Ryan Swanson: Hello, and welcome back to the Satisfied program here on the Thee Generation Podcast. This is Ryan Swanson, and we’re tackling our final episode in the series on emotional purity today. I’m excited about several points we want to bring out, answering a couple of questions. 

I will say from the beginning about the Cord app. We’re very excited about where that’s at. Actually moving ahead of schedule, we’re into the development stage. They already have a prototype. And we’re into the development stage now. And so code writing, things like that. It’s unbelievable what’s going on. And I’m so thankful for a team of Christian developers that have really imbibed the burden behind this and have just taken it and run with it. I’ve come up with ideas that I never would have thought of. And it’s incredible what God’s doing through this. So keep praying for that. We have a payment due here in a couple of days. So, we’re praying that way, but excited and confident that we’re going to be on schedule for release this fall. By the way, the branding for that is finished and keep an eye on the landing page at thecord.app. That will be updated within the next few weeks. I appreciate Bobby Bosler’s work on that. He will have that updated with our new Cord app branding. It’s pretty awesome. I think you’re going to enjoy it. So look forward to that. Keep an eye on that in the next couple of weeks here. That should be updated. 

But quickly, I want to move to the million dollar question. How do I know when God is trying to lead me toward my future spouse? How do I know? And how do I pray to know, to find out from him? So I wanna give you three points for this that may be helpful. Now I need to tell you to begin with though, that really, I wish I could, but I cannot tell you exactly what it’s gonna look like when God tells you, when God shows you, when God leads you. I can’t tell you exactly what it’s gonna feel like, exactly what to pray for, I can’t. I can’t because it’s God that’s going to lead you and not me, or not any other figure that is going to tell you exactly how this is going to work. It doesn’t work that way. God is going to lead you organically through a relationship with Him and it’s going to look different than every other person and remember, do not idolize someone else’s story and saying, well it happened this way to them, so it’s going to happen this way to me. No, remember the podcast Put Down the Pen, let God write your story, go back and listen to that. That was so important to understand that God’s plan for you, His story for you is the absolute best because it’s custom. Anything custom has more value. He’s writing it for you. It’s better than anyone else’s story because it is the best for you. So let Him write it. Don’t try to imitate what God’s done for someone else. That’s not worth as much. It doesn’t hold the same value when God writes it specifically for you. So let him do it. So it’s God that’s going to lead you, not me or anyone else, but let me just give you three quick points here that may be helpful in this. 

First of all, when it comes to finding an answer from God on who that individual is for you, who your future spouse is, don’t ask before you need to know. If you’re 14 years old, then don’t start asking God, is it this person? Is it this person? Will you prove it to me? Will you do this? Will you do that? There’s no reason for you to know. And what’s going to happen is you’re going to pose this before the Lord. And then for the next however many years of your life, you’re going to be reading into everything that happens, wondering if God’s trying to tell you this. Is He saying yes? Is He saying no? Is He saying it’s this person saying that? Has He answered my prayer? Has He not? There is no reason for you to know at this point when you’re 14 years old, 15, 16. Why start asking that now when there are so many other things that he’s going to want to lead you in that other areas of your life that He needs to be dealing with, maybe vocationally career wise, areas where you need to get an answer from Him in ministry, places that God wants to lead you. And, if you’re starting to ask him about a future spouse way before it’s time to even make a move on that, then guess what? It’s going to be harder to hear in other areas because you’re going to be so focused on that. So don’t ask before you need to know that. I can’t stress that enough. Just don’t even go there. There’s no reason, no reason to pose that before God, specifically asking for names before you need to know. Just don’t do it. 

Okay, but secondly, remember who you are. Remember that you are going to be the most biased person in this situation. Remember as we said in one of the podcasts, you stink at this game. In this case, you, you have a horse in the race. And as with any decision that we make that we have some kind of a bias in, which is almost every decision we make, when we are taking this before the Lord, it is going to be well nigh impossible for you to completely put your bias and your own desires aside and just seek the Lord’s will. So just, would you just understand that, and understand you might get it wrong? I’m talking about when it’s actually time and you feel like I need to get an answer from the Lord, would you maybe focus more on your attitude than the actual answer? 

Think of Job, for example, because I think that was the point of everything that happened to Job was God never in the end gave him an answer. We knew more about why things happen than Job did because we happened to get an insight into the throne room of God and see the fact that God was trying to prove that his servant would serve him regardless of whether or not he retained all of God’s blessings. And that was the point when Satan asked God, does Job serve thee for not? In other words, would he do it if you took everything away, would Job still serve you? So God is testing Job. We know that. Job doesn’t know. Job knows nothing about what’s going on, but in a very short period of time, he finds out he’s lost basically everything. And then in the next chapters we read through and see all these theologians, Job’s friends, trying to pin an answer on why God did this, trying to figure out God and they’re back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, trying to figure out why God did this. And the answer to Job’s anxiety was never that God gave him an answer and finally it all made sense. The answer was when God showed up and straightened out his attitude. Said, who do you think you are to try to figure me out. Where were you when all this happened? Where were you when I made this and that? Who do you think you are, Job? 

And guys, that is so important. Who do you think you are? When you’re praying this through, would you leave God in his position as God? I have seen guys and I’ve done it myself. We spent so much time in prayer on who our spouse is going to be that we can pretty much script out on paper everything, exactly what we feel like God is doing, and it is fine to pray that way and to seek God for it, but you cannot pin God down to a list of signs and wonders on a piece of paper. You cannot script out the path that he is taking you through. His ways are past finding out. So yes, when it’s time get desperate before him, ask him to lead you, but you must let him remain God in your life. Watch your attitude. Don’t have God so figured out in your mind that you get so thrown when it doesn’t work out the way you thought it would. 

And practically, let me just show you what this looks like. A guy who wants to completely get this figured out to the point where he is 100% convinced that this is the right one, this girl is the right one for him, and he can just script out on paper everything exactly how God’s done it, and 100% there’s no way that this could be any other way than the way that he has it scripted out and then he takes this and he presents it. It is a form of disrespect to the girl who also needs to seek God’s will, to parents who are also involved in this her parents, and to the Lord whom we have confined to our little box of understanding. 

I once asked a young lady who was single a what I thought would be a difficult question. I said, “Would you rather if number one, if a guy came to you or to your dad and said, I want you to know I’ve prayed this through for however many months or years and I am 100% convinced of this and I’m so excited about moving forward with this relationship and so I just want you to pray this over and confirm that this is God’s will and get back to me. Or would you rather number two, that a guy came and went to you or your dad, I said to and said, I want you to know that I have taken this amount of months or years and I have prayed with this with all my heart and to the best of my knowledge, I believe that God has led in this way. And I’m just responding to the step that I believe He wants me to take right now by putting this in your court. But I would want your opinion on this. I want you as well. This is such a big deal and a big decision that I really want you to pray it over as well and see if it is truly God that is in this.” And I said, “what would you rather? Guy that comes 100% this is it and just waiting for you to get on board or guy that says, you know, to the best of my knowledge and my relationship with the Lord, I believe that this is what God is leading, but I want you to pray it over as well and I respect what God shows you.” And she said, “without a doubt, the second guy. She said, that kind of respect would stand out so much more than the… What could come across as apparent arrogance of a guy who just says, I’m 100% convinced of this. It couldn’t be any other way.” 

Listen, if it’s time for you to start moving forward in a relationship and you believe God may be leading, get before him and seek him for it. Do your homework. Don’t just be lazy and wait for it to happen. Seek the Lord, ask Him to show you, get desperate before Him, but at the same time show some respect and remember who you are. Remember who God is. And the fact that you are only one person in this relationship, and you can only be 50% sure you can be up to 50% sure that this is God’s will, because there’s another 50%. There’s a whole another side that has to pray this through and decide. 

And that leads us finally to our last point. And this one is probably the hardest, but you have to, have to, have to keep this person on the altar. In other words, be ready to give him or her back at any point that God asked for him. This I have a really hard time explaining theologically. Why God could apparently lead you or allow you to feel like He has led you to a certain extent, and then to completely plot to us and seemingly lead you somewhere else. Or for that door to be closed without any answer. I can’t explain it theologically. All I know is that sometimes God gives an Isaac to an Abraham and then asks him to put that same Isaac back on the altar. I don’t know why. Other than, it’s an attitude check of are we keeping God as God, and willing to continue to serve Him even if He takes away everything that we thought was His goodness towards us. And yes, in that case Abraham got his Isaac back but that’s not always the case. Job never got those same kids back that were slain. Yes God blessed him in other ways but he never got. Do you think he missed those kids? Absolutely. He never got the same ones back, his same family back. 

And Job’s answer is what I want you to keep in mind for this last point, is that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. I can’t tell you what your story is going to look like, but I can tell you it’s not going to look like what you think it’s going to look like. There will be plot twists that you wouldn’t have chosen, but that God did for whatever reason in His sovereignty, He has decided to put in there. And remember this point as we discuss the life of Job and Joseph and in the podcast on, Put Down the Pen, remember this point that you’ll never experience God’s goodness unless you’re content with God’s Godness. Watch your attitude. Keep God being God. Keep Him in his place. He has the right to give. He has the right to take. And this is not something that is just limited to up until the marriage relationship He could take that person. It’s even afterwards. God at any point could take your spouse and you would have to still be willing to serve Him as many widows and widowers do. So from the time you first start praying about someone on they always need to say on the altar, God retains the right to take back what you feel He has given. 

So our main points from this, don’t ask until it’s time. But when it’s time and you feel like God may be leading for an imminent move in this direction towards marriage or beginning this relationship. And when it’s time, get desperate before the Lord, but remember who you are and the fact that you’re biased, and the fact that you need to show respect to another person in the relationship who also needs to, when it’s time, who also needs to find God’s will in the situation. Do your homework, but show some respect. But then finally, remember who God is, nd be ready to give back. He retains the right, anything that He has given you, He retains the right to take back with no reason at all, and you must still serve Him as God. Keep that person eternally on the altar. 

The Lord gives and the Lord may take away, but still, blessed is the name of the Lord. And as Job also said, though he slay me, yet will I trust in him. That needs to be our attitude. You’ll never experience God’s goodness until you’re content with God’s godness. He is sovereign. Don’t play God. Let Him write your story. 

Well that’s it for today and for this series. But again, please feel free to reach out and shoot me an email satisfied@theegeneration.org. If you have some other question or situation you’d like to talk through, maybe you have a point of encouragement, something that God has shown you through this or another perspective. Please share those things. I’d be happy to talk that through with you. If it’s something you want to work through with a phone call, we can discuss that as well. Shoot me an email, satisfied@theegeneration.org. 

Next month we’ll be moving from an emphasis on emotional purity and covering a little more broadly just in purity, but I want to focus on stories and testimonies of deliverance. I think it’ll be an exciting series of podcasts as we work those through and actually hear from others. that have been delivered and are being delivered, and so I trust that you look forward to those as well. But until then, God bless you on your journey to be less gratified and more satisfied with Jesus Christ.