Caleb Reed: Okay, well, we've got almost 300 people up in this building right now. So as you were looking through the different lists, I wonder maybe why you chose this room.

There's probably a couple different reasons. Could have been. Either you know me and you wanted to watch me implode.

Or maybe you thought that's an interesting title, so you came up. Maybe it was just the last room on the list and everything else was full, so you slipped in here. I don't know.

Probably the reason it wasn't is because you looked at the list and said, boy, I got a real issue with that. That's why I want to go there.

It probably wasn't what it was. Because the topic we're going to talk about this morning, bitterness, is an area, is an issue that most often we think it's for somebody else.

Most often it's not an area that we think we struggle with. And so this morning I want you to turn to Genesis chapter 37 with me. And we're going to talk about this topic.

This is something I've had an opportunity to preach on a few times. And it's something that the Lord continues to deal with me. And because we only have a few minutes, I'm going to try to make this as succinct as possible.

And I'm not going to try to waste any words if I can. Bitterness. The title is The Battle You Will Never Win.

I want to start with a quick story. Back in 1944, what battle was going on, or what war was going on in 1944? World War II.

Right near the end. The Japanese Imperial Army, who had a foothold in the Philippines, had placed an officer on the island of Lubang,

which I don't even know where that island is. I just know it's in the Philippines. They placed him on the island of Lubang.

His name was Hiro Onada. And they gave him instructions that he was to conduct guerrilla warfare until he was relieved.

They did not know when the war was going to end. Really, the war was only going to last not even 12 more months after that. And they gave him instructions.

He and his band of men were to conduct guerrilla warfare throughout the island. If there was problems, if they were to be attacked or whatever, they were to retreat into the interior.

But they were given strict orders. they were not to surrender or kill themselves. If you know anything about the Japanese, that was one of the things they would do.

If it looked like the war was going to end poorly for them, they would commit suicide, and that was a way in their religious system that they thought would give them more merit with the gods in heaven.

But they were instructed, do not kill yourself. You are to fight until relieved. Well, as we know, 1945, September 2nd, an armistice was signed,

and for the Japanese army, the war was over. And all across the front where the Japanese were fighting, wherever the word could be received or given, the war was over.

And yet for this man, Onoda, he continued to fight because he'd been given instructions, fight until relieved. And he and his band of men passed September 2, 1945.

They passed January 1, 1946. They passed 1947, 1948. They kept fighting.

There was radio broadcasts blared into the jungle of the surrender of the Japanese. There was even leaflets that were dropped from the sky, trying to get the word to these, what they were called as holdouts,

the war is over. It is done. You need to surrender and come out.

But Onoda kept fighting. The war was finished, but he kept fighting. His band of men began to be whittled down.

Some villagers would be able to pick off a few of his men. Some of the police began to pick off a few of his men. And as the years passed by, he came down to four men and himself,

until finally one deserted, two were killed, and one disappeared. And it was just him left. And he fought on 1949, 1950, 1955, 1960.

29 years after the war was completed, he fought on. And Onoda was fighting a battle, as the title says, that he could never win. And finally, in the year 1974, an adventurer and a journalist came to the island and seeking out this legend of Onoda.

Finally found him. Surprisingly, Onoda did not kill him, and he was able to convince him after bringing an officer back from retirement, from Japan, With a letter showing the war is over and we give you official command to surrender yourself.

After nearly three decades of fighting a battle, he could never win. Onada surrendered himself. Almost 30 years where everything inside of him was bent on destroying an enemy that he could never destroy.

For nearly 30 years, he was fighting with everything he had, a battle he would never win. And that right there, young people, is bitterness. Fighting a battle you will never win.

It's not that Onoda just, he just couldn't work hard enough to win it. If maybe he had more men, he could have won it. Onoda was fighting a losing proposition.

He could not win. It was impossible, and that is bitterness for you. It's impossible.

Today, you're probably here, again, like I said, not thinking bitterness is your issue. And yet today, I believe bitterness is the battle that is destroying our church and one of the most deadly sins in our church and in our home because it is a silent killer.

And it does more internal destruction than any other sin. Bitterness is the battle of a whole other level because bitterness is deeply personal. Bitterness is not only deep, many times it's silent, it's personable,

but the reason it is so difficult to deal with bitterness is because it is justifiable. Because bitterness makes sense, humanly. We can justify and explain bitterness.

This morning, in this group right here, there may be some of you here who have bitterness, and you don't even realize it. Where there is the roots of bitterness that have been planted in your heart, and you don't even know it.

This is where I have been many times. Because bitterness, being so personal, being so deep, and being so silent, it's easy to fly under the radar. And yet the Bible gives us some very clear ways of identifying bitterness.

Because the Bible tells us that if it's in your heart, it's going to come out. Matthew chapter 12, verse 34 says, Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

And I want you to mark it down, whether you realize it or not. If there is bitterness, it either has already or it will come out. You're in Genesis chapter 37.

this passage we know very, very well. And this two verses we're going to look at is the, in many ways, just a perfect synopsis of a picture of bitterness.

We know the story. In Genesis chapter 37, we have Isaac and his 12 sons, Israel and his 12 sons. And what is, in verses 3 and 4, I want you to look there with me.

I'm going to turn there now. In verses 3 and 4, we're going to read these two verses. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children

because he was the son of his old age, and he made him a coat of many colors. Now stop right there.

All of you here have been a child in a family at one time or another, and you probably still are. If your parents chose to favor you,

I'm assuming you're not an only child, if your parents chose to favor you more than any of your other siblings, okay?

I come from a family of eight. And if my parents seem to give special treatment to one of my brothers and sisters,

obviously and far more noticeably than any of us, would that be a problem? Yes, okay, we've got some parents in the room.

And they would say, that would be a problem. God has given them a commission to love their children equally.

And yet here we see a very obvious problem. have a father who clearly loves one child much more than the other. He favors him.

He gives him gifts. And to the other 11 brothers, they recognized this is a problem.

Now, I want you to think right there. Did the 11 brothers recognize a genuine issue?

Was it wrong for Isaac to love his son more. Excuse me, Jacob, for Israel to love his son more.

Was it wrong for him to love Joseph more? Yes.

Was that a legitimate issue? Yes. Verse 4, and when his brethren saw that their father

loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him and could not speak peaceably unto him. In very briefly, of bitterness.

It says in verse 4, and when his brethren saw, they perceived something with their eyes. And what did they perceive?

They perceived reality. They recognized that there is a legitimate hurt, there is a wrong been done, a sin has been committed.

And what they saw was reality. Folks, you got to understand this, that bitterness many times starts from something that

is true, a legitimate hurt. But it doesn't stay there. As the brothers see what was legitimate,

they began to see past that, and they began to perceive what was illegitimate. And they began to look at their brother, and then the heart kicks into gear. It says,

and when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, They hated him and could not speak peacefully unto him. Bitterness starts with what you perceive.

Bitterness moves to the heart to what you begin to believe. And bitterness comes out through your mouth of what you speak. Young people, if I was to ask you right now,

Is there anybody in your life that you're bitter with? You may not know. But if I was to ask you this, have you ever been hurt?

I dare say everyone in this room would raise your hand and say, yes, I've been hurt before. What have you done with that? Bitterness is one of the most deadly killers because it is legitimate.

It might have been a father. It might have been your mother. It might have been an uncle or a cousin or a Sunday school teacher

or a school teacher or a pastor. And someone did you wrong, and you recognized it, and you were genuinely hurt.

And then what begins to move inside is a resentment for them. Someone defined bitterness this way, a reaction or deep resentment to personal injustice.

One preacher said it this way, where your personal justice system has been violated. And when bitterness is perceived and moves into the heart

and bitterness is believed, there is no longer room for forgiveness. There is no longer room for love.

Bitterness in your heart will squeeze out any appreciation. It will destroy relationships. Friendships change, and you don't even care.

People that you were once close to who now have hurt you, you no longer care if that relationship goes by the wayside. A father or a mother who once you were close to,

but because they actually hurt you and you allowed that root of bitterness to stay, you no longer care about the relationship

that you have with your family. Young people and adults alike, there have been many, many churches that have been split over bitterness. There have been families torn apart because of the seething rage of a bitter father.

There have been parents' hearts who have broken because of the unresolved bitterness of a child. It destroys families. It starts with what you see.

First, it's legitimate, and then it moves to anything you perceive. No longer is it just the person who's hurt you, but now everybody seems to be against you. And everybody you see looks like they're upset with you.

And as it settles into the heart, what you believe becomes who you are. And then it moves to the tongue. In verse 4 of the brethren, it says this,

And when his brethren saw that the father loved him more, they hated him and could not speak peaceably unto him. Here's the point that I feel makes bitterness the most clear. Because as we read before in Matthew chapter 12, if it's in your heart, it's coming out.

And if there is bitterness in your life and in your heart, it will be exposed through your mouth. Your tongue is the thing that will betray you. It says here in this passage, they could not speak peaceably unto them.

They couldn't say anything kind to their brother or about their brother. Every word that proceeded out of their mouth concerning their brother was only negative. Have you been there?

Remember some years ago, I was in college, I think I was a sophomore in college, and there was a student here that really had got under my skin. And it was a young lady, actually, and she just irritated me.

She drove me nuts. And I was traveling down for a spring break with my older brother, and we were driving down to Texas to see my grandfather,

and this gal's name got brought up in the conversation. And immediately, I jumped into a tirade against her. Of all the things, and some of them were legitimate,

of all the things that just bothered me about her. And I just went down through a list, one, two, three, four, five,

of everything that she did or didn't do that really, really bothered me. I wasn't bitter, I just bothered.

And my brother said to me, he says, you really hate her, don't you? I said, no, no, no, no, that's strong.

That's really strong. No, I just, she bothers me. There's something that bothers me.

He says, considering how you just spoke, you really hate her, don't you? I said no no no she just bothers me

and he started going after it so hard that I started getting mad at him I said no Zach I don't

hate her she just bothers me you know the conversation ended he didn't push it any farther

within the next two days I began to really mull this over I began to realize

I really don't like her I think it's more than that I think it's true I do hate her

and it was exposed through my mouth Now, okay, that situation, maybe we've all been in. We could probably all list a group of people that really bother us.

And if we were willing to be honest today, we would have to say, there might be some bitterness there. But how about someone you love?

How about your mother or your father? Last summer, I was working on a job, finished the job. My older brother, younger brother, Zach and Josiah, some of you know them,

we all climbed into Josiah's truck and we were heading home. Driving home, saw something on the side of the road, wanted to look at it, something for sale, pulled over to take a look at it.

And as we're pulling back out into traffic, my brother, younger brother, pulls out with a semi. I mean, the semi was really close. I thought he was just going to pull out and go to the curb there.

He pulls out directly in front of the semi. I'm going to sit in the middle. I'm looking in the direct rearview mirror, and I can see Volvo right behind me moving in really fast.

My older brother's sitting here. He looked through this mirror, and he simply said, Josiah, go. I'm telling you, all eight little horses in that little Toyota took off,

and he put the pedal to the metal. I've never been in a vehicle where he drove that fast. And he got up out of there, but that truck, that semi was coming up close.

And he got it over to the side, goes by. And we're all sitting there real quiet, and I'm thinking, I cannot believe you just did that.

And Zach said to him, Josiah, what were you thinking? And he says, I didn't realize he was coming up that fast. And I'm sitting there going, wow, in my mind, I'm thinking, wow, we were really calm.

I mean, we were really calm in that moment. It was a moment of pressure, and we were smooth. And I said this.

I said, Zach, I'm impressed. You were really calm. I'm telling you, if Dad was here, and I stopped right there because my tongue had betrayed me.

You know, for the last few years, sometimes in a moment like that, my dad would say, Go, go, go, go, go, go! And I'm, Dad, you're not helping the situation.

And that trait of my father, though there's nothing wrong with it, had irritated me. But I love my dad. I really love my dad.

I really do. There's no bitterness with my dad because I love him. We have a great relationship.

And yet, in that moment of pressure, my mouth betrayed me. That even in that, there was areas of frustration against my father that when brought to the surface really irritated me.

And my mouth is the thing that betrayed me. Young people, if you are bitter, it either has come out and you haven't recognized it, or it will come out, and maybe someone else is going to recognize it, but I hope you do too.

It comes out in a critical spirit. You know, people who are critical are not always bitter, but bitter people are always critical.

It will be that way. Bitterness, critical, sarcastic, degrading. Have you watched your speech recently?

What's it revealing? Or maybe it's not even coming out. It's silence.

Is there any relationship that you have been content to let go by the wayside? A relationship that you have been willing to not talk to the person, in fact, you don't want to talk to that person

because of the resentment in your heart towards them? It's exposed through the mouth. But I say all this to say this.

Half the battle of dealing with bitterness is coming to the conclusion that I have it. Half the battle of dealing with bitterness is admitting I am bitter,

and the other half of the battle, which is just as large, is dealing with it. Maybe as I've been speaking, there is a face that has come to your mind of someone who's hurt you, father, mother, uncle, cousin, classmate,

someone who has hurt you. But the biggest battle of dealing with that bitterness is it's personal and it's legitimate. So if it has been exposed, what are you going to do with it?

That's your greatest battle. What are you going to do with it? Because everything inside of us does not want to deal with it.

Everything inside of us feels like, if I get this right, if I yield this, if I choose to forgive them, then what's going to happen? I'll have lost the battle. I'll have lost everything because somehow it feels like that as long as you can be angry with someone,

as long as you can hold on to that resentment, somehow it makes us feel like we're winning. But the truth is you're being destroyed internally. The bitterness that is inside of you is doing

nothing to them. It's destroying you. Someone put it this way.

He said, bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will die from it. You know, the Mayo Clinic, just in Minnesota,

they're well known for their research. They did research on bitterness, and they found that there is actual measurable elements to bitterness that you can see.

And this is what they said. Bitterness will affect and can create measurable disease, lowered immune system, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, and even physical beauty.

Have you ever been around someone who looks like they are just as hard as stone? And then when they open their mouth, it makes a whole lot of sense? And this is what the Mayo Clinic said, okay?

This is not a Christian organization. The Mayo Clinic said this. They said, you may have been hurt deeply, but, quote,

if you don't practice forgiveness, you may be the one who pays most dearly. bitterness the battle of bitterness is a battle you will never win because you never make the person who hurts you pay you pay for it yourself and jesus christ on the cross who experienced

the most legitimate persecution who he could have said i legitimately have a cause to be angry He was lied about. He was cheated.

He was treated. Everything about his trial was illegal. He had, of anybody in the history of the universe,

he had the greatest case to be explained, I deserve to be angry. I have been truthfully wronged.

And yet Jesus Christ on the cross said, Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.

In Hebrews 12, verse 15, we're going to be ending here with this. Hebrews 12, verse 15, the Bible says this, looking diligently, lest any man fail of the grace of God,

lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled. If you are bitter, you're killing yourself.

But you're not only killing yourself, you're defiling everyone around you. it's silent it's personal

it's deep but it's deadly in Colossians chapter 3

forbearing one another forgiving one another if any man have a quarrel against you

here's the power, here's the reason even as Christ forgave so also do ye

Jesus Christ has the power to give you the power

to release the bitterness. Because the longer you hold it, the more it will destroy.

You will never make the other person pay. You will pay for it in the end. If the Lord is exposed to bitterness,

someone who has hurt you, young people, Jesus has the answer.

It is simply coming to Him, understanding how much He forgave me, and releasing the battle, surrendering the battle,

yielding the hurt that was real over to the one that heals all hurts. Because, young people, it's the battle you can never win. You will never win.

But Jesus Christ has already won it for you. What will you do with the battle of bitterness?