My Journey
My Journey to Having Children
In this episode, Dr. Jim continues his series about the key seasons in his life and what God taught him. This time, he recounts the trial of faith in having children. Hear how God turned their barrenness into blessings—one, two, maybe three—and be encouraged that the impossibilities you may be facing could well be the very pathway to God’s richest blessings.
If you’ve been encouraged by this podcast and would like to receive each episode delivered to your device, please subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts Also, please take the time to give us a five-star rating and write a brief review. That would help tremendously in getting the word out and raising the visibility of the Thee Generation for others.
For more faith inspiring resources and information about joining Thee Generation, please visit theegeneration.org.
This Episode is a part of a series
My Journey
Jim Van Gelderen: Welcome to the Thee Generation Podcast. This is Jim Van Gelderen, and I am podcasting here from Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin. We have just finished our War of Special Forces tour before Thanksgiving.
We finished in Riverview, Florida. And wow, we just had a great week there. So grateful for all the Lord did. I'm hoping some from Riverview are tuned in here to the Thee Generation Podcast, and some of you that have been in some of our War of Special Forces over this fall.
Certainly looking forward to the spring as well. We'll start in Tampa, Florida at West Gate Baptist Church, their Christian school there in mid-January, and proceed all the way to Pennsylvania before we finish in early May. So we're excited about the Lord's work, and what God's doing.
But I've been on a series. If you've been with us at all, you know I've been on the series of My Journey. I just thought some autobiographical material might help. I think I'm getting that word out a little bit better. But... just some things about my life that I know I look back and see God's hand in and some things God was teaching me as I was taking steps to follow His calling on my life.
And today I'd like to deal with a very important issue, and that is: the issue of my journey in regard to my family. Of course, you know, as you grow up, you kind of in the back of your head you know, “One day most likely I'll be a father; I'll be a husband.” It's not that you think a lot about it, but you realize that particularly being a father is coming.
Obviously, when I got married, I assumed that I would be a father. And I mentioned in my last podcast, my journey concerning getting myーGod leading in getting me the right one in marriage, and how important a journey that is in finding the right one. And then recognizing how important that wife will be in your life and your ministry. My wife has just been an unbelievable ministry partner, assisting and encouraging me in the Lord's work, and then being a very important part of that work.
I mentioned some of that last time, but one of the things of course marriage brings is: it brings the mother of your children, and I cannot emphasize how important that is, even as you're praying, that you recognize that the spouse that you bring into your life is going to be an important part of your children's lives. And, I’ll reference that a little bit later, but I want to start with a verse that you probably all have heard.
It was actually my mother's favorite verse, Proverbs 3:5 and 6. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
And you know, the Lord leads you. Sometimes you don't even realize that, as you're trusting the Lord, and not leaning to your own understanding. You're just saying, “Okay God, I believe this is what you want me to do,” and you begin to follow him. He does direct your paths, and it's a remarkable thing.
And one of the most remarkable things is, obviously, the children that he gives you. And my wife and I got married fully expecting children to come into the picture fairly quickly. That did not happen. We had our first miscarriage. We got married in the summer of ‘84, had our first miscarriage in, I believe it was, 1985. Then it was not long after that we began to realize we may be having trouble when it comes to having children.
And one doctor even told me after several years, “Just get used to it, you're probably not going to have children.” And I believe at that point that it's very important for the husband to really take the burden of that thing. And you know, the Bible says Isaac entreated the Lord. Intreated the Lord for his wife, Rebecca. And of course, the Lord heard Isaac's prayers. And I don't know how to explain it, I just sensed in my heart that God was gonna give us children in His time. Little did I know that from our marriage to the first child would be over 11 years, but I obviously realized that was God's perfect will.
We were obviously traveling, a lot going on in our lives. And we had five miscarriagesーmy wife and I did. We recognized again, as we worked through things, that having children was going to be a miraculousーof course, I believe it's a miracle no matter what, but ours was going to be a difficult situation, and we were going to need to seek God's intervention.
And there's several things I could say along the way, but one of my favorite stories is in probably 1988. We'd been married about four yearsーI'm guessing that's the right year. I called my uncle up. My uncle was at that time taking care of my grandmother who had been slipping in the arena of either Alzheimer's or dementia. When she lived with my aunt, I had more interaction with her, and she'd repeat herself. She tells stories twice, but she was still “Grandma” in the personality.
I remember calling him; I hadn't seen her in a while. He was taking care of her in Florida. And I called him up and said, “Uncle Bobby, would it be okay if I came and saw Grandma for a while?” And he said, “Well, Jim, I don't recommend it. She has gone downhill so badly, she won't know your name. She won't even seem like the same person. I would encourage you just to remember her as she is.”
But I'd wanted my grandmother to be able to pray for us that we'd have children. That's something that never occurred. And so I told him that, and he, of course, said she could still pray, but that's about all she can do, and she doesn't really even remember a lot of people's names, and whatever.
And he said she doesn't even remember God's name. She calls him “That good Fellow,” but she can still pray. It was quite an unusual situation because my grandmother was known for her prayer life, but her mental state had gone down that names were difficult for her.
But I said, “You know Uncle Bobby, I'd still like to meet with her.” So he arranged it. I remember coming into the room, and, I'll be honest with you, I was shocked... My grandmother was the shell of the woman I once knew. And I tried to explain who I was. “I'm Jim, your grandson, the third child of your son, Wayne….” I tried to explain it all. I could clearly see she wasn't getting it. We had a meal together. It was like sitting next to a strangerーa very odd thing.
But at the end I thought, ”You know what, I came here to get Grandma to pray. I'm told she can still pray, so I'm gonna try.” So I explained again who I was, and tried to explain the situation. And she prayed.
I don't remember being impressed by the prayer. I’ll be honest with you…I don't remember the prayer. But I do remember when she was done praying, it seemed like for about three seconds God let her return. Her little cute personality came back, and the way she turned her hand….
And she looked at me, and she said, “You've got it.”
And my uncle looked at me and said, “Jim, don't worry about that prayer; you're going to have children. I've never known my mother to say you've got it without God not answering that prayer in time.” And I just tucked that in the back corners of my heart.
And 1995 came around and my daughter Stephanie was born, in 1997 Janna was born, in 1999 Annaleese was born. I have three daughters.
And I remember in the early 2000s, my uncle had come up to Wisconsin to say goodbye. He just sensed in his heart he was not going to live very long. He was a paraplegicーwas in a terrible accident in his twenties; he lost use of his legs at that time. He was doing very well physically, but somehow he just sensed he needed to come say goodbye. It was not long after that he actually did go to Heaven.
But he was up in Wisconsin where we lived for a while. And I remember one of the conversations I had with him. I said, “Uncle Bobby, you remember when Grandma prayed we'd have kids and she said, ‘You’ve got it’?” And he said, “Yeah, I sure do.” He said, “Did I ever tell you what happened afterwards?” I said, “No, you haven't.”
He said, “After you kids left,” and he saidーthat's of course when I was a lot younger, when somebody called me a kidーbut anyway, he said, “After you kids left,” he said, “I looked at your grandmother and I said, ‘Mom, why did you tell the kids you've got it?’” And my grandmother looked at my uncle and said, “One, two. Maybe three.”
Sometimes I tease with my daughter Annaleese, “You're ‘maybe three.’” And I'm thankful that God let her be number three because she has been a tremendous blessing. I'm thankful for the children that God has given me, and they have been a tremendous blessing to me.
Sometimes, I don't know how to explain itーtheir lives are a challenge and a rebuke to me. And I realize that they each have a walk with God.
Let me just say a couple things about this, my journey concerning kids. One of the things my wife has done in raising our daughters is she really did, every day, as when they became cognitively able, gave them a time to spend time with the Lord.
At first it was very basic, even when they couldn't read. She gave them a picture Bible. But she began to teach them to spend time with God every day, and that has been a very important part of their lives, and I'm certainly grateful for it.
Also the ministryーthey've been involved in the ministry as we've traveled. They've been co-captains when they got older, but they’ve watched things happen. They attended campfire service and heard the testimonies. They've been a part of selling T-shirtsーjust the whole thing.
And the ministry itself, just being involved in that kind of ministry, I know has touched their lives, and I've been proud to see them continue on with a ministry heart. And they have been a tremendous delight to me, and I thank the Lord for each one of them. They're totally different, and yet they have tremendous skill sets, and they have different skill sets, and I'm thankful for their personalities.
And I tell them from time to time, “There's nothing I would change about you. Except your sin, that's it.” Because I'm so thrilled with how God made them. They've been a great delight to me. If I had any advice in child rearing, and I'm not any expert, I will tellーI tell young parents many times, “Well, love ‘em to death and don't let ‘em get away with anything.”
And I believe that's the way God is with us. “Whom the Lord loveth he correcteth.” He doesn't let us get away with anything, even “the son in whom he delighteth.” And that's the fact He loves us unconditionally. He delights in us. And it's in that context that He corrects us. And I believe that's the key to parenting as well.
And it's certainly been a delight to see these girls get a heart for ministry, have a heart for God. And I have considered parenting one of the great privileges of the human experience. And it continues to be a great blessing. And my daughters are a great blessing to me and an encouragement.
And I want to encourage you, young people, to be a blessing to your parents. You know, no parent is perfect, but you can be a blessing to them. Thankful. When there's something that comes to your heart that you can thank them for, thank them for whatever it is, because I know that will encourage them.
But it's a great journey in life, and one of the blessings of following the Lord is to see Him direct your paths. And one of those things is giving you exactly the right children at the right time. And I pray that now for my future generations, that the right children will be born at the right time.
About readyーmy oldest daughter is about ready to give birth to our first grandchild. That's Stephanie, and she's married to Ryan Swanson. Some of you listen to Satisfied. That's my son-in-law who does that. We're certainly proud of Ryan and proud of Stephanie and the ministry that the Lord is giving them as they're now moving, taking the next generation forward and reaching young people with Bible truth.
But just want to say to each person out here that: Trust the Lord; lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path. And it's a delight…just, you can'tーyou can’t outdo God. He does great things.
And I will tell you, young person, it's worth it just to be totally surrendered to the will of God and to be totally dependent upon His grace to live it. And you'll not regret following the Lord.
Find an issue in this transcript? Let us know at website@theegeneration.org.
Dr. Jim Van Gelderen is president of Minutemen Ministries, vice-president of Baptist College of Ministry, and evangelist out of Falls Baptist Church. He and his wife, Rhonda, travel the country in evangelism. They have three daughters.
