The Upside-Down Kingdom
Have you ever looked in the mirror and winced?
Maybe you noticed dark circles under your eyes or a zit that seemed to sprout overnight. Maybe you just didn’t like what stared back at you. You can grumble, sigh, or even scowl—but no matter what you do, the mirror isn’t to blame. It’s just showing you what’s already there.
Jesus tells us that sometimes God works like that mirror.
In Matthew 6:14–15, He says:
“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
At first glance, that sounds jarring. Does that mean God’s forgiveness is conditional? Isn’t salvation supposed to be free through faith in Jesus?
Yes, it is. And that’s the key to understanding this passage.
Judicial vs. Relational Forgiveness
When you trusted Jesus Christ as your Savior, your sins were forgiven once and for all. That’s called judicial forgiveness. Your record in heaven’s courtroom was cleared because Jesus paid the full penalty for your sins. Nothing can undo that. Romans 8:38–39 assures us that nothing—not even your future mistakes—can separate you from God’s love.
But that’s not what Jesus is talking about here.
This passage is about relational forgiveness. It’s not about your position in God’s family, but your fellowship with your Father. You can still be a son or daughter and have a strained relationship with your parent, right? The same is true with God.
When you hold onto unforgiveness—when you stew in bitterness or silently seethe when someone’s name is mentioned—your heart starts to grow cold. That coldness doesn’t just affect your relationships with people; it affects your closeness with God, too.
What Are Trespasses?
Jesus doesn’t use the word “sins” or “transgressions” in this verse. He says “trespasses.” The word carries the idea of a false step—a misstep. It may not even be a full-on rebellion. It’s more like the painful clumsiness of someone who messed up.
People around you are going to mess up. They’ll forget, misspeak, overreact, or just flat-out fail. And you will, too.
The question is, how do you respond when that happens?
Reflection Works Both Ways
Jesus paints a sobering picture: the posture you take toward others becomes the posture God reflects back to you.
If you are merciful, kind, and forgiving—even when it costs you something—God responds in kind. Not because you earned His mercy, but because your heart is aligned with His. There’s nothing clogging up the connection. No static. No tension.
But if you refuse to forgive, if you insist on holding the debt over someone’s head, Jesus warns that you’ll begin to experience that same coldness in your relationship with God. Not because God is harsh or petty, but because unforgiveness acts like a dimmer switch. It doesn’t change God’s light—it just makes it harder for you to see it.
It’s like looking into a two-way mirror with the lights off on the other side. All you can see is your own face staring back at you. Your own bitterness. Your own resentment. And it’s easy to start thinking that’s what God looks like too.
But He’s not like that.
He is gracious. He is compassionate. He is slow to anger. But if you choose to stand in the shadow of unforgiveness, you may miss out on the warmth of His presence.
What Can You Do?
You don’t need to fix everything right away. But you do need to start.
Begin by naming the person. Not “that situation,” not “that season of life”—a name. Then talk to God about it.
Tell Him: “I release this to You. I’m done trying to collect what only You can judge. I choose to forgive.”
Forgiveness doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you instantly trust the person again. But it does mean you’re refusing to chain yourself to their offense any longer.
And when your posture changes, your fellowship with God is restored. You begin to see Him clearly again—not through the fog of your own hurt, but as He truly is.
Gracious. Patient. Kind. All the time.
And when you show others that kind of forgiveness, you’re not just being like God—you’re making it easier to see Him again.
This Article is a part of a series
The Upside-Down Kingdom
Bobby Bosler is director of Thee Generation and pastor of Fellowship Baptist Church in Fairmont, WV. He, his wife, Abi, and their four children traveled the country for 14 years in evangelism, reaching teens with the gospel and conducting revival meetings.
Our words. AI polished. This article was adapted from the author's original content using AI. We’ve used technology to clarify and adapt the message—while keeping the heart and voice the same. All articles are proofread and edited by a human.
