Jim Van Gelderen: This is Jim Van Gelderen presenting the series “The Co-infections of Moral Impurity.” God began to stir my heart that this particular sin brings with it other issues that need to be dealt with. Although a young man may deal with the main issue of moral impurity and lust, however that manifests itself, sometimes he doesn’t deal with the co-infections.

I remember after presenting this material the first time, a young man who was a college student came to me and said, “Brother Van Gelderen, it’s been two years since I’ve looked at something I should not look at on the internet.” But he said, “All those co-infections you talked about, I have them.” I appreciated his honesty.

I know that’s the beginning of recovering from those, because certainly that’s what it’s all about.

I’ve preached a message at Pleasantville Baptist Church in Pleasantville, Iowa. It was the Sunday school message, and we’re taking the recording of that and splitting it up.

I’m just going to introduce each section. I’m going to do the first three points because those are the main ones.

All of us recognize today that the world is constantly trying to sully our purity. There’s no doubt that young men, and even young ladies, understand this. We’re in a day where there is a complete disregard for Bible purity and Bible truth, and as a result, there’s a great temptation to step into moral impurity.

That can be in many ways. Sometimes it’s looking at things on the internet that you have no business looking at, or watching a movie that is inappropriate, with that which is provocative and lustful. Perhaps it’s an internet site, or one of the many venues through which we’re tempted today in the world in which we live—through media and sometimes just life walking down the street.

We live in a world that is constantly trying to pull our minds away from Bible purity into that which is impure—sexual impurity. It can manifest itself in looking at stuff you shouldn’t, in wrong thinking, what we might call fantasizing or lustful thoughts, and also in action. That certainly is the worst, when it gets into action and we’re involved in things that are selfish and lustful.

God very clearly tells us, “Don’t go there,” because it won’t help you.

Well, there are co-infections, and today’s co-infection is the very first one: selfishness. There’s no doubt about it.

The Bible tells us, “Every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lusts, and enticed.” You’ll hear that verse again while I preach, but I want you to understand it in James chapter number one.

Anytime we’re tempted, the only way the temptation will ever be successful is through selfishness—our own lusts. So that’s the problem, the co-infection that really precedes the failure, the sin. But then it is fueled forward by sin.

We’ll talk about that today. I hope this will be a help to you, a friend, because God wants to deliver you not just from the issues of moral impurity. He wants to deliver you from the selfishness that fuels it.

Every man in this room knows you may not look at stuff or do things you shouldn’t, but you can be defeated in your mind. That kind of defeat, I think, is killing us. It’s killing us, and I’m going to show you why.

I’m going to deal with this this morning. I probably won’t be able to finish it, but I can at least get started and get you thinking. That’s really the idea: co-infections of moral impurity.

Let’s say we could take out of your life all the moral failure, even just mental—all the moral failure—and suck it out of your life. You still would be in trouble.

I had a young man tell me at our Bible college, because we try to help young people, particularly young men, get victory in these areas, “You know, I have not looked at anything I shouldn’t look at for two years.” But he said, “Every co-infection you mentioned, I still have them in my life.”

Even if you get rid of that issue, you still have problems because some of you are familiar with different diseases. I know Lyme disease is this way. The problem is not just Lyme disease; the problem is all the co-infections that come with it.

I don’t understand it all, but I want to deal with the co-infections of moral impurity. If you get rid of the core issue, you still have problems, and that’s where you need biblical help.

As I gave testimony a moment ago, there is help, and I’ve seen young men get sustained victory. I’ve talked to young men who have sustained victory in areas I never thought possible, and I know God’s grace is sufficient. So it’s exciting to me, because I’m going to tell you this: if a boy is compromising at thirteen, he will compromise at thirty.

You know why our Bible college students are leaving Bible college and just shifting way to the left? I am convinced it has nothing to do with progressive thinking. That leftward thinking has nothing to do with being more compelling than conservative thinking.

I don’t believe that’s the issue at all. The issue is co-infections. I’m convinced of it.

There are so many things I can say, but let me get into a few of the co-infections. I’m just going to introduce them and then say a few things about each one.

Number one, co-infection—and this is the huge one—is selfishness. You cannot look at inappropriate material without being selfish. It’s impossible.

Now, you can be tempted. I’m not talking about temptation. There’s a difference between temptation and sin.

Are you tracking with me?

The Bible says Jesus was tempted in all points like as we are—can you help me out now?—yet without sin. Which means you can be tempted and not sin.

All of us are tempted in the moral arena. At least visually, we’re all tempted. But Jesus didn’t sin.

It’s hard for us to say this because we look at the sinless Son of God in a way, but you need to understand—and I’m not in any way trying to be irreverent or inappropriate—that Jesus had to be tempted with moral wrong and immoral thinking. He had to be, because the Bible says He was tempted in all points like as we are.

But He never caved in to it. He got victory immediately.

By the way, the way of escape is at the moment of temptation, not two seconds after. It’s at the moment of temptation. That’s First Corinthians 10:13.

There is a way out, but you’ve got to take it early. You’ve got to make sure you don’t miss the exit. There is a way of escape because the Bible says there is.

Now, with that simple understanding, here is selfishness. Here’s what the Bible says: “Every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lusts, and enticed.”

Understand this: no man in this room will succumb to immoral thinking or viewing without selfishness. It’s impossible.

The only reason you dwell on things you shouldn’t, look at things you shouldn’t, or watch R-rated films that have immorality in them is because you’re selfish. Let me say this carefully: to the core, every man in this room looking at pornography, your problem is so deep. Your problem is selfishness to the core.

You don’t love your wife or your future wife. You don’t love your kids or your future kids. You don’t love your future grandkids, because if you did, you wouldn’t do it.

There are certain things that predispose people to fall. I’ve talked about that, and I’ve been on a journey about dealing with woundedness that is not healed. The Bible talks about the strange woman casting down many wounded; “yea, many strong men have been slain by her.”

The immoral woman has two targets: wounded men and self-sufficient men. Those are the two. Proverbs tells us she goes after wounded men and self-sufficient men.

Back to this selfishness: you’ll never get over it until you realize, “I’m selfish.” That’s the core problem. That’s why a young man who is in wrong thinking or wrong viewing says, “If I can get married, it will solve the problem.”

Marriage is never the solution for selfishness. A man who is defeated morally and marries will often still be defeated morally. Why?

Because he’s selfish.

Unless you deal with your selfishness, young man, you are not going to have a good marriage. You get two selfish people in a marriage, and the best analogy I can think of is throwing two alley cats in a burlap bag and tying it up. That’s what most marriages are like, because you’ve got two selfish people in a burlap bag.

So what’s the answer? The answer is to deal with selfishness.

I’m going to be honest with you. You know what I love about marriage? Many things.

But you know what I love about marriage? You can’t get out of it. That’s what I love about marriage.

In other words, solve your selfishness problem or you won’t have any peace.

Deal with your issues. Don’t worry about her issues or his issues; deal with yours. That’s how marriage gets good: you’ve got to deal with yourself, and God won’t let you out of it.

This is not a message on marriage, but it helps you understand what we’re talking about. Selfishness is a huge issue today, and it’s killing us. Young man, you want to be a good husband?

You’d better deal with your selfishness, and deal with it now. Let your parents deal with it.

Go to your parents and say, “Show me when I’m being selfish. I’ve got to deal with this because I want to be a good husband.”

You know what selfishness is? It’s the antithesis to love. When the Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives,” you cannot love your wife without dealing with selfishness.

Every woman in this room who is married knows when her husband makes a decision that puts him first. There’s not a woman in this room who’s going to miss it when you’re being selfish.

Every man in this room, you can’t fool your wife if you’re being selfish. She picks up on it.

I’m not saying women aren’t selfish; they have times when they are. But I think a woman largely has much more propensity away from selfishness than a man does because of childbearing and sacrificing for her children.

She gets that in a way a man doesn’t. So selfishness is huge.

If you start making selfish decisions in your youth, looking at filth and not concerned about your future marriage, what you need to do is get before God, broken about the fact that your pornography problem is rooted in yourself.