Ryan Swanson: Welcome to the Thee Generation Podcast. This is Ryan Swanson. And we're standing here live for, I think, the third annual live podcast here at the Thee Generation Youth Summit 2024. And I'm looking at, I don't know, probably, what do you say, 60 to 70 in here? It's a pretty good group, and they're still filtering in. So appreciate everyone that's come out here. If you're just tuning in and joining us via the podcast, I'll explain to you what I just explained to them. We're going to have a Q&A time in just a bit. We have a threefold purpose to this podcast. if we can get to all of them in the short time that we have, about 25 minutes. So we want to wrap up the previous episode or the series that we did, and then we'll do a Q&A session. And then finally, with the time that we have remaining, we'll introduce the coming series.

So who can tell me can raise their hand and give me the title of the last series that we did? it was on pornography what was the title? —he even said it that's a hard word the prerequisites of pornography i'm still open to other suggestions for a better word than prerequisites because i trip over it every time you don't know when i'm recording the podcast how many times i have to hit stop and bring back and try to say that again uh but yeah it's a tricky word so i've had some other suggestions come in. I just don't feel like any of them have quite fit as well as what I've wanted.

So that has, yes, the prerequisites of pornography, specifically talking about three different areas that are essentially three different battlefronts in our battle for purity, that if we don't face and deal with all three of these areas, if you just pick one of the three, the devil's going to get you in the other two, or pick two of the three, and he's going to get you in the other one.

And so who could tell me, let's just do one. Someone give me one of those three areas.

I see some hands going on. Do you know? Yes, isolation. Okay, that's the last one.

Another one. Someone got it. Yes. Availability, yes.

And then desire, availability, isolation.

Now I'm going to read you real quickly because I told you actually last week was supposed to be our podcast recapping that series, and I ended up in Asheville flying drones doing search and rescue missions up there, so I was not able to get that podcast up with all the hurricane stuff going on, so I want to kind of combine that in here.

Now, I did want to read a quick testimony from someone who sent this in, as I requested last time, just to explain what was helpful about that series to them, how it impacted them. And I mentioned that on the last podcast that we do this, so I'll just read this one.

This gentleman says, "The podcast Don't Be Arrogant," that was either our second to last in that series, "was particularly helpful to me because it summarizes the journey the Lord has been bringing me through and is a culmination of purity truths. After some failure in high school, I was so excited to go to Bible college where I thought I would grow up, become a man, and put these childish purity failures behind me. Though I had a few major setbacks my freshman and sophomore years, the truth is—it worked. My college environment pointed me to Christ. I desired Him more than anything and became addicted to spending consistent time with the Lord. As my desire, remember that one, as my desire for Christ grew, so my desire for impure things lessened. So much so that I went for almost five years without a viewing failure and hardly a physical failure. The battle became minimal and the devil seemed to let go of attacking me. However, the victory, although completely genuine, only fostered an attitude of arrogance. I truly thought I had kicked purity failure and I didn't expect to face it again. I grew very arrogant because I had found the cure, a love relationship with Jesus, And the devil shifted his aim from my purity towards bolstering my arrogance. The fact is, arrogance is a simple, brash form of pride, and pride is the exaltation of self."

So he goes through and explains more about the role that humility has in this battle, which I thought it was a great point that he brings up. But then he, let me pick up a little bit later.

He says, "Humility is the self-life utterly shattered and broken. We think the battle is with impure thoughts, viewing, and actions, but the battle is simply with self. Humility then bows before the whole counsel of God, whereas arrogance takes one aspect of victory to exalt itself. After college, the Lord went to work on my self-life. He crushed me with a removal of His presence, a disease, and an academic failure which was new to me. These trying times allowed the devil to shift back his aim towards my purity because I had only learned the effectiveness of the desire area."

He says, "I didn't have the proper protection on my devices set up, nor the accountability to know where I truly was at. When my walk with God fell on hard times, the desire part, there were no more barriers against the temptation. I then had some relatively large purity failures in all three purity areas spread out over the following years. Thankfully, the Lord has protected me from full-out habitual indulgence, but the habit has been harder to break this time. This is why Ryan's podcast so resonated with me. I am now in the process of taking significant measures in all three areas mentioned, and I'm seeing remarkable victory. God has been rooting out the core self with the cure, the whole counsel of God."

Now, that phrase, the whole counsel of God, he's referring to, was really our byline for that podcast when, by arrogance, we take one thing that we think, okay, I've kicked it because of this. I found the quick fix to my purity. And we become arrogant because I have this one thing, whether that's desire. We're saying just because I love Jesus, I'm not going to fall into this. And so I don't need to lock down my devices and I don't need accountability. Or maybe somebody has, they've locked down their devices, but they think because I've locked down, I'm not worried about my relationship with the Lord and I'm not worried about accountability. Or maybe someone gets the Cord app, so they have the accountability, but they say, I've got accountability, so I don't need to lock down my devices. And I'm not as worried about my relationship with the Lord. and unless we take into account the whole counsel of God, because all three are Bible, then we're going to fall. The devil's going to get us in one of the other areas.

So that's the summary of the last series and if you haven't listened to that, you need to go back and listen to it. We're not going to go through the whole thing now.

Alright, so now that we've covered that, let's go ahead and move on to, what do you think? Should we do the Q&A next or should we save that for last? Maybe we should do it next, actually, because I think this is the most important thing we're doing.

Okay, here we go. I'm just going to start right in. We're not going to do a lot with picking and choosing. We're just going to get right into these, okay?

So the first one here, this is a doozy, starting out with. Are wearing pants as a woman a sin, and then almost as a parenthetical at the end, based on the Bible only?

Okay, we could spend the whole time on this. This is the problem. This is good stuff, though, the good stuff.

So there's no way that we can answer every one of these fully comprehensively, but we'll do the best we can. And also, I claim complete right to say, I don't know. Okay? Get back to me later. With my youth group, that works really well, because I could say, we'll talk about it next week. Come back next year, right? I don't know. Ask your pastor. That's what I'm going to say.

For this one, though, it's a great point, and I think it's a discussion that needs to be made. It all comes down to really, and Steph maybe should be the one speaking on this as a woman, but it comes down to the Old Testament verse that does not permit women to put on things that pertain unto a man.

Now, that in the very statement is obviously subjective to culture. What pertains to a man? And so you have to ask yourself that.

For me in my home, I will tell you that still based on the surrounding and culture we see, that pants still pertains unto a man in that there is a clear distinction. I understand that you don't necessarily just see someone in pants and know they're a man. There's not that much of a clear distinction anymore.

But when I see a skirt on my wife, I know she's a woman. If I see a skirt on anyone, hopefully, I know they're a woman. so there still is a distinction there's an undeniable distinction and I think according to that verse if God feels so strongly on it that he requires and it's a command there do not put on things that pertain to a woman and same for the man pertaining to a woman don't do that, don't go there well hey, if there's any gray area let's err on the side in my home we're erring on the side of saying yes, there still is a distinction let's be careful in that way.

Alright, good move on to the next one. You can be looking through. Next one. Okay. It says, how to, okay, I'm going to rephrase this because I don't think they meant to say it that way. "How can I stay pure with God and my parents?"

That's why we're here, right? That's a very broad discussion with God and my parents. Let me focus on that aspect because maybe they're targeting that a little bit more. What role do our parents have in our accountability? Anything? Yeah, big time.

Now, I appreciate the previous session, and we're going to be dealing with that more tonight. That doesn't mean our parents are our God to us. God never intended for them to be everything to you. Because then when they fail and something happens, your whole world comes crashing down. That's not how it was intended to be.

You need a relationship with God. He's going to be the end and the means of your purity. But parents do have a big role.

I think in years past, we focused on confession a ton, as in this was the answer for our purity. And our preaching was geared in towards a lot of, you know, it would present a lot of guilt to the individual who is in impure viewing habits and things like that, and rightfully so.

So there's a lot of guilt that then the call to action would just be, you need to tell your parents or you need to go tell the counselor.

Now, confession does not equal victory, but it always starts there. Okay? Remember that. It does not equal victory, but it always starts there.

So the reason that's important to remember is because when you go and finally unload the truck to your parents, as probably many in here have done, and you unload the truck, or maybe you haven't, and it's the first time you're looking at, Do you think you're going to feel good after that and encouraged or bad and discouraged? Encouraged, okay?

Now, if you haven't done that, maybe you wouldn't know. You think that's going to be the worst day of my life. Well, yeah, it's not that it's easy, but I'm telling you, the reason is because you just took that burden and you shared it with your parents. Do you think that their burden just got heavier or lighter? Heavier. They're sharing the load with you, okay?

And for many of the parents represented by the children in here, They're ready and willing to do that. They want you to do that.

However, just because you feel great because you passed that load onto someone else doesn't mean it's all fixed and all done. You see, the battle's just begun there. Your journey's just started. And that's a lot of what we're dealing with here.

So it's a great way to bring parents in.

I think Stephanie's also going to be maybe combining some of these that are similar. You did that last time. Good. Okay.

"How much do you see movies affecting people's purity, even family-friendly movies, if you've seen them affecting too? Family-friendly movies."

When we get people on the court app, we don't just rate ourselves as far as we did great or we had an absolute failure in viewing pornography. There's a scale that we rate ourselves on. The reason is because there's a whole lot of steps that you pass through before you end up in relapse. And one of those, for many of us, comes in our entertainment choices.

When we become accustomed to things that maybe the first time you saw it or heard it or whatever, was, oh yeah, I probably shouldn't be doing that. But then as you justify it in your mind and hear it more and more, well, so-and-so does it and they watch that movie, so what's the big deal? Yeah, it kind of turned me on in the wrong way, but I mean, other people are doing it and it doesn't seem to be affecting them. So maybe it's just, I just need to get over it.

Nuh-uh. That's the Holy Spirit tugging at your heart. And yes, even, how would you define family-friendly movies? Because it's all by a different standard, right? And you've got to decide for you and your home what that's going to be.

But I was talking to someone a couple years ago who had, in his family, grown up watching movies. And we were talking to him right after a message Dr. Jim had preached on it and made the statement, "You're going to run out of innocent movies really fast. Really, really fast." And I talked to this individual afterwards. He says, you know, that's totally true. That's totally true. You watch a few and they're like, okay, maybe that's not so bad. but then it's like, now what? And it's not that the movie department nowadays is getting any cleaner. All right.

Good. Next up, "What should you do if you are struggling with emotional purity and can't get your mind off of someone?"

I'm actually gonna defer to my wife on this one because I'm sure she struggles getting her mind off me. Oh. That's right. No, I'm gonna defer to her she mentioned a principle and a truth that was, I thought was profound, that was helpful for her. Whenever she noticed something in a guy going through college, you know what I'm referring to? Take it away.

Stephanie Swanson: Okay. Well, as you go through college as a girl, you, I think I'm sure guys are the same.

Ryan Swanson: Or high school.

Stephanie Swanson: Yeah, high school. Yeah. As you start getting older, you start noticing the opposite gender and appreciating different things about them. And it's very easy just when you appreciate something about somebody, you start appreciating them as a person and focusing on them. Like, okay, is this the right one? Is this going to be a, you know, your mind can go a million miles. It can go so far. So what was really helpful for me is actually just flipping that around and saying, what is this teaching, what is God using this to teach about me? What am I appreciating in a person? And that being something that God's preparing in my heart that I will need in a future spouse. So it's not focusing on that person or this guy, you know, whatever, but it's focusing on what's God's teaching about me and what I am going to need in a future relationship.

Ryan Swanson: I think that's a great, great point. Just because you notice something in someone that you appreciate doesn't mean they're God's life mate for you. It's okay to say, hey, there's a trait that I appreciate, and maybe someday God would have that in his spouse for me. And let's tuck that aside. But that doesn't mean so-and-so that has that trait, and maybe doesn't have any others, is the one. So being able to separate the things that you appreciate about someone from the actual person themselves, I think that's a great point and could be very helpful if we get a hold of it, girls and guys alike.

Okay, I'm going to read another one here and you get another one ready for me, okay?

"What is the key to consistent victory?"

Once again, something not only a broad question, but also subjective. One question I get asked a lot, and I think we might have had it last time, and there's probably one in the pile now, that is how long do you have to be pure before you, and then it's worded different ways, but before you're in victory or before you've kicked it or whatever? Because everyone in here wants to kick it. You're tired of fighting this, right?

So if we were to go to Ephesians chapter 6, We're told in a discussion on the armor of God in the latter part of the passage, in verse number 13, "Wherefore, take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand," that's stand against, okay? It's standing against, it takes some effort involved. That's the hand-to-hand combat that many of us in here understand. The blood, sweat, and tears involved in a purity battle, okay? "…so that you may be able to, Wherefore, taking you to the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand."

And that verse is very intriguing to me because it uses a different word at the end. It's not stand against. It's just stand. But he doesn't say, and having done all, to sit down. Right? We talked about that either in the last, I think it was the last episode on the choice that we talked about. It was huge, huge truth. You've got to listen to that.

But the point is that there is hope that there's coming a day when if you will follow the Lord in this purity journey, that there is hope of a time when it's not the hand-to-hand combat you're facing right now. That doesn't mean we take the armor off and have a seat. It may not look like the stand against hand-to-hand combat, but we're still standing.

It says, "having done all," as we look around, we can't see, man, has the devil given up? I can promise you he hasn't. But it may appear, it may feel that way, and hey, if he wants to give us a little reprieve, I'm all about it, right? And that day is promised. Many of us now are probably in what's referred to as the evil day, the withstanding, okay? But there is hope on the other side of that.

So, when the question is asked, how long do you have to be pure in order for you to be able to say you've kicked it, Or to be completely free from it? I think it's the wrong question.

Honestly, I think that's what the devil wants you to be asking. Now, I'm not accusing anyone of asking or saying it's your fault. Because we all want to know that.

But the devil wants you to think at any point, man, if I go three months, let me tell you what happens a lot of times. Someone will go, they'll hit their first 30 days of no failure in any area. And they get so stoked about it, they think they've kicked it. And then sometimes they'll never hit that 30-day mark again. "Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall." Alright, it's a dangerous place to be in.

So instead of focusing on how many days have I been pure, or how many months, or how many years, in that way, why not keep an eye on those three areas? Because this is the testimony I just read to you. Five years, he thought he had kicked it, and he let his guard down.

In those three areas, man, here's what consistent victory looks like. I'm going to keep my devices locked down. I don't need that stuff. I'm going to keep it locked down. I'm going to keep accountability going in my life because I'm not above this, okay? And I'm going to keep my relationship with the Lord going, number one. All right, we've got to move on here. Is it 20 after we're supposed to be done? Yes, yeah. So five minutes.

Sweet Christmas. Can you all come back? This is crazy. Okay, well, we're clearly not to get to all of these. Just give me the best ones, okay? I'm working on it. All right. Are you going to sell polos? Thanks, Steph. I just had someone ask me that. I really want to. I think we're going to try to clear out our T-shirt inventory. And then how many would think it was the right decision to no more T-shirts, just polos? Okay, okay.

How many say both? How many? I don't care. Oh, come on. That's what I thought because we were not getting all the hands raised here. We'll see. But, yes, hopefully eventually we'll get you some polos. It may not be this exact one. This one fits so well, the color scheme and everything, but I could not find another one. It was just, yeah, we've looked everywhere. If you find it, great. Buy me another one. But otherwise, yeah, we may not.

Okay, let's get to another one here. "Will God give back innocence?"

That is a great, great question okay, so innocence implies clean, hands are clean never any involvement okay, let me give you a vision beyond innocence and I've never been asked this question before but I've never asked for God to give me back my innocence as far as make it like I never knew anything, like I'm unfamiliar with the entire purity battle. It's all new to me again. Because God wants to take what's been used for evil and use it for good.

And if God gave me back my innocence right now, I think it would be a step backwards in a way. You see, God wants to use what's been used against you and what's hurt you for a greater good.

And that takes faith in a big God to believe Him to do that. But asking for innocence might be the easy way out. And a cop-out instead of God?

I'm in a situation because of bad choices. There's no doubt about it. God, you didn't do this to me. I did this to me. I'm in a situation because of bad choices. But you know what, God? I want to use what was meant for evil for good in other people's lives. Take revenge on the enemy in this way. Does that make sense, guys?

And see, this isn't something relegated to preachers. This is anyone. That's why, like with the cord, for example, we really encourage you to, if someone's invited you to be in their accountability group, then before long, you should be seeing other people. I wonder if they need help. I wonder, I've got a friend here, he's never talked about it, she's never mentioned it, but I wonder if, what if I just share my testimony with them and ask them if I could be a help to them? Y

ou know, I've had so many people, so many guys come to me that I've been in accountability groups with. And we believe in mutual accountability here. So this isn't just confession booth time. No, this is mutual, okay? And that's the picture of the threefold cord. Every strand is equally contributing and depending on the group its strength, okay? So it's mutual accountability. I can't tell you how many guys through the years have said to me, "I so appreciate what you're doing to help me with my victory by being accountable with me here."

And I always turn it back and say, no, you have no idea how much of help your accountability is to me. You know why? Because when you're doing mutual accountability, then their victory is 50% of my own. It's like we're in this together, guys.

And the fact that I have people that I can talk to about this on a daily basis, I don't take that for granted. That's awesome. So that's so much of our victory.

And I think why we need to get our eyes off ourselves in our victory and in our purity journey. And maybe it again brings us back to that question. Yes, you could be innocent, but what about the people that are around you? What if God granted you that request and you're innocent and can't help anyone else? Selfish.

What if instead you say, you know, God's put me in a position. Or I've got, you know, it was my choices. It was my choices. But God, someone, someone, an author I read in a book put it this way. "God can steer what He hates to accomplish what He wants." Man.

Will you allow God to do that in your own life?

We need to be done. Was there one final one you thought was a clincher that we're going to get to?

No, not so. I think that was a good one to end on.

I'm sorry, guys. I really thought we'd get through all these. Last year we did, I think, but not this time.

I was going to say whoever asked that last one gets a hat because that's a great question, but I'm not sure they'd want to raise their hand. If you want to sneak by the table later and just kind of swipe it, we'll just know it's you.

But anyone here is welcome to get a sticker. So come by the table after the service this evening to get that.

The next series is going to be on the thought life. This is something that I get questions on more than anything else. And our first episode is going to be why I get questions on this more than anything else. I don't think it's always because it's the main issue. Okay, so we'll deal with that. Sometimes it's because maybe it's the easiest issue to talk about. But it does imply that there's a greater root issue, and we're going to get to that.

We're going to be talking about how to deal with thoughts that has a source and an apparent temptation, and some that are just out of nowhere. Because the way you deal with those two are very different. Very different. Okay?

So we'll be dealing with that in the coming weeks. We will go through all these. Maybe we'll be able to answer some on the podcast here coming up, if there's some really great questions in there to hit on.

I will for sure look through all those that gave a suggestion for a topic. Did we get some of those? At least one. At least one. Okay. So we'll be sure to go through and review those as well.

Let's have a word of prayer and we'll be done.

Lord, thank you for how you've led in this time. And I pray that for each one of us, Lord, as we just hit on for a couple minutes, for each one of us that are in a position now, we'd all love to be out of, but Lord, would you use what the devil has meant for evil and allow us to take revenge on that and to help other people, people that are here, people that are not here, to bring them along in our purity journey as we follow you. We pray this in your name. Amen.