Ryan Swanson: Welcome to Satisfied, a monthly program on the Thee Generation Podcast designed to offer practical tools based on biblical principles so that anyone can experience full purity and lead others to do the same. Hello and welcome back to the Satisfied podcast here on the Thee Generation Network. We’re like it’s been a while since we’ve done a regular formatted podcast like this. We finally finished up our Q&A last month, and we’re ready to dive into the series on the thought life. Before we do, let me give you a quick just ministry update on what our family and our ministry has been doing. We’ve been doing a good bit of traveling and doing more and more purity seminars, purity meetings and I’ve really enjoyed our time doing that. We had a great week of meetings in Urbana, Ohio with Pastor Aaron Samples and his family. They took great care of us there. We had a wonderful time with them, but saw the Lord do some neat things in a church that was ready and prepared for this because not every church is willing to talk about purity for sure. Not every pastor is ready to do that in his church. That’s fine. And we have, we’ve, we’ve not taken it upon ourselves to try to convince every pastor in America that he needs this in his church. We kind of have just decided to allow the Lord to do that, convince him of that and of the need. And then we’ll happily come and, and come alongside him and do anything we can to help with these meetings. But in Urbana, the church was prepared, and it was just neat to see what happens when people are willing to appropriately be open and get help and deal with these issues. So we’ll be doing that again in February, in about a week and a half, actually. We head to Alberta and Saskatchewan. We’ve got four meetings up there. What a great time to be in Canada, right? I’m not sure how they talked me into that. But we’re preaching a winter teen camp there and then have, I think, four men’s purity seminars. So looking forward to that. But we’re staying quite busy just with the goal of being in another church each month and coming alongside and ministering with pastors and leaders in this way. Well, as I mentioned, and as you know, we’re beginning a series on the thought life. And this is something, of course, that we’ve referenced along the way. It is a normal part of a discussion on purity. But we haven’t done a specific series on it, and I think we’re all going to learn some things as we go through this. Now, the reason this podcast is titled Missing the Point is because it’s actually going to be a discussion on why thoughts isn’t your biggest issue. But often we think or we say that it is. And so I first want to explore this and we’ll certainly explain why we would try to make a point like this that we’re missing the point. But let’s walk through some reasons why someone might say that thoughts is their biggest issue or they’re willing to get help in the thought life when maybe that actually isn’t the root or the source issue. I’m not necessarily even talking about let’s dive deep into the root issues of selfishness and other things that might be there. That’s a discussion for another time and an absolutely valid discussion. But when I’m talking about source issues, I’m talking specifically in these three areas of thoughts, viewing, and self-gratification. Because it’s, for some reason, a lot easier to say I have a problem or I’m struggling in thoughts than the other two. So that would kind of be the first reason I think why a lot of people are willing to say or where they’ll admit or ask for help in this area of their thought life is just because it’s the easiest of the three areas to admit to. For some reason, we kind of view the viewing or the pornography issue as the worst of the three of thoughts, viewing and self-gratification. We just kind of put that like, oh, you know, someone that’s addicted to pornography. I don’t want to admit to that or struggling with viewing at all. And so that’s not the easiest to admit to. And then, of course, self-gratification is a very personal thing. And we’re careful even how we address it and discuss it here. And so, of course, that’s not an easy thing to talk about, even with the right people and in a proper environment. It’s not an easy thing to admit to. So when it comes down to it, then of the three areas, thoughts is just the easiest thing to admit to. And I think that’s one of the reasons why I get more people asking for help in thoughts than anything else. I don’t think it’s because thoughts is the root issue. I think it’s just it’s most easy to admit to. And so I have to be thinking that as someone comes and asks for help in that way, that probably they’re struggling in all three areas, at least two of the three. Another reason that somebody may just ask for help in thoughts or say that that’s their big issue is not just because it’s easier to admit to, but maybe that is their most frequent battle. And so they think they need more help and thoughts than anything else, because they struggle with thoughts on a daily basis, and may be viewing only on a weekly or even monthly basis. So it would be easy to see why somebody would say that my big issue is thoughts, because they struggled with it this morning and yesterday and the day before, and it seems like the perpetual issue. but I would argue and we’ll see later in this series that that is actually still a resulting issue from the once a week, once a month, there is still filth coming in. And so not only are there actual, is there actual imagery that is there available and now has to be battled out in the thoughts in the coming days, but also there’s the lustful spirit. You’ve taken a moment to feed your lust through your eyes and that lustful spirit is now burning inside of you and is going to look for other areas such as thought life and self-gratification to continue to be fed since you fed it that one time it’s like in our neighborhood we’ve got cats all over the place I mean there are it’s probably why we don’t have a mice problem and so in that way I don’t mind it but it gets kind of noisy sometimes with the neighborhood cats fights and everything. But with these cats around, it would be tempting at times for Parker’s sake, for our son. He’d love to see them up close. So it’d be tempting to put some food out and just get them to come a little bit closer and to enjoy it. And that might be nice once or twice, but what’s going to happen when the cat realizes, here’s a place I can be fed? Well, they’re going to be here scratching on our doors every day and look for a way to get at more food here. They’ll be in our garbage cans and who knows what else. So even if I just feed the cat once, one time, he’s going to keep coming back day after day. Not because I’m even feeding him day after day, but because he knows that there is a source here. And whether that’s a good illustration or not, I honestly haven’t thought about it before now, so probably not. But hopefully you get the point that if we’re feeding our flesh, especially in a big, significant way, as a moment of indulgence in pornography or other way of viewing, then we can expect that our lust is going to keep coming back and knocking at the door day after day. When you’re sitting in church, you’re bombarded with thoughts. When you’re in class, you’re bombarded with thoughts. When you’re laying in bed, you’re bombarded with thoughts. And it’s because you told your flesh that it can be fed here. So even though the thoughts may be the perpetual and the most frequent issue, we’ve got to deal with and look back to whatever it is, even once a month that we are giving in in this area of viewing. So first of all, why do we talk about thoughts most often? Why is it something we’re willing to discuss more often or admit that we need help with? First of all, it’s the easiest issue to talk about. Secondly, it’s the most frequent, perhaps, that we struggle with. So we assume that it’s our biggest issue. But then thirdly, I think it’s easier to admit we have a problem with thoughts because it assumes that a viewing issue is in the past, emphasis on past. And this is something I hear a lot where somebody will hear we have a purity ministry and they’ll say, you know, I really, yeah, at one point struggled with viewing, struggled with porn, whatever they say. But, you know, I’m doing pretty well now. just a battle of the thoughts, but we all struggle with that, right? That’s kind of how that conversation goes. And of course, I can see through that. You probably can too. It’s not hard to, that they’re just not ready to fully admit and deal with what’s going on. Now, could it be true that they’re just dealing with thoughts? It definitely could be, but most often there’s, Again, maybe less frequent, but there is still an issue with viewing that is causing, is the source for a lot of that battle in thoughts. So it’s going to be really important in dealing with this area of the thought life as we continue through this series in the coming months, that we’re not using this discussion to be in denial of the real issue. There is no doubt that we need help in this area of thoughts. but it may not be our only or even our biggest issue. I’ve noticed with dealing with young men, and I’m sure it’s the same with young ladies, we can either be on one of two extremes with how we view our own lust. There’s the optimistic and the pessimistic side, classically. The pessimist would be the one who is down and discouraged, feels like he never can amount to anything because of this area of lust, and he sees it as a huge issue. That’s not the problem. He sees it as a massive issue that it is, but he just has lost all hope of ever being delivered in this area and has kind of given up. And that’s the pessimistic or really the fatalistic view of our own purity. But secondly, and by far the most common, at least with men I’m speaking with, is the optimistic, someone who knows they have an issue but is always trying to shed it in the best light possible. And it may not be disingenuous. Somehow we can legitimately think that we are always on the verge of complete victory. Isn’t that interesting how that works out? It’s, you know, if somebody asks us, we’re not ready and willing to admit we have a huge issue because we feel like we can stop any time. And in fact, I really haven’t struggled that much today, so I must have kicked it, even though you knew you just fell big time yesterday or the day before. I mean, it is unreal how optimistic we can be about failure in this area. And most of us completely understand and are in that category of being foolishly optimistic concerning how we view our own purity. In the men’s purity seminars that we’re doing these days, we’ve just started to use a really neat piece of software that can do anonymous polling live. So I can put up on the screen a multiple choice question and poll the audience they can answer on their phones, and I can see live what the answer to that poll is. So the question I ask to start things out is just simply describe your current purity battle. And the options are all set, could be better, really needs improvement, or I’m desperate. And what we’ve seen as we’ve done this, the vast majority will say that it could be better or all set. but most of them coming in at could be better with under 5% saying that they’re desperate in this area of purity. And it surprised me at first until we get later on in the discussion after we’ve gone through a message on no tolerance and we’ve gone through the scale of 1 to 10 and discussed the steps that we take that are all compromising steps before we get to relapse. And I put up another question on the screen that says, what was the lowest you have been on the viewing scale in the past three months? So looking back over three months, what’s the lowest moment that you’ve had in the last three months? And the options are no compromise. I considered but didn’t act out. I made provision for the flesh or was unwise. I took a second glance and I took an extended look at something that I didn’t search for or I took an extended look at something I intentionally searched for. And remember, this is a group of guys that less than 5% say they were desperate in their purity battle. And the vast majority said could be better or all set. But by far the most votes for this question, the vast majority, had to admit at this point that that last category is where they’ve been at some point in the last three months. I took an extended look at something I intentionally searched for. When I saw those polls come in live, I put it up on the screen, and I was taken back and had to bring the men back to that first question I asked. And why is it that less than 5% say they’re desperate when the vast majority of us in here have fallen in a big way in the last three months? That’s, again, because of how optimistic we can be about our purity. When it’s given to us black and white, we look on there and say, well, yeah, I guess I’d be in that last category, intentionally search for something that I should not have inappropriate material. And yeah, I did that in the last three months. And so then we’re willing to be honest. But when it comes to something subjective, like just how would you describe your journey? How bad is it? It’s so easy just to shrug it off and say, ah, could be better, but really not that bad. And I think it’s less an issue of honesty and more an issue of integrity. It’s what is actually your goal because you’ve just told yourself very clearly in this poll that you’re satisfied with where you’re at. And until the majority of us men are in that last category of being desperate, when that 5% is 90 or 100% of a church, man, what could God do with a church like that? When the 5% that are desperate become the majority in a church, man, we can see God do some incredible things. And I think just with that, with the group of men that I’m thinking of, when they saw that up there on the screen, it was just stunning. It was honestly a hard and in a way a sacred moment because there was no hiding at that point. Everybody knew that the majority of us in here are struggling with this. And we all should be living in desperation before the Lord to see deliverance, real deliverance in this area. So we think thoughts is our biggest issue, and we’re unwilling to admit of another source issue because thoughts is the easiest of the issues to speak of, because it’s the most frequent battle that we deal with, because it assumes that a viewing issue is only in the past, and we’re so optimistic that we think it’s going to stay there. Not only does an issue of thoughts result from a viewing problem, it also leads to a viewing problem. There’s no doubt that it is a cycle, and that’s exactly how the devil has designed to keep us in perpetual failure in this area. You know what Job said in Job 31 verse 1, I made a covenant with mine eyes. Why then should I think upon a maid? He recognizes the correlation between the two. Why would I think upon something I’m not looking at? Where is the source? He’s not in denial of either issue, the issue of thoughts or the issue of viewing, but he’s saying, I have a covenant with mine eyes. There is nothing coming in. And in a discussion of his own integrity, where he’s willing in verse 6 to say, let me be weighed in an even balance that God may know mine integrity, he’s clearly speaking from a point of victory in this way, and he’s giving the reason for why he’s speaking for victory in this area of thoughts, why this is not a struggle for him, why he’s not struggling with thinking upon a maid, and he’s pointing back and saying, the reason that I’m not struggling in my thoughts is because I made a covenant with my eyes. So listen, I’m not denying that there isn’t a legitimate battle in the thoughts. That is a battleground that we will hit hard, and we’ll discuss this both from a practical standpoint, and then biblically, the principles that are there to help us we will get there but I think we have to start with making sure that we’re not in denial of the other issue of viewing this one’s the easiest to talk about I get it it may be the most frequent but there’s going to be no victory in your thoughts unless you’re desperate before the Lord about that once a month once a week whatever it is once every three months that you’re still falling and struggling in the area of viewing so if that’s where you think you’re at and you’re missing that desperation, maybe go back and listen to the podcast called No Tolerance. And that may help you view things in the proper light on how God sees this. Well, next month, as we come back to this discussion, we will get a little bit deeper into the issue of thoughts. And we’ll split and talk about two different types of battle in the mind. And it’s very important to distinguish between these two types of temptations in the thought life. There’s, on the one hand, sourced temptations and unsourced temptations. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’ll just have to join us next time. So that’ll be next month here on the Satisfied program. And again, I appreciate you joining us as we continue to be less gratified and more satisfied with Jesus Christ.