Faith Talks host: Hello there, I’m Jana Faith.

And I’m Anna Faith.

And welcome to episode nine of Faith Talks.

So today we have here with us Mrs.

Royalty.

So yes, we are in the company of royalty.

And she is a pastor’s wife, a mom, and she’s done a lot of different speaking at ladies’ retreats.

And her church that she’s a pastor’s wife at is Broadview Heights Baptist Church in Ohio.

So she is here this week for the Youth Summit in Wisconsin, so we’re very excited to have her with us today.

Faith Talks host: I’m currently taking courtship applications for my oldest son.

So if you’d like to reach me…

Do you have a number?

I do, but I could leave my email at the end or something.

Okay, good to know.

Any opportunity to embarrass him, I take opportunity.

Guest: So today we’re going to continue our series on the fruit of the spirit.

And today we’re looking at temperance.

So Jana, what do you think, what is your definition of temperance?

Faith Talks host: Okay, so when my mom would do children’s meetings, she would always give a lesson on how temperance is self-control.

So that’s kind of what I think of, self-control.

Guest: Yeah, so to me, when I think of self-control, we often think of exercising restraint over yourself and what you want to do and forcing yourself to do what is right.

What do you think about that?

Faith Talks host: Well, when I think of self-control, one of the biggest things I think of is food because we all love food and I love chocolate.

So when I think of self-control, I think of chocolate.

I think of, you know, people just say like, oh, just stop eating if you want to go on a diet or something. just need to have self-control another thing I think of when I think of temperance is like the

Guest: temperance movement with alcohol like restraining from drinking that movement yeah I have some other thoughts like sometimes people are like when you get angry just stop being angry like have self-control over your anger or um another thing like doing your homework when you go home like have self-control and do what the hardest thing first so those are some thoughts I have about self-control and when

Faith Talks host: we were thinking about self-control, I was just thinking a lot about self.

Like it does seem like in the world’s definition of temperance, self-control, it’s all just works of self.

And we’re thinking, okay, this is a fruit of the spirit.

So it can’t be a work of the self, but it can’t be a fruit of self.

It’s got to be a fruit of the spirit.

Do you have any thoughts about that?

Yeah.

So I was

Guest: actually just looking up some biblical definitions on temperance and I found a Greek word, which I actually can’t, I never wrote it down and I can’t remember how to say it.

And I’m glad because Mr.

Bosler probably would say that I’m saying it wrong since I’m currently taking Greek, but it actually means inward strength that helps you to make the best choices.

So I was thinking about that, like, okay, inward strength, what is inward strength?

And as I was thinking, you know, you know, as Christians, we have Jesus inside us, we have the Holy Spirit.

And I’m like, you know what, that’s probably talking about the Holy Spirit.

We can’t just get self-control from ourselves.

There’s self-controlled about humans.

You know, it only comes from the Holy Spirit.

So self-control, you could transfer that to say spirit controls.

Temperance is spirit control.

Faith Talks host: That’s really good.

And one thing I think about is self-control.

It comes forth in actions, but it starts in the mind and in your thoughts.

And as I was talking to Mrs.

Royalty just last night, the battle of the mind is really something that God has taught her and just brought her on a journey of.

So if you could just share with us, Mrs.

Royalty, just a little bit of your story and just some different wrong thoughts the devil might have tried to use and just how God has

Faith Talks host: changed that.

Sure.

Well, I thought at first when you’re talking about all about self, I thought, well, that’s obviously why they thought of me and they wanted me to come.

So I actually was getting all excited about that.

And then you totally went spiritual with that.

So now I have to, yeah, I have to totally change my way of thinking.

But no, just joking.

I appreciate you having me. and it has been a battle for me.

It’s been a journey that I’ve been on regarding the battle for the mind, and I think especially as ladies, the battle is for our mind, and that’s where these seed thoughts and these lies take root.

And for me, I think it was very early.

I think I really had a desire to please, and I didn’t grow up in a Christian home, and I knew that I was loved, but I didn’t know that I was liked, and that was huge for me.

And I looked at God as a God that would die for me, but really didn’t enjoy me at all.

And I’m thankful that I put my faith and trust in Christ as a bus kid, five years old.

And I’m grateful.

And I remember when I trusted Christ as my Savior, in my Sunday school classroom, there was a picture of Jesus, the iconic Sunday school picture of Jesus with all the children, the red and yellow, black and white children all around him.

And I remember the look on his face in this picture.

I remember thinking, I desire to be with a God that loves me and would look at me the way he was looking at those children in that picture.

And that really has been my heart from that day till today, to really see that smile on his face for me.

And I continued to go to church.

And really, one of the biggest turning points in my life was in eighth grade.

I was going to church.

I was doing the good things, coming again from public school and coming from an unsaved home.

So I hadn’t made really huge decisions for the Lord.

I didn’t really have a group of really good friends.

And I don’t know what was special about that day standing in front of my locker, but I’ve shared it with all of my kids.

And I’d love to go back sometime to this specific spot because it really was the first time I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me personally.

I was getting something out of my locker, and the Holy Spirit said, would you set yourself apart for me?

And I’m telling you, just as sure as I’m sitting here, I thought to myself, this is the God of the universe, and he’s coming to me, this nobody kid from Brunswick, Ohio, in this public school, and he’s asking me to set myself apart for him.

And I remember thinking, if God could use me, and he would desire to even know me in any way, I’ll give anything up for him.

I’ll do anything for him.

And really what he was asking me was to begin a process of sanctification.

And I say that because at this time in the public school, I didn’t know anything about how to dress and how to be modest and what to do.

But I remember a friend helping me sew two jumpers.

That’s what I had.

And I wore them every other day.

Faith Talks host: And I cleaned them sometimes.

I wore them every other day.

And to me, that was the first step in.

I heard his voice.

I want to live for him.

I’m just going to ask him to show me what he wants me to do.

And that began really the battle between listening to the voice of God and the voice of the devil speaking lies to me.

And again, this was not from a sermon preached.

This wasn’t from some series that my church had gone through.

This was the Holy Spirit just directly coming to me saying, Dig into my word.

I have a plan for your life.

And through a series of events, I was able to go to a Christian high school, 10th, 11th, and 12th, paid my way through.

Praise the Lord, he enabled me to pay my way through there.

And then headed off to college.

And again, my whole heart’s desire was just to seek the Lord, just to know what he would have me to do.

And I really fell into the burnout for the Lord, I guess, culture. that at that time was there, maybe not even spoken to me, but just implied.

That’s really what I thought I was supposed to do, that again, I knew God loved me, died for me, but I’m not sure he likes me.

If I work really hard for him, I’m really going to get that smile of approval.

So that’s what I continue to do.

I met my husband in college, and then when we were married, we both, you know, we’re just going to burn out for the Lord.

We’re going to work as hard as we possibly can.

And that’s really what I began to do.

And we took charge of this ministry and this ministry, and we had this child and just kept busy and this bus route.

And as long as I could do something for the Lord, I was valuable.

And it really kept all those thoughts of worthlessness away.

But after my fifth child was born, I, through a series of extended illness, I wasn’t able to do what I had done before because I started having these fainting spells and the fainting spells brought this panic and the panic was so strong that I was fearful of being in the nursery or being on the bus route or doing going on visitation and that really led to a spiral of defeat and discouragement because I was no longer profitable for the Lord.

And that is really where I struggled to control my thoughts, my mind.

And it was really a cycle of I couldn’t work to be worthy.

And I had panic because I was struggling physically.

And at the time, there really wasn’t a lot of understanding of what a panic attack was?

Was it, you know, be anxious for nothing?

Did it fall underneath that?

Was this sin?

Was I struggled with so many discouraging, defeating thoughts?

And I had absolutely no discipline at all.

I had no self-control of my mind at this point.

I, you know, hid it as best I could and just pressed on because I had to get God’s approval.

And I think that’s interesting that,

Faith Talks host: like God brought you to the end of yourself.

Absolutely.

Because it was like up to that point, it sounds like you could, you could do it by yourself.

You know, you could do the right things, you could please the right authorities.

And I think that’s so often we don’t realize how we’re so self-dependent till God just pulls out the bottom from under us and we realize, wow, I can’t.

And then that’s when, you know, you can, you turn to the Lord because you realize I have, I have nothing else.

But then you realize, too, he’s all that I need.

So then how did that kind of transfer?

What’s the victory part?

Faith Talks host: Yeah, so in God’s providence and mercy, he moved us to a tiny church in the corner of a cornfield in upstate New York.

And I joke that, you know, if you had a full set of teeth and you could make a good pan of brownies, you were like pastor’s wife of the year, which is exactly where I needed to be at that time in my life.

So God moved us there, and the panic came along with me.

It was packed right along in our U-Haul with me, and I struggled.

I continued to struggle, and I found two gals right around my age who knew the Lord, and we began to go on walks in the woods, and one on one side, one on the other.

And they had listened to me for several weeks really struggle and expressed to them that I just wasn’t doing enough for the Lord.

I just needed to do more, and I was feeling so defeated in that.

And they called me out on it on a walk, and one of them said, you know, Dina, do you know how much God loves you?

I mean, do you really know how much God loves you?

And I broke down.

I think I had focused so long and so hard on not ever gaining his approval that I had really forgotten how much he loved me.

And that combined with a situation where, you know, my husband had hurt me in a deep way.

I mean, we were struggling.

Our ministry was struggling.

Our marriage was struggling.

We were just struggling at all points.

And what I had done with my husband, which did not help my situation and my thought life at all, was I had put him up on this pedestal that’s reserved for those who grew up in a Christian home.

He knew the books of the Bible before second grade.

He knew all the things.

And he had grown up with such discipline.

He never doubted God.

And he was quick to trust and obey.

And I just felt like I could never attain to where he was.

And part of what attracted to me in college was, boy, I see the life that he has.

And that’s the Christian life that I wanted.

But I didn’t realize that when he fell off that pedestal, it was what I needed at that time.

And he’s not here, bless his heart, but he would say the same thing.

We’ve shared our testimony many times that it wasn’t healthy for me to put him on that pedestal.

And it wasn’t healthy for me to feel like I could never attain to where he was spiritually.

And so those two things, me struggling with really understanding and resting in God’s love and this disappointment brought us to the point where we realized we both were so dependent on God we were not going to make it without him and that was huge God used those two things to begin to heal my heart and my wounds that I had and I was struggling with that would not allow me to really take my thoughts captive and the verse at that specific time I want to share and there’s a long history with this verse I don’t have time to mention but Zephaniah 3 17 says the Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty he will save he will rejoice over thee with joy he will rest in his love he will joy over thee with singing and a book was given to me I found this verse I latched onto this verse I wrote this verse in soap on my mirror until it actually stained the mirror and I couldn’t even get it off.

This verse made me excited.

This verse made me mad.

This verse is the verse that God used to really start to retrain my brain and to discipline my brain to understand, of course, God rejoiced over my husband.

I mean, I rejoice thinking about my husband.

He’s an amazing man, but does God rest in his love for me?

And this began a real self-discipline journey mentally me to claim by faith what I knew everybody else had in the whole world except for me.

The lie that the devil had sold me is that you’re going to work as hard as you want.

You’re never going to be as good as your husband.

You’re never going to be as loved as that person.

So this really was a huge changing point for me.

Faith Talks host: That is really neat.

I think of, I was thinking of how God resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.

And it was like when you and your husband both reached that point of even just, I remember you mentioning last night that when you came into that new church, you were just right away open and

Faith Talks host: honest with the ladies.

Oh yes, I just went, they welcomed me.

I mean, we’re talking like minutes walking into this church, and there were a group of ladies, and the men kind of congregated over to the right, and they were talking about things, and they were welcoming me, and I went up to this one lady who just looked gracious, and I said, hi, I’m Dina.

I have panic attacks, and I mean, where else would you ever start a conversation like that but that that’s exactly where I was I mean we’re talking like completely transparent this is me just so you know what you’re getting because I really thought I can’t put on any show anymore I can’t I have no I have no strength to hold up and so this is really where I’m struggling and I remember she just wrapped her arm around she’s like oh my my son has those come on come sit with us over here you know and it was just the cutest thing it was very very special.

And that time was a time of real healing for our marriage and expectations that were there, things that physically we couldn’t do.

We needed God to work in our marriage.

We couldn’t hold it together.

And I love that in Colossians, Jesus says that he’s before all things and by him all things consist.

I mean, he’s holding us together if we allow him to, if we submit to him.

So he was doing a work in our marriage and he was doing a work really in my mind.

And as I trained my mind, those panic attacks began to be less and less frequent.

Of course, I don’t want to be remiss to not mention that there was a physical issue that was going on.

There was physical illness that had led to this.

But what happens a lot of times with panic and panic attacks in specific is that we allow something physical to start a fight or flight response and then we’re almost captive to that response anytime something happens.

And science has shown and God’s word teaches us that we can retrain our mind.

It’s a long road.

I wish I could tell you, but I don’t struggle with those anymore.

I do.

In fact, God has been giving me a verse for the year every year.

And this year, right around Christmas time, I was just praying, Lord, what verse do you have for me this year?

What am I setting my sights on?

And in the middle of the night, I woke up with a panic attack.

Again, I’m reading my Bible.

I’m walking with God.

This is something my body’s trained to do, unfortunately.

And so I work with it.

We all have weaknesses.

And I woke up in the middle of the night.

I was laying on the floor in this dirty hotel room that we had packed all of our kids into to go visit family for Christmas.

And God said, this is your word.

Your word for the year is fearless.

I’ve not given you the spirit of fear, but of power and of love. and wait for it, a sound mind.

And I told the Lord, Lord, I’m 43 years old.

I’m laying on this carpet with a panic attack in the middle of the night, and you’re giving me the word fearless.

Lord, I’m the least fearless person I know.

I mean, when I think of fearlessness, I think of like some lady with a mohawk and cut off sleeves.

She’s running into an animal shelter, and she’s like saving all the animals.

I’m like, I can’t even stay in my bed.

I’m laying on the floor in a panic while all of my kids are sleeping around me.

And he said to me, can you fear less in this moment than you did two minutes before?

And I said, oh, by faith I could.

Can you fear less today than you did yesterday?

I said, well, by God’s grace, I can.

And that is what it looks like for me to be self-disciplined in my mind.

That’s the journey that it’s been for me.

And I want to leave anybody listening who’s gracious enough to listen with Jude 21 that says, keep yourselves in the love of God.

To me, that has really been an exciting verse for me, but it holds a lot of hard work for me.

And we know that faith comes by hearing, hearing by the word of God.

Do I believe that I can keep myself in the love of God by his grace?

And I do.

I do believe that, but it is hard work.

If you have to keep yourself in the love of God, that means you could fall out of the love of God.

You could not understand his love and his grace and his mercy.

So it’s been a struggle.

It’s still a struggle.

But by God’s grace, I believe there’s victory to be had.

Faith Talks host: Well, amen.

Thank you so much for sharing one thing when you’re talking about keeping yourself in the love of God.

I was thinking of just how it’s just an ongoing thing.

And I think so often we look for, oh, one day when I’m perfect or one day when I’m like this amazing Christian, then I’ll walk with God.

But God wants us to just keep renewing our mind and just keep even bringing those thoughts into captivity to the obedience of Christ, just taking those steps.

I think that’s amazing just to see your journey of how God brought you from, you know, a bus kid to a pastor’s wife.

Like you said.

Miracles still happen, folks.

Exactly.

And it wasn’t like even one big message or anything, But it was just the Holy Spirit and just his power to bring you upon that journey and just give you, you know, small steps to take along the way to bring you to where you are now.

Faith Talks host: That’s what’s so sweet is it was the Holy Spirit.

And it still is the Holy Spirit.

And in Psalms, it talks about it was, I was glad that I’ve been afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes.

And I honestly can say that.

I can say I’m glad that I got so low physically that I needed to learn how to control my mind through the Holy Spirit’s control.

And I’m grateful.

Faith Talks host: And for those of you who maybe heard last week’s podcast, just with Mrs.

Biggs losing her leg, I was even thinking of the similarity with both just physical things that you didn’t really have control over, but God was able to use those to put you at a point of weakness so that he could show forth his strength.

Guest: Yeah, and just going, thinking of your testimony, I think a lot of just how God taught you that self-control was by you just taking God’s word by faith and seeing how much he does love you and just all the scripture that is true and just taking that by faith.

I was even thinking, even with counseling some girls this week, some of them were like, well, how do I do this?

Like, how do I get victory over panic attacks or whatever else you may be struggling with?

And I was thinking back to this summer, I was actually listening to a history podcast with my brother and one of the soldiers when he was a young kid, there was this one thing on the farm that he couldn’t do.

And he comes to his dad and he says, dad, how do I do this?

And his dad says, do it.

That’s how you do it.

And so just like that, do it.

That’s how, and how do I, how do I believe God?

How do I get victory over this?

And of course, God will give you the wisdom, but just believe his word and do what his word says.

And that’s how you’ll get victory over anything you’ll struggle with.

So I feel like that’s really important when you’re thinking about temperance, that self-control, that spirit control, just taking God’s word by faith.

And of course, our podcast is Faith Talk.

So just believing, okay, God, you can do anything.

And I believe your word.

And so I think that’s another important

Faith Talks host: thing as we think about temperance.

I think there’s a need for transparency in this issue to say, you know, you may struggle with wrong thoughts.

You may struggle with this.

You may struggle.

I struggle with the panic that can come from not controlling my thoughts.

There’s a physical element, yes, but there’s also a spirit control element, and I’m grateful for that.

And I’m, I just, I’m so in awe that in eighth grade, the Holy Spirit would allow me to hear his voice so that I would know what he sounds like, so that I could differentiate what the devil is saying to me and what he’s already told me.

And of course, as I’ve mentioned, you know, getting into God’s word, it’s been invaluable to me.

It’s a washing of water by his word that cleanses our hearts and mind.

So I’m grateful.

I’m grateful.

And I’m grateful that faith is just taking God at his word, saying, God said it.

I believe it.

I will act in obedience.

I can have self-discipline.

Faith Talks host: And thank you so much just for even being honest with us today.

I know some of that maybe wasn’t super easy to share, but that’s, I’m sure, a huge blessing to our listeners.

And I was thinking of the verse that if, where God says, if my people, which are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray.

And I think that is often the first step just to admit, I have a problem.

I’m not perfect.

God, I can’t do this.

And if there’s any of you out there who need help in any area, you can always feel free to email faithtalks at thegeneration.org.

And we’d love to connect you with somebody who could help you in any way.

But mainly just taking that to Jesus and talking to him about it because he knows exactly where you are and what step he next has for you.

So thank you so much for coming.

Thank you for having me.

I think your little courtship thing at the beginning must have worked because I literally heard, was it three phone dings go off during this recording?

Faith Talks host: Keep those cards and letters coming, please.

Faith Talks host: Please include a picture.

Maybe somebody looked up your number online and already got a hold of you.

That’s, wow, some aggressiveness out there.

Faith Talks host: It’s a shameless plug, but I do write usually once a week at dinaroyalty.com.

So my goal is to remind you that you’re probably not the worst case scenario.

I’ve probably done it worse and longer than someone else has.

So if you would love some encouragement, I’d love for you to stop by and just be encouraged.

Faith Talks host: And is that your blog?

It is.

Okay.

Faith Talks host: It’s my own domain that my husband bought me for Valentine’s Day.

That’s a whole other podcast episode at DinaRoyalty.com.

Yes, ma’am.

Faith Talks host: I need to do that.

I heard about it, but I haven’t.

Please like and subscribe.

Okay.

Okay, advertisement’s done.

Well, thank you so much for coming and sharing your story.

Praise the Lord.

Guest: Yes, that was very encouraging.

So girls, just going forward, just remember in your fight for being self-controlled or spirit-controlled, remember that it takes faith.

And remember, faith doesn’t just talk.

Faith walks.