your word.

And Lord, I pray that you would take these simple truths, help us to be the one like in the football game, who just couldn’t see his friend take the ball down and score

and have that against his conscience. I’ve got to stop the guy. And I pray, Lord, that we would be that kind of friend,

which is a friend. Your word says, faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful.

Lord, help us to be a true friend. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.