Joseph Mueller: Well, my name is Joe Mueller, and I serve on staff here at Falls Baptist Church. I oversee the children's ministry here and things with publications and all those kind of things. So for those of you that don't know me, that's who I am, and I'm glad you joined us here for this session.

And let's take our Bibles, if you have that there, Bibles. Pull out your notebook, hope you have a pen, any of those things. Turn to Proverbs 13, Proverbs 13.

And we're going to look briefly here at Proverbs 13, and we'll spend most of our time looking at an illustration of this proverb that will help us here as we talk about this topic here of friend or foe and biblical friends. How many of you ever heard the phrase, with friends like you, who needs an enemy? Ever heard that before?

Friends like you, who needs enemies? It's normally a phrase that's kind of said in more of a joking manner, like somebody said, oh, you know, some sort of mild insult to us.

And it's like, oh, come on, friends like you, who needs enemies? Often kind of that joking manner, but unfortunately, I think that's actually probably more often true than we would want to believe in our life.

Very often, people that we think of as maybe our best friends or really good friends in our life actually are some of our worst enemies because they're not really good friends. And

not that they're necessarily intentionally trying to lead us astray, but their life, the way that they live and the influence that they have on us is not helping us to go the right direction.

And God really made us, we're made for relationships. We're made with this desire for acceptance, the desire to be part of something, to have purpose.

And that's right. That's how God made us. That's a wonderful thing.

But the problem comes when we forget that every relationship we have, every friendship we have, is influencing us, either positively or negatively, one direction or the other.

There's no such thing as a neutral relationship, as a neutral friendship, you are being affected, whether you realize it or not.

It's truth. And here in Proverbs chapter 13, we see a very simple but potent proverb

that helps us in this matter of friends. Proverbs chapter 13, verse number 20, says this, He that walketh with wise men shall be wise,

but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Now, as we think about this verse, we obviously have a contrast going on, very typical for the book of Proverbs.

And we see here a reference to a wise man and then to a fool. And it's important for us, maybe sometimes when we think of those things,

we aren't necessarily thinking of it the way it's described in the book of Proverbs. A wise man in the book of Proverbs is not somebody necessarily that just knows a lot,

that has a lot of wisdom. You know, the guy sitting up on the top of the mountain that people climb up to to ask their questions. That's not necessarily a wise man.

When the book of Proverbs is talking about a wise man, it is someone that has a relationship with God. A truly wise person is someone who, we see at the beginning of Proverbs,

fears the Lord and who knows Him. Yes, they know truth, but it's truth coupled with a relationship with God. That's one side of the contrast.

The other side, then, is the fool. And the fool in the book of Proverbs is not just someone who's silly, not just the court jester. A fool in the book of Proverbs is someone who is not pursuing after God.

It's someone who's going their own way, someone who's doing things their own plans. That's what we see here in the book of Proverbs as the wise man and the fool. And so what this is telling us is either if you follow and you make your companions,

you walk with wise people, then you will be like them. But if you are a companion of fools, you make them your friends, you're going to end up being like them for the life that's destroyed.

I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to have my life destroyed. But that's the principle that we see here in this. I could put it this way.

A wise friend is a person who will help you to grow closer to God. But a foolish friend is someone who will lead you away from God. So who's your friend?

Are your friends leading you closer to God? Or are they leading you away from God? Now turn over to 1 Kings chapter 12.

1 Kings chapter 12. And here we find the story of a king, a king by the name of Rehoboam. Can anybody tell me, with your extensive Bible knowledge, who was the father of Rehoboam?

Does anybody know? Solomon. All right, great.

Thank you, Azariah. Solomon was the father of Rehoboam. So here we have the first king of Israel, King Saul, followed by David, then followed by King Solomon,

and now Rehoboam is the next in line. King Solomon was, of course, the wisest, richest, most extensive, ruled over the most extensive region

of all the kings of Israel that ever reigned. And this was his son that came to power after him. Now Solomon wrote the proverb we just read.

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. As best as we know, he wrote that proverb for his son.

But here we see in King Rehoboam's life a vivid illustration of a companion of fools shall be destroyed. And as we look at this proverb, I want us to see through this illustration

three simple principles that help us to determine whether or not our friends are truly our friends, leading us closer to God, or if they're our foe, leading us away from God.

Let's read a couple of verses here from 1 Kings chapter 12. We have, I will just for sake of time, briefly summarize the first part of the story.

We have Rehoboam coming to power, and the people come to him underneath the leadership of a man named Jeroboam to ask for the taxes to be cut.

essentially. Solomon built many things, built the temple, built palace, a lot of other improvements to Jerusalem.

And so all of that, much of that wealth came from very high tax rates for the people there in the kingdom of Israel. And so they came and they asked, they said, King Rehoboam,

as you're coming to power now, would you lower the tax rate for us? Would you make it easier for us as we seek to live.

And we'll pick up with that. Verse number five, he says, Depart yet for three days, then come again to me,

and the people departed. Now verse number six, And King Rehoboam consulted with the old men

that stood before Solomon, his father, while he yet lived, and said, How do ye advise that I may answer this people? And they spake unto him, saying,

If thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day, and wilt serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them,

then they will be thy servants forever. Now notice verse number eight. But he forsook the counsel of the old men,

which they had given him, and consulted with the young men that were grown up with him and which stood before him.

And he said unto them, What counsel give ye that we may answer this people, who has spoken to me, saying,

Make the yoke which thy father did put upon us lighter. And the young men that were grown up with him spake unto him, saying,

Thus shalt thou speak unto this people that spake unto thee, saying, Thy father made our yoke heavy, but make thou it lighter unto us. Thus shalt thou say unto them, My little fingers shall be thicker than my father's loins. And now, whereas my father did laid you with a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke.

My father hath chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions. So here we have Rehoboam coming, asking for advice. And first he goes to the old, aged counselors that had the experience,

that had the wisdom, that had served with his father. And he said, what should I do? They said, give them a lighter tax load.

They'll be your servants forever. They'll follow you as their king. And Rehoboam says, okay, thank you.

Not going to do it. And he comes to another group of men. He says here, the young men that had grown up with him, that stood before him.

And this was Rehoboam's circle of friends. the people he had around him. Not just now as a king,

but that he had had around him for years his circle of friends. And he asked them what to do.

And you know what they do? They tell him the exact opposite from what the older men said.

Now, first principle I want us to see here, first principle I want us to see, and you can write this down

if you're writing things down. Number one, foolish friends tell you what you want to hear.

not what is right. They tell you what you want to hear not what is right.

Foolish friends don't, they aren't concerned about what's truth, what's the right thing to do. They're concerned about, well, what do you want to do?

How do you feel about it? They're concerned more about the comfort of keeping the relationship with you

than they are about doing what's right. You see, Rehoboam, before he ever heard the counsel of his friends,

he had already made up his mind not doing what the old guys said. He had already decided.

He said he forsook their counsel and said, I'm going over here to ask them. Why?

Because Rehoboam, I believe, already knew in his heart what he wanted to do. And he said, if I go ask these guys,

they're going to tell me to do it. He knew they were going to tell him what he wanted to hear. He knew they didn't care about what was right

or what was the best thing to do. They cared about just making him feel good. that's why they were a circle of friends around him

because they told him what he wanted to hear and listen if the friends that you have in your life the people that you allow to influence you

that are the circle of friends around you that you are close to if they're the kind of people that never have

confronted you about a spiritual issue in your life about some need in your life or you know they never would, they're foolish friends.

If they're the kind of people that hear you listen to music you shouldn't listen to, and they say, hey, well, this is pretty good, oh, yeah, that's fine. They're foolish friends.

But if there's someone that would come and say, no, you shouldn't be listening to that. That's not pleasing the Lord. That's a good friend.

That's a good friend. If there's someone saying, you know what, there's just something, you don't seem to have the joy of the Lord.

What's going on? That's a good friend. Someone trying to help take you closer to God instead of leading you away from Him.

But someone who just tells you what you want to hear, that helps you live, feel comfortable, that wants you to feel, that lets you just feel totally accepted all the time.

And boy, I just, we don't want to step on anybody's toes. That's not a good friend. That's a foolish friend.

Proverbs chapter 27 and verse number 6 says, faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of the enemy are deceitful.

See, a real friend is someone who will tell you what's wrong when there's something wrong. Someone who will cut it straight with you and deal with something if there's something that needs to be dealt with. How many of you ever heard the term tough love?

Ever heard that before? What's tough love? Tough love is when someone cares enough about you that they're willing to do the hard thing.

I've got four children. Those of you who don't know me, I have four little ones. Four, three, two, and one years old.

I love them to death. And you'll see them around here sometime in the next couple days here. And I love them.

But you know what? There's sometimes it's really hard to love them. There's times when they're doing wrong things and I have to deal with it.

I can't just let them, well, I'll just look. I know they just disobeyed and I'll just, it's okay, I'll look over it. I can't do it.

That's not love. Real love deals with the problem. And a real friend is someone that's going to actually confront you about a need in your life.

It's not going to just say, well, whatever. But foolish friends, oh, they're never going to go there. Rehoboam's friend sure didn't.

What about your friends? Number two, foolish friends encourage you to live selfishly instead of biblically. Foolish friends encourage you to live selfishly instead of biblically.

Remember the counsel here that Rehoboam's friends gave to him? Oh no, don't lower the taxes. Tell him, my pinky finger is going to be thicker than my father's waist was.

That's how much I'm going to exact from you. He used whips, I'm using scorpions. I want more.

I want all that I can get. That was their counsel to them. Oh yeah, just live for yourself.

Get whatever is good for you. Don't worry about those other people. Don't worry about God.

Just get whatever is good for you. We live in a world where we are inundated with that type of thinking, aren't we? Everywhere you turn, they're telling you it's all about you.

It's all about what you want to do. It's all about pursuing what you want to pursue. It's all about listening to what you want to listen to

and watch what you want to watch and make you feel good. Don't let anybody tell you what to do.

You're the boss in your life. That's what our world is saying. That's what some of your friends are saying.

You mean your parents won't let you do what? Listen, we can find a way to do this. Listen, that's a foolish friend.

But some of you put up with it. Some of you do it. Behind mom and dad's back.

And you've got friends that are leading you away from God. Some of you, your friends, aren't a person that you spend time with. It's a Facebook page that you visit.

It's a website that you go to. It's a movie that you watch. It's a book that you read.

It's a podcast you listen to. People that you're allowing to influence your life who are leading you away from God. And though you may never see them face to face, well, you like their page.

You like their Facebook posts. You're following them. You're subscribed to that podcast, whatever it is.

You're listening to that music. And those are friends in your life. Oh, you mark it down.

They're friends. You just don't see their faces. But they're influencing you deeply.

And they're not helping you get closer to God. They're foolish friends that are telling you, just do what feels good.

Do what you want to do. instead of telling you, let's live a biblical life.

What does God want you to do? A biblical friend, a godly friend, is one who's willing to tell you,

no, that's not right. This is what God says, and this is what we've got to do.

Iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. A godly friend is one that you know

when I'm with them, I'm going to be encouraged in the things of God. I'm going to be encouraged to pursue after God with my whole heart.

That's the kind of friend you need. Number three, foolish friends lead you to a broken life instead of blessing. Foolish friends lead you to a broken life instead of blessing.

That's literally what that verse in Proverbs chapter 13 says, that a companion of fools shall be destroyed, broken, is what that word means, shattered.

That's what happened with Rehoboam. Not just his life, his whole kingdom was shattered. By the time this was all said and done,

the fallout of this decision that he made, he had lost almost the entire kingdom. All he had left was one tribe.

And for the rest of his life, he was in war. And there was destruction, devastation. And the kingdom that he inherited from his father that was full of blessing

by the time his life was done was totally in shambles. Listen, young people. I could give you story after story after story today

of young people. People that I grew up with. People that I went to school with.

People that I ministered to. Young people who had a heart for God. Who wanted to do something for God.

Who wanted to use them in some sort of way. Who today their life is in absolute shambles. Shattered.

Broken. and you know where it started for a lot of them? Friends.

Started to listen to the wrong voices. They started to spend time with the wrong people. Whether it was in person,

or in the music, or on the TV, on the internet.

I can think of one young man that I was counseling with right back here on this hill several years ago, who was wrestling with his music. Music that he didn't grow up listening to, but as he began to spend some time with lost friends,

playing basketball in the back alley day after day, they began to play this music and he began to tolerate it until he began to like it, until he began to listen to it on his own, behind his mom and dad's back.

And as I counseled him that day, he was in a wrestling match. Am I going to do what I know God wants me to do, or am I going to love my friends and my music more?

He didn't make the right decision that day. And today, can I tell you, he's not serving God. Oh, no.

He's not living a life of joy. Oh no. His life's a wreck.

Broken. When God wanted his life to be blessed. This wasn't God's will for Rehoboam, and it's not God's will for you.

God wants your life to be filled with joy and blessing. that some of you are going to let friends rob you from it. Because you want those friends.

You like that acceptance that you get from them. And so you're going to keep that. And you're going to have a broken life.

Pastor Weber, who we just heard preach just a few moments ago, When he tells his testimony, how God saved him from a life of drugs and addiction, every time I hear him tell that testimony, I'm always a little jarred

as he begins to describe how he even got into that kind of a lifestyle. And he talks about how his friends introduced him to crack cocaine. And then his friends introduced him to crystal meth and went on and on.

Oh, he thought they were his friends. They acted like they were his friends. But they were his enemy.

And it utterly destroyed his life until Jesus rescued him. And young people, can I tell you this? Some of you are moving down the same path.

You say, oh, I don't have that. Listen, you have no clue where you're going to go. You have no clue how far you'll go if you keep listening to your friends.

You say, well, listen, I see there's things in my life, there's friends that I have, Brother Mueller, that things that I allow to influence me,

whether they're people or media or whatever it is, that they're not helping me in my pursuit of God. I see that.

I see it's not right. It shouldn't be part of my life. It's leading me away from God, and I don't want that.

I want to be pursuing after God. What do I do? It's really not complicated.

It's pretty simple. Number one, get it out of your life. Get rid of the friend.

Break off the relationship. Delete the Facebook account. Throw away the music.

Throw away the movie. get rid of it. That's kind of hard.

That might hurt. That's anything but feeling accepted. When I break off a relationship with a person,

that's why you need number two. Pursue Jesus with all of your heart. Let him be your friend.

Can I tell you this? You are accepted in Jesus. You have purpose in Jesus.

You have friendship in Jesus. You have all that you need. If you have Jesus, you don't need anything else.

If he is your friend, if you truly know him and let him be your friend, you don't need those other things. And God may bring other people into your life that are helping you get closer to God.

Praise the Lord. But if you have Jesus, you can get rid of those friends that are leading you away. You can cut off those things if you'll say,

Jesus, I want you to be my closest friend. Growing up, I had a close friend. When I was just a little kid, I lived on the cul-de-sac,

and I was kind of at the mouth of the cul-de-sac. He lived right down at the end. His name was Jamie Edwards.

And he and I, we literally did everything together. I'm talking from four or five years old. We went to the same church at the time and lived in the same neighborhood.

Of course, we would spend hours every day after school outside playing. And Jamie was saved. His family was saved.

But there came a point in time as we began to get to upper elementary school, and especially into junior high, where it began to become very clear that Jamie's life and my life were going to take a little bit different directions.

Jamie wanted to go be a work in Hollywood I wanted to go be a preacher

and there came a point where this friend that I had had that I literally had spent

hundreds probably thousands of hours with we had to kind of part ways so not that we never said hi to each other

Not that we never interacted, not that we were angry and upset with each other, but the relationship couldn't be the same. I couldn't spend time with him like that.

I tell you today, what seemed like a little thing at the time is a dramatic spread. I went to his wedding a couple of years ago, and I tell you it was sad. here's a young man that could have served God

came from the same background I did but he made some decisions to start pursuing not after God

but going away from God and young people the friends that you have

you might have to cut that off but can I tell you this it's worth it because I'm glad I'm not where he is. It's the Lord.

But tell you what, I'm grateful to be living a life of blessing and purpose in Jesus Christ.

And you can too. But it may mean that hard decision. But we need to.

Are your friends friends or foes? Are they leading you to God

or away from him. Let's pray.