Ryan Swanson: Hello and welcome back to the Satisfied podcast here on the Thee Generation Network. I’m glad you’ve chosen to join us again, and we are excited to get back into this series on Twisted Passions. Pulling to a close here pretty soon, probably just one or two episodes left in this series. But I’m really excited where this one is headed, and this episode in particular is going to be very unique leading into the following episode as well. But I’m pumped about what we have at the end of this episode here. We spent the last few months focusing on what we’ve kind of termed the eunuch principle, and it really being an explanation for why so many that struggle with same-sex attraction feel like they were born that way. And I feel like we have lacked a good biblical explanation for that for a long time. and this is the best explanation I have heard, and it’s coming straight from Scripture in the book of Matthew, and so it has been an answer to me and a help to me in knowing how to help others, and many of you have written in during this time and expressed the same, and it’s not that everyone can necessarily relate to that exactly, but many of you have said it’s, at least in aspects of it, It has been helpful to understand the possibility of being created under that eunuch principle. And I will just encourage you, if you have not listened to those, to go back and listen to the last several podcasts from Satisfied in this series. And discover yourself what we’re talking about with the eunuch principle. But I feel like what I have not done really well is given specific advice or application for those that, regardless of how you got there, are currently struggling with same-sex attraction. We can deny it all day long, you might be thinking. Maybe it started by accident. Maybe it started it wasn’t my fault. Maybe it started with confusion. But regardless of how it started, you may be saying, I’m here now. What am I supposed to do? Well, we’ve addressed this in a couple of different ways. The primary one has just been recognizing your identity, don’t overthink it, and just the same way you got into this through believing lies, start declaring and believing the truths of how God made you. Now, I stand by that, and I think there’s a lot of truth there that needs to be recognized. But I also understand that practically, there’s probably some key steps that are going to be necessary and just as critical in order to see that play out. I intended for this episode to be the one where I now break down, based on the reasonably extensive research I’ve done over the past several months here, for me to lay out to you here are the steps or at least a list of things that other people have found helpful that I think these are the ones that I could see being extremely helpful to those in our audience that are studying this way. That was kind of my goal, but as I was preparing this episode, I was struck with a different need. And that’s because I think this was such a critical need in my own life, in my own purity journey, and I feel like maybe those, especially with same-sex attraction, are being deprived of this benefit that is biblical and that I want to present to you right now. It is not something foreign to the podcast here. We’ve discussed this, so it’s been some time, but we certainly have covered this multiple times on the podcast, so it’s nothing new. But I want to remind us of this principle from Scripture and see how it applies in this case and let you know why my plans changed for the way to end this series. And in doing so, I want to take you back to one of the foundational passages that we’ve discussed several times here on the Satisfied podcast, but also a foundational passage in my own heart and was crucial at the beginning of my purity journey. That’s, of course, Ecclesiastes chapter 4. I know we’ve been there many times, but I think we need to go there again. Ecclesiastes chapter 4, and we’ll begin reading in verse number 9. It says, Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat. But how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Now, one of the things I have read and heard the most from those struggling with SSA is the incredible lonely feeling that haunts you all the time, feeling like you’re in such a minority struggling this way, or just that you don’t have someone that you can be open with, or at least not someone that can relate to you. And so there’s incredible loneliness, and loneliness is the very thing that Ecclesiastes 4, 9 through 12 here is warning against, specifically being alone in temptation, being alone when you fall, is the warning in verse number 10. Now, it was reading this passage at the beginning of my purity journey as the Lord was working in my heart, and specifically seeing the illustration here given, the picture of a threefold cord as that aspect of personal discipleship or accountability that is going to be critical for someone to be helped in this battle that they’re facing, in order for them to be helped up in verse 10, then the picture of that help, that relationship with the partner, is referred to as a three-fold cord. And again, as we’ve looked at this before, if you break down that illustration, you look at a three-fold cord, it’s not one of the strands of the cord that’s super strong and is pulling the others up to where it’s at. And that is generally the view of discipleship that we have. It’s a problem, especially when it comes to things like purity and whether it’s SSA or not, because what we tend to do is wait for somebody who’s been where we’re at or been where we have been. They’ve been at rock bottom in the throngs of a sexual addiction, but now they’re standing at a point of complete victory and can tell us exactly what to do, and in essence, allow their strength to pull us up to where they’re at. That’s a very common picture of discipleship, and there’s a place, again, for mentorship, but the picture here is of something quite entirely different. A threefold cord is three strands of the cord that are indefinitely woven together, each one of them both depending on the others and contributing to the overall strength of the cord. This picture is of something I would simply call mutual discipleship. This is not one strong one pulling the others up, but it’s every member of the cord contributing and depending on the group for its strength. So in order for this threefold cord to work though, a couple things have to be true. Number one, we’ve got to realize that the integrity of each strand of the cord is critical. The integrity. In other words, you’ve got to take responsibility still for your own actions. You’re not coming into the group to mooch off of everyone else and just to feed off of their victory while you wallow in your own defeat and hope it averages out. That’s not the idea. So the integrity of each cord is critical. And I would also say that there is something very special about a young man or young woman who’s struggling in this area who can’t find an exact answer from anyone else, any book, any podcast, any preacher. And no one else that they can listen to or hear or read on exactly speaks to where they’re at. And they’re thinking, man, am I just the odd one out? And then you, in personal responsibility and in personal search, almost maverick style, feeling like you’re blazing your own trail through Scripture, have to wrestle with God yourself, and he gives you truths that no one else can. There’s something so special about that when God speaks specifically to you right where you’re at. I realized that soon after all of these truths that God was giving me, Many of them were helpful to other people, but I realized that they can’t skip that step of hearing from God themselves. That was just as crucial as any one truth or verse that God gave me at the time. So don’t skip that. Your own integrity and your own journey is so important in order for this cord to work at all. That search for Christ that promises to end in finding him if you search for him with all your heart. So the integrity of each strand of the cord is critical, but the strength of each cord is mutual. It goes both ways. Before we had the Cord app, we were using other apps to try to facilitate this daily accountability, and unfortunately, the way it was laid out at the time, as the Lord began to grow our ministry from the beginning, I was forced to be involved in pretty much every accountability group that was stemming out from our ministry just the way it was, and definitely was not practical or ideal. But at times, there were 30 guys across the country that were in some ways connected back to me in accountability, and again, it was not ideal, sustainable, or I think arguably not even biblical, as I certainly cannot be a proper biblical accountability partner for 30 guys every day. However, in that time, it was frequent to have the men reach out and say, something like, Ryan, you have no idea how much this accountability has been helpful. This is completely changing the way I think through the day, and it’s rewiring my mind, and I love this, And thank you so much for being a part of this victory. And I would always respond with, you don’t understand. This accountability is mutual. And your victory that you’re so thankful for is 33% of my own in our threefold cord. So what do we mean by that? What’s so powerful about this mutual idea of keeping each other accountable and contributing to each other and sharing verses to encourage each other instead of just it all being one way? well i think a big part of it is the power of outflow as laid out for the new testament plan for christianity this idea of discipleship and disciples discipling others is just the way god intended this to work it is the picture of the church and how all of our discipleship should be happening to be honest when you do not have mutual discipleship you really cannot have consistent outflow. Mutual discipleship is really the only way to give consistent outflow to a growing Christian, whereas otherwise you’re normally reserving that outflow to a point when someone has reached a certain status or level within the church. But I would argue, based on this passage and others, that that outflow is one of the key steps to progress and grow in our Christian life. So why is this something that we’re bringing up today in this particular series? Well, in this area of same-sex attraction, I would understand why it’d be difficult to find outflow. I do believe it’s just as necessary and biblical, and that God will provide opportunities to do this in a way that’s appropriate and helpful both to you and others. But I understand it’s often that first step of, for the first time, sharing a testimony at the right time or admitting to others that you’ve struggled in a certain area and being able to share. And that first step is often the most difficult. And I remember that very clearly for me when that was the first time opening up to someone else and sharing what God was doing in my own heart, admitting it was a struggle for me, but sharing what he had been doing. But that was so powerful for me. And I don’t want to deprive you all struggling with same-sex attraction from the same opportunities that I do believe is biblical. So that’s why I’m really excited with how God has led for this particular podcast to give you what may be your first opportunity for clear, definite outflow in this area. And to do it in a way that is appropriate and helpful for everyone. now to explain what we’re going to do i have to tell you a story this is something really really special i don’t think i’ve shared here on the podcast but it happened a couple of years ago in a christian school that my wife and i were ministering in and i had quite a few opportunities to preach in this church in the school i think it came to 16 times or close to that somewhere around there that I preached total, and a number of those were in the Christian school. Many of them were in the church, but a number of those were in the Christian school for their daily chapel times. While we were seeing God really working in the church, there was a lack of response, really, in the Christian school, and I don’t really consider myself a preacher specifically gifted to teenagers as well, so it’s not all on them. It may have been some of that’s on me as well, but for whatever the reason, we were just struggling to break in, I felt like, to the hearts of the teenagers to get much feedback. It was just kind of dead all through the Christian school chapels throughout that week we were in this church. They didn’t strike me as terrible kids. It just wasn’t a vibrance and really no feedback on how they were doing, specifically in this area of purity, which we were addressing several times from different angles. So on the very last chapel time that we had there in this school, the Lord led to something that I had never done before, I have never done since, but it was very special and notable, and I want to share it with you. We did a split session, so my wife took the ladies and she did her own session with them, and I stayed there in the auditorium with the men, and I opened that chapel in prayer and then took them to, I believe, the same passage in Ecclesiastes chapter 4 to show them the power of mutual accountability and discipleship. I expressed to them my thoughts on the week, that I felt like there was another layer that we had not broken through, and there was a bit of disingenuous attitude throughout. So I told the guys, I’m going to ask a simple question, and I’m just asking that we be honest. If you’re willing, then be honest. Let’s man up, take responsibility, and answer this question with a raised hand very honestly. And I just simply said, if you can relate to the purity battle that we’ve been preaching on this week, and you’d admit that pornography has been a part of your own struggle, then would you raise your hand now? And granted, this was eyes open, heads up, everybody looking at me. And slowly, one by one, I think all but one hand went up with a couple dozen guys sitting in front of me. So their hands are raised and then starting to go back down. And I said, no, wait a second, Keep them raised. And now what I want you to do is look around at the guys around you. And so extremely reluctantly, and yes, very awkwardly at the beginning, now the men began looking into the eyes of other high schoolers that were struggling with the same thing that they were. And I said, there’s nothing new here. It’s not that everyone just started struggling with this. the only thing that changed is now it’s out there, and we all know it, so we can talk about this like it’s an issue we all face because it is. So now you know that your peers are struggling with the same sin that’s tearing you up, that’s robbing you of your joy and your confidence in your manhood, that’s quenching the spirit and leaving you empty. Now you know your friends, your brothers here are struggling with the same thing. So the question is, do you care? Do you care enough to help? As you can imagine, it was a very sober moment. The hands went down, and I told them I was going to, all I had was a series of questions, and I wasn’t going to be talking during this chapel time. They were going to be. I wanted to give them an opportunity to help each other. So I had a of questions, I think I only got to the first one or two. The first one on the list was something like this. What is a verse or biblical truth or practical step that you have found helpful in your battle for purity? And one after another, each one of these guys, without hesitation, these are the same guys that I couldn’t get to finish John 3.16 through the week and to contribute at all. Now, these guys, I’m completely hands-off, and they are just turning and looking at each other. And the first one says something like, you know, guys, I found it really helpful not to be idle. Find things to keep you busy. Boom. There it is. Shares it. Guys are saying, oh yeah, that’s good. Here’s something I found. How someone responds, here’s a verse that’s been helpful to me, guys. Someone else responds, hey, here’s something my dad told me that might be a help to you all. And it went on for the rest of the chapel hour. I hardly said another word the whole time. I just moderated and allowed these guys to disciple each other. Well, you say, which of those guys actually had victory that’s sharing those things? And I would say, from the sounds of it, all of them had a piece of it. And when they’re sharing it together, there were dots being connected that were meant to be connected through discipleship of believers. God had already been working in their individual hearts as they began to share what God had been doing. It was a taste of corporate revival there is what it was. And it didn’t end with that chapel hour. I closed down, prayed, dismissed them back to their classes, and I’m not joking, no one moved. And I eventually walked back to talk with the pastor, and he and I were discussing just how things had gone. And then we finally looked up at the front and noticed a circle of guys that had formed there. And I didn’t think much of it, didn’t know what they were talking about, what was going on. But one of them told me later, one of the seniors. And he said, Ryan, we sat there and nobody really knew what to do after we had just experienced that in the chapel hour. But he said, we eventually just formed a circle. He said, no one called the meeting. It wasn’t anyone’s idea. We just all ended up there standing around in a circle facing each other in silence. And someone finally broke the silence and just said, all right, guys, what are we going to do about this? What are we going to do? And the idea was given of a Bible study. And those guys, to my understanding, because they would reach out to me occasionally to ask for another passage to work through, through the end of the year, kept that Bible study on a weekly or whatever regular basis they were doing it. That, my friends, is a picture of what the church is supposed to look like. That’s what Christian friends and brothers do. That is mutual discipleship, the threefold cord. And because I believe this is just as critical for those struggling with same-sex attraction. I want to help you with the first step by giving you a voice to share with others. So what I’ve done is I’ve set up a short survey. It’s just two questions that I would encourage anyone who has any experience with same-sex attraction to go ahead and right now, I mean as soon as we close this episode, do not wait to go into the description, click the link that’s there, and it will take you to the simple two questions, and I’ll explain in a moment. You can click that link. It’ll take you there and fill these out as soon as you can. For those that maybe whatever reason you don’t have access to that description box, you can find the same link at thegeneration.org slash SSA, as in same-sex attraction, SSA, and there you will find the same two questions. Now, these are what those questions are. The first is just asking if you have experienced same-sex attraction, and there’ll be several multiple-choice answers there for you to choose yes, no, and then also is it just, is this a past battle or a current battle, and some other options as well. I’ll let you take a look at that. That’s that first question, just simple multiple choice. But the second one is really key, and that is asking you that same question that I asked in the Christian school? What is a verse, a biblical truth, a testimony, a practical tip that has been helpful for you that may be helpful to other people as well? And whatever that truth is, whether it completely delivered you or whether it’s just helped you as you grow in Christ, I want you to share that. Now, I can’t stress how important this is. You have to take this opportunity. I am so, so sure that this is what God has led us to for this podcast. And if you are listening and have any experience with same-sex attraction, God has given you something that you can share. I guarantee it. God has given you a truth, a verse, something that you can share with others. And I would encourage you, please reach out and share that through this avenue. It’s also going to help just get your eyes off of yourself, which we can so easily do with a battle for purity. It really becomes all about us, and it’s not. If we can get all our eyes off of ourselves and in that way stop feeding our flesh and even just the self-focus and just say, yes, this is an area I’ve struggled with. Sure, it’s been the pits. I’ve felt like at times it’s ruined my life, but now I want to get a vision for how God can use me specifically because of my experience in this area to help other people. And by the way, every one of those inputs is completely anonymous. It’s not asking you for your name, email, anything like that. This cannot be tracked back to your phone or anything. It’s completely anonymous using state-of-the-art software that is built out for this and does it all the time. And I want this to be anonymous so that every single person can have this attainable step here of sharing a truth and seeing God use you, even if you’re not at a point where you’re ready to open up completely, or maybe this isn’t the time, it’s not the right time for you to totally open up. But in this way, you can have the opportunity to help others and share. And I would plead with you to take advantage of this opportunity to do that. Now, the goal would be in the next episode and maybe even future episodes as well to reference those inputs and survey results from our community here and take those anonymous responses and use those to help contribute to one another’s victory. And in so doing, as you take that opportunity for outflow, I can promise you from Ecclesiastes chapter 4 that you and others will be helped. So right now, at the close of this podcast, do not wait. You know what’s going to happen if you put it off. Take the moment right now, just a few minutes, Go down into the description or program notes and click on that link that’s there. It’ll take you to thegeneration.org slash SSA for same-sex attraction. thegeneration.org slash SSA. Now, the neat thing is, even if you’re listening to this episode months or maybe even years later, we plan to keep this link in this form active indefinitely for a reasonable amount of time. So if at any point you’re listening and hear this and you’d like to be a part and contribute, please do as we’ll still have opportunity to see your response come in and perhaps share that. Now, I of course can’t guarantee that every one of the submissions that are given will be read on air, but I do intend to read as many as possible that I feel would be pertinent and helpful at all. Feel free also to submit multiple responses. If you do one now and then think of something else, you could put a second thing through. This is another tip or verse that’s been helpful to me. So don’t hesitate. You know what’s going to happen if you put this off till tomorrow. Go down right now. Just take a few seconds or minutes or whatever it takes. It won’t take long. Click that link in the description or the program notes or type into your browser, thegeneration.org slash SSA, as in same-sex attraction. and you will find that survey, fill that out, being confident that God can use you and what he’s shown you to help someone else be less gratified and more satisfied with Jesus Christ.

Thanks for joining us for this episode of the Degeneration Podcast. If you’ve been blessed or helped in any way by this episode or any other episodes, please consider sharing what God has done in your life. Your testimony could be exactly what someone else needs, to take their own stuff out of the boat.