Like a Bottle in the Smoke

The first time I remember reading Psalm 119:83, I know that I did what any intelligent young person would do when you don’t understand something. I puzzled over the imagery for a minute, then kept going and five minutes later forgot I’d ever read it. When I read it a few days ago, I had the brilliant idea to look up what the phrase “I am become like a bottle in the smoke” might mean, since all I came up with was a glass bottle being held over a fire, which didn’t make any sense to me. 

Now, I’m sure you all know that back in those days they didn’t have glass bottles, so that imagery is not correct. The “bottles” referred to here would have been made out of animal skins. When they were emptied and hung up in a tent and not used, the smoke from the tent fire would dry out the skin bottles and they’d become hard and brittle. 

Sometimes, during our Christian experience, we feel empty. Things happen in our lives that we don’t understand. We ask God why bad or disappointing or hurtful things happen to us, and get no answers. We start thinking that God doesn’t care about us anymore. We start wondering what we did wrong, and how to fix it. We’re pretty sure that God doesn’t like us, and we cave in to fears about always being alone and unloved. 

Did you know that it’s okay to feel confused, or lonely, or hurt? It’s not necessarily a sign that you’re far from God. Sometimes God leads us into “desert experiences” (think about Elijah in 1 Kings 17 or 19, and Jesus Himself in Luke 4). There are times when we feel empty and dry, just kind of wandering in the dirt and dust of an empty wasteland. We feel like a bottle in the smoke of troubles or temptations we didn’t ask for. 

When feelings like that come, we can learn something from the Psalmist here in Psalm 119:83. He doesn’t ask why he feels so dry. Instead, he simply acknowledges what he feels like and declares that in spite of his feelings, he remembers God’s statutes. He decides to trust God even though he feels alone. 

Feelings are important. God has emotions and He thought enough of them to give us some as well. The different emotions we experience are a vital part of our humanity as well as our spirituality. Now, we shouldn’t necessarily be looking for an emotional experience as evidence of spiritual realities, but they are there nonetheless. 

When you feel unimportant, unwanted, or unloved, you don’t need to force yourself to “feel better” or “cheer up.” God is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Ps. 64:1). He wants to fulfill you in ways you will never understand until you’re vulnerable enough to trust Him. It’s hard to explain in a way that makes sense, but if you will open your heart to God, He will overwhelm you with His presence, meeting every need you have. Sometimes the hard things don’t go away, but He’s there with you, every step of the way. The wilderness doesn’t always lose its harshness, but as long as you’re with Him, you never need to lose hope.