Janna Faith: Hello, I’m Jana Faith, and I’m Anna Faith, and welcome to episode 43 of Faith Talks. Well, we have an exciting episode here. jen and i are back together for another podcast actually in person i think the last one we did was sometime maybe even last year i don’t think we’ve ever been together in person for this year and our series this year so we’re actually going to get back to our series we’ve taken a little break with some special episodes if you haven’t listened to those listen to some you can go ahead and listen to those about our trip over to fiji and we have an exciting special one with um the pastor’s wife that we were able to stay with there. So you’ll have to listen to that if you haven’t yet. Her testimony is amazing. So we’re getting back to our topic on faith over fear and different fears that we face and how we can use God’s word and combat those fears. So today we’re going to

Anna Faith: be talking about the fear of communication. And this is really a fear that you’re going to deal with every day, as you well know, you have to communicate to survive unless you’re a hermit that lives in the woods and doesn’t like to talk to anybody. But you use that something you’re going to encounter a lot. And maybe you might have a fear over a setting, maybe a certain setting you kind of freeze in. Maybe it’s a certain person you struggle communicating with them or a topic you don’t feel comfortable communicating. So just a lot of different fears today, we’re going to be talking about those fears in communication and just principles and verses of just God’s wisdom on how to deal with that fear of communication. And I don’t know about you all, but when I think of communication and Bible verses, I think of James 3 and just that passage on the tongue. I love how verse 2, it says, for in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same as a perfect man and able also to bridle the whole body. Just that picture of it’s so easy to offend people with your words. And the Bible is saying here, if there is a man out there who doesn’t offend people with his words, like, wow, he’s a perfect man. And I think we can pretty easily say that there’s nobody out there like that. I think all of us have said something that offended somebody. And just the concept of if you’re able to bridle your tongue and if you’re able to control your tongue that really leads to you controlling your whole body and um just submitting that to the lord so i also like the picture where it talks about how tongue is a fire you think of how each year fire destroys so many things you think of destroying houses or people you might have seen who have been burned terribly and fire when you take it um in the wrong setting and use it it really destroys and it’s the same way with your with your tongue really the words as you say, can completely destroy someone. So just recognizing that our communication, the way we talk, is a huge deal.

Janna Faith: Yes. And so in thinking of that, we realize, wow, our tongue and our communication is so important and it’s powerful. It’s one of the most powerful things we have as human beings to communicate and in the relationships that God has given to us. So you may be listening to this and you’re like, yeah, I know that that’s so powerful and so important. Communication is so important. That makes me so afraid of it. And we have so many fears when it comes to communication. If you think about it, you’re communicating every single day. And you have so many relationships that you’re trying to communicate well, even just thinking of texting on your phone, you know, using the right emojis to communicate the right things that you’re trying to. There’s just so many, like on a phone call, there’s so many different ways that we communicate every single day. And we have, we definitely all have fears when it comes to communication. And I know for me, I’ve had so many fears and even not just fears in who I communicate with, but sometimes even how I communicate. Sometimes I feel like I don’t communicate well at all. And so I just want to close up and not communicate to anybody. So let’s just dive into some specific fears that me and Jan have just done a little brainstorm thinking of the fears that we may all face every day. And let’s just talk about some of these different specific fears. And then we’re just going to give some verses and just allow God’s truth and his word to help us grow and help us choose faith when it comes to these specific fears. So the first ones we’re going to look at is just the topic of who we communicate with. Maybe one fear we may all have is to not go to the right people about something that we should be going to them about. So a lot of times we like to go to our friends instead of going to our parents or the proper God-given authorities. The verse that we are thinking here, Ephesians 6 verse 2, Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise. And when you think of your relationship with your parents, obviously we are to obey them. But how do you honor them? and I think in a lot of ways we honor our parents by developing close relationships with them and in our relationships with our parents we need to communicate and I know in my life and I’m sure Janet could talk about this too every time I have communicated with my parents I haven’t regretted it I know that I did the right thing and so many times we have problems that we’re working through or even just things in our own mind that we kind of feel embarrassed about communicating to our parents. And sometimes we’ll go to our friends instead of our parents. And realizing that here in scripture, it’s talking about honoring our parents. And when we communicate with our parents, we will have blessing. The next verse goes on to say that it may be well with thee, that you may live long on this earth. and just talking about how much God blesses us when we honor and communicate with our parents. Another fear you may have is to not go directly to somebody that was involved in something. Maybe you go to another friend who you just always talk to. But looking back at James 3, talking about how when we don’t communicate right, We are going to set on fire something that wasn’t supposed to be set on fire and realizing that when we don’t communicate to the right people, we can blow up so many things. There’s so many stories of problems because somebody went to the wrong person. And so these are just, these aren’t even, this is just truth that we’re sharing with you in these settings, maybe these fears that you have, ask God to give you the faith to go to the right people, maybe your parents or a trusted God-given authority, a pastor, your pastor’s wife, and go to that right person. Choose faith in those areas and don’t live in fear about who you

Anna Faith: should communicate with. I think another huge thing is how to communicate. You might say, okay, I know who I need to communicate to, but like, how do I do this? There’s so many different fears of even like, if I try talking to them, they’re not going to understand. Maybe there’s even an age difference. You know, you might be like, here I am a teen. I’m really struggling with this teen thing. Like my parents can’t possibly understand there’s these old people or my pastor’s wife. She seems way too godly. Like she couldn’t understand what I’m going through right now. And just that fear of I’m not going to be able to say the right thing. I’m not going to be able to say it the right way. And one passage I really loved is Exodus 4. And here’s Moses and he comes to God and he says, I can’t, I can’t be your messenger to Pharaoh. I can’t be this important person who’s saying all these words to the people. He’s like, I can’t do it. I, my, I’m not very skilled with my speech. And I think a lot of times I feel like that too. It’s just like, I, I have something I want to communicate, but I just think I can’t, can’t quite get all the words. And just how the Lord promises him and says, I will be with your mouth. And God even says like, okay, Moses, who made your mouth? And of course, Moses has to say, oh, it was God. God made my mouth. Okay, well then he, God promises, I’ll be with your mouth. I’ll put words in your mouth. I’ll teach you what you should say. And just that concept of if you’re scared of how to communicate, probably your focus is on yourself of like, oh, I don’t know if I can do it. Put your focus on the Lord and be like, okay, God, you made my mouth. And I know you want me to do this. So you’ve got to give me the right words to say. And then take that step. Don’t just wait for, I don’t know, something to hit you on the head. go to the person and just try open up and try to communicate um I think part of it too is maybe just being afraid that they’re going to misunderstand you I know it’s very vulnerable when you choose to open up say if I open up about this they’re just going to misunderstand me and I think of just part of that is realizing well if you never communicate then you’re probably going to be misunderstood even more than if you try to communicate so just opening up and becoming vulnerable in that area. I will say one thing that helps with communication is to speak with grace and give people the benefit of the doubt. I love Colossians 4, 6. It says, let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man. And really, in a lot of communication, you have to give people grace. And just, it’s so easy, I think, especially as girls will be like, oh, wow, that person’s over there looking at me. they’re totally judging me and it’s like how do you actually know that you know we like to think we can know whatever other people are thinking or we you know sing a special in church and we’re like wow that person was frightening they well maybe they had a bad day maybe it had nothing to do about your your song you were singing and it’s so we’re so easy to judge but um just let your let your speech and really your attitude and just the way you think just be giving people grace and um room that they can just give them a benefit of the doubt that they’re thinking positively um and just with this all just remembering what second corinthians where um paul’s talking my grace is sufficient for thee for my strength is made perfect in weakness and this is paul saying i’m gonna glory in my infirmities i’m gonna glory in that i’m not a good communicator or i’m not what I really want to be glory in that, that the power of Christ may rest upon you. So just with this fear of how to communicate, taking it to the Lord and saying, God, you’ve got to help me to know how to communicate. And one last thing, when you’re talking to authorities, sometimes it’s easy. You can communicate everything you think you need to communicate. And you’re like, oh, I still don’t think they quite understood what I’m doing. And you know, really, at the end of the day, it’s your responsibility to do what’s right. It’s your responsibility to communicate what you feel like the Lord’s put on your heart. But at the end of the day, maybe they’re not going to understand completely. And God is the ultimate judge. So if you are communicating what you need to communicate, then you can be free that, hey, I did what the Lord wanted me to do.

Janna Faith: Another fear that we have is in our communication, what to communicate. Sometimes maybe we’ve done something that we’re ashamed about, And we feel like we can’t tell the truth. Well, let’s realize together that in God’s eyes, we are all filthy sinners. And he already sees, he already knows our state. He knows what’s happened. And why not just tell the truth? And that’s where blessing is found. Psalm 14 verse 3 says that we are all gone aside. We are all together becoming filthy. There’s none that doeth good, no, not one. And I think sometimes we like to feel, we like to think about ourselves that we are better than we really are. And I think if we can realize, you know what, I’m just a broken, filthy sinner and see ourselves that way, which is very, very hard. I think it takes our whole lives for the Lord just to continue to grow our need for him. But if we can realize that, you know what, I am a sinner and I have problems, then that’s going to help us realizing, you know what, I need to tell the truth. And just realizing in Proverbs, there’s several verses about telling the truth and how And just realizing that when we speak truth, we show forth what God has done in our lives. And who Jesus, who is now inside of us, he is our righteousness. We show forth him, who he is, when we speak the truth, even if it’s really hard. Another verse, Proverbs 12, 19. the lip of truth shall be established forever but a lying tongue is but for a moment um and just understanding that when we are not completely honest um we are we are telling lies and that’s in parables 12 22 lying lips are an abomination to the lord but they that deal truly are his delight so just realizing and communicating we will be blessed and god blesses us when we share the truth even if it’s hard, but that’s where we find blessing in our lives. Another fear we may have is saying the hard things that need to be said. Maybe it’s to some friend who we feel we want to be really close. We don’t want them to push them away. But the Bible talks about we are a true friend when we are encouraging them, even if it’s bringing up things that we see that aren’t right in that friend’s life. Proverbs 27, 6, faithful are the wounds of a friend. And I think we’re not a true friend if we’re not confronting them in moments when they need to be confronted. You can think of the story of Nathan and David when David had sinned with Bathsheba and Nathan coming to him and speaking the truth. And Nathan was a really good example of one who came and was gracious, used that story, and then confronted David in that point. But we see Nathan’s graciousness in how he communicated with David. He didn’t just come and yell at him and say, you’re such a sinner. But he came and graciously used that story to point out the sin in David’s life. And so that’s another fear that we may have. But realizing that when we are living a life of faith and asking God for grace in confronting our friends or the people around us, that that’s the place of blessing and God’s going to bless us in those ways. I know one thing my mom would always

Anna Faith: say is your friends will thank you later. And she would give the illustration of maybe one of your friends, what if they’re sneaking out of their bedroom to go meet up with a guy, you know, and you you tell their parents that your friend’s not going to like you in the moment. But years down they’re going to come to you and say, wow, thank you. You, you know, you saved me. I could, I don’t know where my life would be if you hadn’t have told the, you know, told the parents that truth. And I think it can be easy to be like, oh, I don’t want to be a tattle, you know. But when it’s something serious like that, really speaking, speaking the truth and love is, it could really save your friends. The last fear we’re going to look at is just when to communicate. And there are scenarios when communication is really what’s needed to unlock a lot of things and I think of just the simple the simple scenario of someone offended you there needs to be communication there or maybe you offended someone else you did something that needs somebody and you’re like wow they’re so mad at me because of what I did you need reconciliation in both of those I think of Ephesians 432 be kind one to another tenderhearted forgiving one another even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you um and I think I mean these are even in storybooks of where an entire town would get on you know two people had an argument and then different of the town would jump on jump on the bandwagon of the two towns and it would be this big rift of whatever and it’s so easy for us to be bitter and to be like well I never want to talk to that person again You know, I’ve thought that before, if not said that. I remember I’ve said that a couple of times to my siblings, which is really the dumbest thing you could ever say, because of course you have to talk to your siblings for the rest of your life. But it can be easy to harbor that bitterness. But I love Ephesians where it’s saying, OK, why should you forgive? Should you forgive because really you’re right, they’re wrong? And, you know, it can be easy to be like, oh, well, I can hold this grudge because actually it was their fault, not mine. OK, is that why? Bible says you should forgive no so you should forgive because Christ forgave you and think about all the things you’ve done in your life that God can’t be easy for Jesus to like get better at you like they’ve done all this sin they don’t even love me and forget about them but you see his tender heart of forgiving the sins of the entire world the people who crucified him and so thinking about that for your life there’s no okay I can only forgive these people not these people no it’s everybody that God calls us to forgive too um and just a quick story from my life personally there was someone I struggled with bitterness towards for a couple years and the Lord really dealt in my heart probably a year after the bitterness started and I got it right like I remember going forward an invitation and surrendering it and saying like Lord I give you everything I’m not I’m not going to be bitter towards that person. And I can honestly say I wasn’t, but I never felt completely free from it. And I remember I saw the person. It was not somebody I saw on a daily basis. I saw them about two years later at a conference. And the Lord very clearly in a message said, you need to go talk to them. You need to go communicate that you’ve forgiven them because it was the kind of thing they knew I was upset at them. And so I was like, I can’t. It was so long ago. I don’t want to go bring this back up. And it was so clear. It was one of the most clear things I’ve ever had in my life. And I remember after the service, I went and talked to them and said, you know, I know. And I know you know that I was angry at you. And I forgave you a couple years ago. But I just want to communicate that, that I’m forgiving you. And I want our relationship to be fine. And that was huge for me. I think just taking that step. And then just if I never even struggled with that person or that bitterness at all. And the Lord really freed me. But it took that step of saying, okay, I’m going to communicate. It’s not just going to be something I’m going to do in my heart because it did involve another person. And then just one other thing. Some of you might struggle with sharing deeper spiritual things. And I know when I was in junior high and even into high school, it was hard. Like it’s hard to become vulnerable and even share what God’s doing in your heart with your parents or maybe your friends or even youth pastor’s wife or whatever. But I would encourage you to just start small and take steps. I went to camp last week with some of the teens from our church, and there was a seventh grade girl that just came back, and she was like, I don’t, I’ve never done this before. Like, I don’t even know what to say. And I was asking her what the Lord’s doing in her heart, and just talking about that. And she’s like, I haven’t really talked about spiritual things before with anybody. And, but I really appreciated her heart to try. And, you know, even if it’s just saying a few words about what God’s doing in a message, you know, going to your parents and saying, hey, in the message last night i i liked how the preacher said this or at a dinner table saying something or texting a verse to a friend just like start small and take step and it will become more natural and easy to to share jesus with people but it can maybe feel awkward at first but i would encourage you to just take take a step this week um to share something the lord’s teaching with you with somebody else um okay we’re gonna move into our application i guess that would be an application right there to just share a spiritual something with somebody else. Another thing you might say, okay, I have all these things that happened in the past. I want to communicate to my parents, or I want to tell my friend something, but it’s really hard for me to really tell her what I think because she interrupts me or something. One thing that’s helpful for that is to write a letter. And no one can interrupt a letter, right? And write it all out. Explain what you want to explain, ask forgiveness, and then just give it to somebody and maybe put it on your parents’ dresser. Or if it’s a friend, give it to them. And that’s just the way you can be able to communicate really deep things and really have a little more time to put thought into it if you feel like, wow, I really want to say this right. Another idea is to just text somebody. So say you text your friend and say, hey, I need to talk to you tomorrow after school. Okay, then that allows them to be like, hey, you said you wanted to talk to me about something. and then you’re like hey you know I need to apologize about this it just makes it easier than kind of being in a conversation be like how do I say like I want to apologize to my friend but my friend’s telling jokes and eating candy like how do I bring that up when we would sit with your parents so even just texting saying like hey can we can we talk sometime is as helpful another thing

Janna Faith: is just to pray for those relationships that you have pray for others um Colossians 4 the verse talking, Janet brought up before, let your speech be always with grace. A couple verses before, it says, continue in prayer and watch in the same with thanksgiving. And I think one way that’s going to help us have speech that’s always with grace and knowing how to answer every man is to just pray for others. And I find when I pray for other people, that frees me in my relationships. And when I just bring whatever feelings or whatever problems I am experiencing in that relationship, if I just before the Lord that I’m going to have freedom in my relationships with them and even in how I communicate with them. And then just lastly, just pour out your heart, pour out your fears before the Lord in your, in your relationships and how you communicate. And I know there’s, we all probably feel great weakness when it comes to just communicating and just pour all that out before him and just share your heart with the Lord. Proverbs, Psalm 62, verse 8 says, trust in him at all times, ye people, pour out your heart before him. God is a refuge for us. And just let him know how you’re doing, what you’re struggling with, and the fears and communication that you’re facing. And God’s going to be that rock for you. He’s going to be that refuge for you. So as we conclude here. Just a thought as we finish. Realize that your communication is not about you, but pray and ask God that it would be God-focused and not you-focused. And a lot of our things, a lot of our fears, most of our fears revolve around us. And just ask God, you know what, Lord, can you give me a focus about you in my life and specifically in regards to communication? And just bless people with your speech and ask God just that he would change your perspective. Thinking as we finish Ecclesiastes 12 13, let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter. Fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of man. When we choose to put God first, to fear him first and foremost in every single relationship and how we communicate, we are going to experience a life of blessing and that’s what the essence of our lives come down to, fearing him and bringing glory to his name. So as you communicate and grow in your communication and combat the fears that you’re facing in regards to communication, remember that faith doesn’t just talk. Faith walks.