Paul Rains: Take your Bibles and turn to John 21. John chapter 21. I've enjoyed greatly preparing for this and dealing with this and it just struck me how big a deal this is.

I mean this what we're talking about today the matter of comparing and comparisons with other people and so on is really a day daily struggle for everybody. Now you might think to yourself well I don't really struggle with that But the reality is we all struggle with it. Now, some may struggle with it to a greater degree.

And that's a reality of life. We're going to talk about that some. But when it comes to comparison, and it really is a very biblical thing that we need to examine.

It's part of our sinful nature. And so there's a path out of it. And we're going to look at this this morning.

But John chapter 21, Jesus has this conversation with Peter. I'm sure we're familiar, many are familiar with that passage where at the end of the passage of John 21, Jesus is talking with Peter about feeding his sheep and he keeps asking him, lovest thou me over and over? And he's doing that, of course, for a reason.

And my point this morning is not to look at that particular part of the story. But in verse number 18, Jesus shares with Peter part of his future. And he explains to him in verse 18, John 21, verse 18.

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdest thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.

Now that sounds like coded language.

You might be like, what is he talking about? Well, he says in the next verse, this spake he signifying by what death he should glorify God. So Peter died a martyr.

This verse 18 was illustrating the death he was going to die. How would you like to be told what the way you're going to die? I mean, I don't think I would really like to know that.

I just let it happen, right? But Peter was told this. And after that, in verse 19, the last half of the verse, And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, follow me.

Jesus said, I don't know if Peter fully understood what Jesus was saying there and how he was going to die and so on. And I don't know if he put all the pieces together. Peter sometimes seemed a little slow at getting things.

But Jesus just reminded him, follow me. Verse number 20. Then Peter, and this is where we're going to be looking at.

Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following, which also leaned on his breast at supper and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee? Now, if your mind is thinking you should know the disciple whom Jesus loved, that was John, the apostle John. Peter, seeing him, saith to Jesus, Lord, what shall this man do?

Now, right there is a question of comparison. Okay, Lord, you just told me the way I'm going to die.

But what about that disciple? What about him? What is he going to do?

This is my text this morning. Verse number 22. Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?

Follow thou me. I love what Jesus told him there. He said, whether John lives till I come again, or some think it was past the destruction of Jerusalem, there's not real clear what Jesus meant.

But one thing it could mean was till he actually returns, if somehow he could keep John alive until Jesus comes again, he said to Peter, what is that to thee?

Just follow thou me. And so that's really what I've titled this morning. What is that to thee?

Follow thou me. This session, we're talking about comparison, rising above comparison. And here, again, we have Peter comparing himself with this other disciple.

I'm not sure all that was going through his mind, but Jesus' simple response to him was, what is that to thee? Follow thou me. Now, the reality is we live in a sinful body of clay, of dust.

We are fallen and we have tendencies as humans. One of the tendencies that we all have is the matter of comparison. It's part of our sinful nature.

Have you heard of the term keeping up with the Joneses? The mentality behind that is, you know, well, we see our neighbor, you know, they get a new car. So we need to get a new car.

Or they did this at their house. They got new roof or they got new siding. They got some upgrade.

And so we need to do that too. They need to keep up with the Joneses. Now, honestly, a lot of that is driven by the American dream.

We see someone that has something nice and then everyone else wants that. And I don't know about you, but maybe you're the type that when someone else gets a new iPhone, you're all of a sudden, man, my iPhone, it's one version too late now. And so I need to get the latest one.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Okay. Thankfully, I'm not that way.

I had an iPhone, the XR. So it was like the 10th generation or whatever. I had that for like seven years.

My wife kept telling me, when are you getting a new phone? When are you getting a new phone? I'm like, it works.

I can send text messages. I can get my email. I'm good.

But the reality is we all have areas in our life where we tend to compare. And so I want to look at a couple things that we need to recognize. If we're going to rise above comparison, if we're going to rise above and be victorious in this, then here's a couple things we need to recognize.

First of all, recognize our tendency to compare. Recognize our human tendency to compare. Okay, yes, it's part of our DNA as fallen man.

We're always concerned about what other people think or what they have that we don't have. Okay, there's a lot of aspects here, but you can see this all through Scripture, that this is a common human tendency for people just to constantly be comparing themselves with other things. What do they have that I don't have?

How did God make them that I don't have? What is something that they can do that I can't do? And we're always comparing ourselves with other people.

And I think part of that is just being human. Our minds and our hearts and our flesh always tends to go farther with it. We always tend to make it more than just, oh yeah, recognize the distinction.

I mean, we're all different, thank God. We all look different. We all have different strengths and so on.

And that's a good thing. We need to appreciate that. But what I'm talking about is something that plagues a lot of people.

They live a life constantly consumed with what other people have, what they are doing, how people think of them. They're always trying to compare themselves to the person next to them and put the other person down, lift themselves up. And so this reality of comparing ourselves among ourselves is something that we all deal with.

We see this all through Scripture. Many examples of people comparing it. Perhaps the greatest one that comes to mind is Saul.

Saul and David. How many times do we see Saul looking at David, comparing himself with David? Okay.

Yes, it's a human tendency. And if you're comparing yourself, looking at other people saying, well, they have a problem with comparison. Well, we need to look in the mirror because that is a reality.

And honestly, it's a struggle that a lot of young people face. When you can break free from that struggle, that weight of being constantly comparing to other people. Well, this, you know, it might be as simple as in class.

Someone gets a better grade than you and you compare. Well, they got a 98 on it and I got a 97. I got to do better.

Now, there's you understand there's an aspect to it where it's fine. OK, where, hey, if they got a 98, let's let's try to beat them. You know, I understand that.

OK. But it's when we get to comparing ourselves and it leads to other things. It leads to other issues that we will talk about here in just a moment.

I think of my children. I have five children, four boys and a girl. And you see this comparison all the time.

Mom, why did he get more cereal than I got? What is he doing? He's comparing the bowl of cereal, something so simple.

He got more. Or why did, you know, mom, you read him a book yesterday, but you didn't read a book to me today. So it's just constantly we're comparing ourselves.

And really at the root of it is a self-focus in so many ways. There's many different common comparisons that people have. Here's a few of them.

We compare achievements. Look at the things I've done compared to what other people have done.

We compare abilities. I can do this. Boy, this is a really a big deal.

I can do this. They can't do that or that person can do that. And so we're always trying to look for a better way, something that we're better than them in.

My situation, we compare our situations, you know, our home bringing, upbringing, our our different situations, financial situations. We're always comparing with other people.

We is. People compare their looks. They think, well, this person's better looking than me, or I'm better looking than that person.

It's a very subjective observation, right? We compare our righteousness to other people's righteousness. Look at me.

I do this, and they don't do that. I spend this much time with God each day, and they don't spend that much, right? You start to see how pervasive it can be in our thinking, this matter of comparison.

So many different things that we compare. Listen, preachers are prone to this as well. Preachers will compare their style, their ability to preach.

They'll compare, oh, look at how many people come forward in the invitation. Look how many people I led to Christ. Look how many programs our church is doing.

And there's if we're not careful, even preachers fall into this trap of comparison. I say even preachers. I mean, we're just as prone to it as anybody else.

Paul told Timothy, really, he was dealing with a matter of comparison when he said, be an example of the believer. Don't let anyone despise your youth, but be an example of the believer. Hey, yeah, you're young.

People are going to compare themselves and think, oh, you're young. You can't listen, whatever. Just keep going for the Lord.

So we all are prone to this. Parents become insecure when they start comparing their parenting abilities to others. They make decisions and they think to themselves, well, maybe I shouldn't have made this parent over here.

They made this decision, which was different than my decision. And boy, you can get a lot of comparison going on in that. Listen, the rest of your life, this is going to be an issue.

And you need to learn how to have the grace of God to overcome comparison in our life. Anytime you're prone to think about other people and what they have and what you don't have, you need to say what Jesus said. What is that to thee?

Listen, how does it help you when you analyze other people's lives and you see all the things that they have that you don't have? Or the things you have that they don't have? What is that to thee?

What is it to thee if that person has the latest iPhone and you don't, and your parents don't have a phone for you? What is that to thee? How is that?

Does that somehow drastically change your life? Okay, what is that to thee? So recognize our tendency to compare.

But notice, secondly, recognize the dangers of comparing. I want you to recognize the dangers of comparing. Friends, there are some serious dangers.

That come when we have a mindset of comparing ourselves among ourselves. One danger is the fact that you usually don't get the full picture.

You usually don't get the full picture. Now, we live in a day and age, and this is particularly true for our generation and your generation, is we live in an era of social media. And obviously, it's been around for a little bit now.

But what happens on social media? People project all sorts of things. They put out the highlight reels.

They project the greatest things going on in their life. But you know what you often don't see are the bad days. You don't see the hardships they're going through.

You don't see the difficulties and the failures. All you see are the glamour and the glitz and the lights, right? Okay, you're not getting the full picture.

And you know what a lot of people do? They make irrational decisions based on half the truth.

They say, oh, that person's on vacation again. Man, if I could just go on vacation again, if I could just have a vacation, that would solve things. And they make irrational decisions.

If only we could get a glimpse into the reality of these people's lives. Oftentimes, those very people that are projecting that, they're putting that out there, are screaming, I am insecure. I'm comparing with other people and I have to present this image that I'm somehow much better than other people.

And really, in a lot of ways, it can be insecurity deep down inside that they're trying to fulfill that need. So comparison, we live again, this social media time frame in which we live is so prone to just present one aspect of a person's life and not the reality.

How many times stories I've heard of people who, you know, on Facebook, everyone thinks their life is great and their marriage is great and their kids are doing great.

And, you know, if all you had was the information you saw on Facebook or other social media, you'd think, man, their life is just going great. And then everyone is shocked when they find out they're having a divorce or they find out that someone, that person committed suicide or is something other, some other tragic thing took place in their life.

Friends, it happens all the time because they live a life of comparing.

They want to project this image so people think of them more highly than they are.

You've heard the phrase, the grass is greener on the other side, right? Well, you know what? The reality is it might look greener, but there's some reasons for that.

There could be reason the fact that it's greener is because it's turf. It's fake.

And if you don't get up until you get up close and look, you realize, hey, that's just fake grass. That's no wonder why it's so green. It's green in the middle of the summer.

It's green in the winter. It's fake grass. So don't always think the grass is greener on the other side.

You know, for some people, the grass is greener on the other side because that's where their septic system is. Right. Or they have a dog that fertilizes that area of the yard.

Someone asked, and this is a true story, someone was struggling if they would look at their neighbor's grass and they said the grass literally looks greener over there, over at the neighbor's.

And so one day she went over to her neighbor's property and looked from the neighbor's house back at her grass and the grass in her yard looked greener. And she couldn't figure out why that was. And she asked someone.

And the person said the reason it looks greener from wherever you are on the other side of the fence is because. You're not close enough to see the dirt. That's the reality in a lot of people's lives you're not close enough to see the actual struggles.

And we can just compare and think oh they have it all together. Their life is just the best.

But if you just got a little bit closer to them and could see the dirt, could see the actual problems that they're facing. And that's one of the things we have to be careful is that we don't try to project this image that isn't reality. Now, I'm not saying we, you know, especially when it comes, I'm not a big social media fan, but it's not like we should air all our.

Some people go to the other extreme and they're airing all their problems. And you think, you know, the world is falling apart, you know, and it's the last doomsday, you know, it's the end.

But so we have to be careful about that. But remember, yes, the grass might look greener on the other side, but there might be a reason for that. I know personally, one of the things that I were, my wife and I were at a very busy stage of life.

Five kids, our oldest is about to turn 10. And any parents in here, you know that. That's a handful.

That's a lot. It's busy. And I have an older brother.

His siblings are, I'm sorry, his children are in high school. I think three of them are here this week. I don't see any of them in here.

They said, I'm not going to go hear my uncle preach. So that's why they're not in here. But anyways, they're at a stage where they're a little bit older and they can take care of themselves.

And sometimes I had to catch myself thinking, you know, when my kids are a little bit older, like my brother's kids, then it'll be a lot easier.

You know, then it'll be a lot easier because now they're in high school. I don't have to make sure they, you know, shower and I don't have to make sure they finish their food.

Maybe some of you are still at that stage where your parents have to remind you to shower. So maybe it's not, maybe I'm not reading that right. But you could be tempted to look at that and be like, you know, that would be an easier stage.

But every stage of life has its challenges. And maybe my brother's looking back at me and, boy, I wish my kids were younger like that because it was a lot easier. You know, they weren't becoming professional lawyers on me or something.

I don't know. Although my son, he's nine, he's getting pretty good at it. But the simple point is learn to embrace the moment you're in right now.

Embrace what God has. Again, what did Jesus say? What is that to thee?

What is it that to thee that this person has something else that you don't have? Now, I want you to, as we're discussing the dangers of comparing, again, we usually don't have the full picture. That's one danger.

And we can misjudge a situation. We can misread a situation. But comparison has some evil companions.

And I want to point out a few of the evil companions that comparison has. One of those is pride and boasting.

When we have a mindset that is constantly comparing with other people, there's a reason the Bible says it's not wise to compare ourselves among ourselves. Because it can lead to pride and boasting. Listen, every single one of us can find someone that in some way we're better than.

That people would objectively say, yeah, you're better at that or, you know, you have a better whatever. Okay, we all, and our human tendency is to find that. I think of the story of Luke chapter 18, the publican and the Pharisee.

Remember the Pharisee's prayer? He said, God, I thank thee that I'm not like that man, that sinner over there. You know, I pray thrice three times a day and I fast and I do all these things.

Friends, that is a little glimpse into the human nature. We compare and we will become proud and boastful.

That's a companion with comparison is pride and boasting. Another evil companion is insecurity. Insecurity.

Comparison produces insecurity in people's lives. Oh, how important this is. And I think this is the trap where a lot of young people especially get into.

They get trapped with insecurity. And it's because they're comparing. They're constantly looking at the other person.

Well, they have this. And this is, you know, the path they're on. This is their future.

This is their upbringing. This is all the things that God has blessed them with. And they start counting all the blessings of other people and not their own.

And it produces insecurity. We see examples of people in the Bible who had great insecurities. Rather than saying, what is that to thee?

Follow the Lord. I'm going to do what God called me to do. No, they start comparing themselves, and then they produce, it produces insecurity.

Can you think of a couple examples in the Bible of people with insecurities that said, God, I can't do that? Jeremiah said, I'm young. I'm just a child.

I can't speak. I can't talk. Moses said, I'm not a good public speaker.

God, you can't use me to do that. Listen, every person, when you encounter on the will of God and seeking to do God's will, the devil will use insecurities as you compare yourself with other people. You'll say, God, I'm not qualified.

Lord, there's other people that are more fit to do that. I'm not qualified to do that. And we compare and it produces insecurity to our lives.

And that insecurity can stagnate us. It can pull us down, can be a weight in our lives that just gets us on the sideline. All because we didn't say, what is that to me?

What does that mean to me, that they have this or that? Just follow the Lord.

Insecurity. How about this one? Another evil companion.

Covetousness. Jealousy. Discontentment.

Oh, boy. When we start comparing ourselves with other people, it produces covetousness and jealousy and discontentment. Friends, this is a huge issue today.

People constantly, you know, seeing the things of other people, what they have. And we have so many different foreign media ways to see what other people are doing and different ways to be jealous and discontent. But friends, there are people that are just plagued with discontentment and jealousy and covetousness And they look at the things that other people have and they just, boy, if I could just have that, I'd be happy.

You know, there's just this drive in them to constantly analyze what other people have. Let me tell you what, it is something sweet and refreshing when you're around people who are just content. They're just thankful for what they have.

You know, I've been around people and there's an example of contentment. You know, you see someone might pull up with a fancy car, you know, or whatever. And it's just, you know, they're still driving an old beater minivan.

And it just doesn't bother them. They're thankful it gets them from point A to point B. There's nothing in them that's like, man, I got to have that car.

If I could just have that truck, I'd be happy. We need to get to that place with the Lord's help where we say, what is that to thee? Hey, he drives a nice truck.

He drives a nice car. That's good for them. But God, thank you for what you've given to me.

Thank you for the abilities you've given me. You know, we can often look at other people and the abilities they have and count their blessings for them.

But we miss all the ones that God has given to us. What did Saul, when he saw David and the people were chanting, Saul has killed his thousands and David his ten thousands. Saul just couldn't handle that.

There was an insecurity there. He said, I can't handle that there's someone by me that's better than me. Have you ever been there?

You thought you were good at something, and then someone else comes along, and you realize, boy, I wasn't as good as I thought. That's happened to me many times.

And it kind of ought to humble us, but a lot of times people will run from that. They'll say, well, okay, I can't be the best in that, so I'm just not even going to do it. I'm just going to run.

I'm just going to do the things that I know I'm best at. And if someone's better than me, I'm not even going to try. That is insecurity.

That is us comparing and then produces pride. And there's things we won't do because I'm just, when I compare myself to other people, I don't measure up. And so I'm just not even going to try.

A lot of people miss the will of God for their lives because they're comparing and focusing on other people's lives. They miss out on what God has for them. Discouragement.

Another evil companion of comparison. Discouragement. People can look at other people and see all the things that are going on in their life and all the blessings that God has had given them or just the things going on in their lives, and then it produces discouragement.

Oh, I'm just, I'm not good enough. I just, I'll never have it that good. I just, the rest of my life is going to be misery because I'm not going to have it like my friend has it.

You know, our human mind can go to all sorts of places like that. And what we need to constantly go back to is, what is that to thee? Follow me.

Resentment is another evil companion. Resentment. People resent others.

They have it better. They might have some ability that they don't have, and they think they're better than them. And so it produces resentment.

We have to be careful about resentment.

Another one, excuses and disobedience.

When we start comparing ourselves will inevitably come up with excuses well I guess I I can't do that and a lot of people will miss the will of God they'll choose not to obey God because they look at somebody else see a gift or ability they have and well they'll say well God you can use they can do that I don't have that gift or ability and they compare themselves and they use that as an excuse not to obey God.

Friends, all of us are going to have opportunities to do this. I just talking personally here. I remember when I was called to preach, I was a 15 year old boy.

There's a very clear moment when after the end of a service, the Lord really got a hold of my heart and I surrendered to the Lord to preach. And it wasn't a huge surrender in the sense that I wanted to do that. My parents had trained us in a way that, and their burden for us was to serve the Lord in some capacity.

And so I wanted to preach, but obviously you still have to be called of God. And so I remember the Lord called me to preach and I surrendered to that. I was excited about that.

But you know what? This reality is, if I'm not careful, I can compare myself to other preachers and I can think to myself, well, I can't preach as good as they can preach. Or, you know, their schedule is more full than mine.

And so I could use that. My flesh, trust me, my flesh has brought that to mind before. You know what?

Maybe you should just do something else because there's other people that are better than you. You know what the response should be and must be is what is that to me? If their schedule is full, praise God.

If they get more opportunities than you do, praise God. If they are a better preacher than you, praise God.

What is that to me? This is what God's called me to do. Follow him.

So recognize our tendency to compare. Recognize the dangers of comparing. But finally this morning, and this is the answer, recognize the cure.

Recognize the cure for comparison. What is it? In this verse, it says, what is that to thee?

Follow thou me. The answer to someone who is plagued by comparison and living a life, always looking at other people and their blessings and just trying to be and being consumed to that is follow thou me. Follow the Lord.

Keep your eyes fixed on him. You know, this phrase here, follow me, is emphatic. It's like Jesus saying, you, Peter, just follow me.

Okay, stop worrying about other people. Stop worrying about John and how he's going to die. Stop worrying about what other people, I have a specific plan for them.

This is my plan for you. That's all you need to know. You know what the answer, the cure is follow the Lord.

Trust his goodness. Do you believe that God is good? Do you believe that he has a good plan for your life?

Do you believe that he has given everything you need to live a successful Christian life? And friends, sometimes perspective changes everything.

The fact that we have been redeemed, we're on our way to heaven, is enough reason to never, Lord, even if I've thought this in my mind, I would rather live 80 years of the most miserable existence and spend eternity with God in heaven than to have 80 years of bliss and just a great life than to spend eternity in hell. And if you're saved, that's your future is heaven.

Sometimes we live and we just get the wrong perspective of life where we're just consumed with the here and now. We get consumed and focused on our lives. And when our life is all about ourselves, when we're focused on ourselves, we will be plagued by insecurity, plagued by comparison.

And we won't accomplish the will of God. What if Peter just said, What if the Lord told Peter how John was going to die and live a long life? And Peter could have said, that's not fair.

That's not fair. I don't want to do what you've called me to do. Listen, God has a specific plan.

Hebrews 12 says, looking unto Jesus, the author of our, finisher of our faith. And then it says, run with patience the race that is set before you. Every one of us has a race that we are running.

And you know what we need to do? We need to focus on our lane, on our race, and the way you're successful in running that race is to stay in your lane and keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. The cure for comparison is to look up.

When you're looking around at everybody else, that's when the problem begins. You're tempted to compare. You're tempted to see other people's faults.

You're tempted to see their successes and it affects you. But if your gaze is fixed on Jesus, you're not looking at other people. You're just following him.

And I think that's what Jesus was getting at with Peter. And I think Peter probably had an issue with this because Jesus taught him this lesson several times. Remember Peter was walking on water and he said, Lord, bid me to come to thee on the water.

And Jesus said, come. And Peter gets out there and he starts walking on water. And you follow what he says, the story?

It says, as long as Peter kept his eyes fixed on Jesus, he walked on the water.

If you're plagued by comparison and insecurities produced by that, the solution is look up. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. What is that to thee?

Hey, you're in this lane running your race. What does it matter if the guy next to you is faster than you or slower than you? Just run the race that is set before you.

Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and run it with his strength and ability and dependence upon him. Friends, that is how we move forward for God, all how we need God's help in this matter.

Peter needed the Lord's help. As we follow the Lord, if we focus on that, if our eyes are fixated on him, They won't be fixated on other people. But when they're fixated on other people, then we're not following him.

And that's when we're going to be plagued by comparison and insecurity. As we close this morning, turn with me to 2 Corinthians chapter 10.

2 Corinthians chapter 10. Of course, the well-known passage, maybe you thought, well, this will be the verse he's going to deal with. Comparing themselves among themselves are not wise.

Of course, that's a great passage. But remember, this battle is in the mind. 2 Corinthians 10, verse 4, it says, For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

Friends, this is really a mind game. Satan wants you to get focused on other people, to see their abilities and strengths, and to lose the focus on what God can do through your life. So what do we need to do?

Do we need to cast out, imagine wrong thoughts, bring it into captivity? When we're tempted to compare, when we're tempted to use an excuse about, well, God, you gifted this person, so I can't do this because I'm insecure about something about my life.

Cast that thought out. Bring it into captivity. Verse number 12.

For we dare not make ourselves of a number or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves. But they measuring themselves by themselves and comparing themselves among themselves are not wise. Friends, get it in your soul.

God wants you to be focused on him. Be thankful for all that he's given you. Be thankful for the situations in life he's placed in you.

The trials in life that he gives you. Just focus on him and he will lead us through this life that we are in. And that's all about verse 17 and 18.

But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commended. At the end of the day, it's about getting to the end of our race, standing before the Lord and the Lord commending us.

We're not looking for the commendation of everybody else. If that's it, then we're just living a life plagued by comparison. It's about living a life that at the end of it, God will say, well done, thou good and faithful servant.

I have gifted you with these abilities. I've given you this home, this upbringing. I've given you circumstances of life.

Stop looking at everybody else's. What is that to thee? What is it to thee that they have those abilities and they have those opportunities in their life?

Run the race in front of you. Follow thou me. So what is the answer this morning?

Follow the Lord. Follow his voice. Follow his word follow his will for your life and you can live a victorious life overcoming comparison now I don't know what your insecurity or comparison is in your life that you struggle with but everyone has it everyone has it and the solution is what is that to me that other people have something you don't have follow thou me.