The Upside-Down Kingdom
If there’s one thing Jesus made super clear in His Sermon on the Mount, it’s that God cares about our hearts—not just our actions. We’ve already seen that anger can be just as serious as murder, and lust just as serious as adultery. And now, in Matthew 5:31-32, Jesus takes it one step further by showing us something that people don’t like to talk about—even in church: divorce.
Let’s be honest—divorce is a painful topic. Whether your parents have gone through it, you’ve seen it in friends’ families, or you’ve just felt the sting of broken relationships, it hits close to home. But Jesus didn’t avoid the hard stuff, and we shouldn’t either. Why? Because when Jesus talks about tough topics, it’s not to hurt us—it’s to help us. To show us something better. Something holy. Something good.
And that’s where we begin: with God’s design for marriage.
Not Just About Paperwork
In Jesus’ day, the religious leaders (Pharisees) had turned God’s Word into a loophole system. According to them, a man could divorce his wife for basically any reason—burning dinner, not looking as pretty as she used to, or just falling for someone else. All he had to do was fill out the paperwork, and boom—he was free.
But Jesus wasn’t having any of it.
He said, “Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery…” (Matthew 5:32). In other words, it’s not just a legal document—it’s a moral issue. And Jesus is calling them—and us—back to the heart of what marriage is supposed to be.
From the Beginning: One Flesh, for Life
When the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus with this same issue later in Matthew 19, they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” Jesus didn’t take their bait. Instead, He pointed them all the way back to Genesis:
“He which made them at the beginning made them male and female… and they twain shall be one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matthew 19:4–6)
Boom. Jesus was saying: this isn’t just about rules. This is about design. God’s design. When two people get married, they become one in the eyes of God—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That’s not something you can just undo with a signature.
But What About…?
Of course, Jesus did give one exception—“saving for the cause of fornication” (Matthew 5:32). The Greek word used here, porneia, refers to serious sexual sin that breaks the marriage covenant, like adultery. Jesus acknowledged that sin has real consequences, and that unfaithfulness can fracture the very foundation of a marriage.
But even then, Jesus wasn’t promoting divorce. He was simply recognizing how deeply sin can destroy. He was still calling us to pursue God’s original design: faithfulness, forgiveness, and permanence.
So What Does This Mean for Me?
You might be thinking, “I’m not even close to getting married. What does this have to do with me?”
More than you think.
Right now, you’re forming your view of relationships. You’re picking up ideas from movies, songs, social media, and your friends. Some of those ideas say, “Just follow your heart,” or “If it gets hard, walk away.” But Jesus calls you to something better—to prepare now for a marriage that lasts a lifetime.
Here’s how you can start living God’s design for marriage today:
- Take purity seriously. Jesus said that even looking with lust is adultery of the heart. Don’t feed your mind with things that distort your view of love and commitment.
- Honor marriage. Speak highly of it. Don’t joke about divorce or treat marriage like a joke. It’s a gift from God.
- Pray for your future spouse. Whether you’re called to marry or not, you can prepare your heart now to love someone with Christlike selflessness.
- Value forgiveness. If marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for us, then forgiveness will always be part of the picture. Learn now how to forgive deeply.
God’s Heart Is Always Good
Maybe this all hits a little too close to home. Maybe you’ve been hurt by divorce. Maybe you feel like your family is messed up and there’s no going back.
But listen: Jesus didn’t come to heap shame on people. He came to bring healing.
If there’s sin in your past—yours or someone else’s—Jesus offers forgiveness. The Bible says, “the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). And when Jesus forgives, He doesn’t hold it over your head. He restores. He makes new.
Don’t let the past define you. Let Jesus lead you forward.
Marriage isn’t just a human contract—it’s a God-designed covenant. Let’s not treat it like a temporary arrangement or a checklist item for adulthood. Let’s honor it, prepare for it, and trust that God’s way is always best—even when it’s hard.
Because God’s design for marriage is good. And He designed it with you in mind.
This Article is a part of a series
The Upside-Down Kingdom
Bobby Bosler is director of Thee Generation and pastor of Fellowship Baptist Church in Fairmont, WV. He, his wife, Abi, and their four children traveled the country for 14 years in evangelism, reaching teens with the gospel and conducting revival meetings.
Our words. AI polished. This article was adapted from the author's original content using AI. We’ve used technology to clarify and adapt the message—while keeping the heart and voice the same. All articles are proofread and edited by a human.
