Ryan Swanson: Hello and welcome once again to the Satisfied program here on Thee Generation Podcast. This is our fifth episode and we’re continuing our discussion on accountability. One of the greatest misused, if not unused, tools in the battle for moral integrity. The last couple of podcasts we’ve looked at how often this accountability should be. That was in the podcast entitled Never Alone.

And then we looked at who the accountability should be with. And that was in the threefold court, our final or our most recent podcast last month. But now we’re going to look at. What exactly should be communicated during these times. And this is going to be addressing really a problem within our accountability that makes it so ineffective.

And this problem that we’ll be addressing is that our accountability is far too subjective. It’s too vague. At best, someone might have called us in the past and asked, how did you do in purity today? Accountability partner maybe it’s once a week that they were supposed to… Checking with us.

So let’s say they did that they called us up where they met us at church at school and They just asked hey, how did you do in purity today, man? And you reply I did well and that’s the end of it that part it probably doesn’t want to dig into it any further and You don’t want to necessarily get into any further detail. So that’s all it is and In your mind and in his mind you accomplish the purpose of that accountability however Your reply, I did well, could mean so much. Now by that I did well, you might mean that I took a double glance at a jogger, but I didn’t stare long, so I did well. I might have entertained a thought about her later, but I eventually got victory, so I did well.

I may have indulged in physical gratification that night, but it was the first time this week, so I did well. We say I did well, but we really mean I did better than I did last week. There’s a big difference though. Compromise this week always breeds relapse next week. Anything less than absolute Christ-like purity is a predictable step in the direction of relapse.

If we don’t fight the battle on that level, we will be powerless to hold our ground on the next. So we’ve got to find a way to take this incredible tool of accountability that God has given to us. Is His gift to us in this battle. And we’ve got to take this tool and figure out, why is this so ineffective for us? And how do we take this problem of these vague answers and the subjectivity of it and add some honesty into our accountability?

So what we’re gonna find as we… Discuss this and as you evaluate your day more and more up closely, you’re going to find that there’s a series of small compromises that lead to the bigger ones that you’re worried about. Now, why should we be concerned with these small compromises? Again, it might be that quick glance at a jogger. It might be the glance at a billboard.

It might be a thought briefly entertained during the church service. So why do we have to be so concerned with those compromises and communicate those things to an accountability partner? Well, there’s a couple reasons. First of all, the extent of your victory is up to you. And what I mean by that is if you’re fine with that unnecessary occasional glance at that jogger going by, then guess what?

Well, you’re never gonna get victory in that if you’re fine with it. If you’re content with that thought that you indulge in for a few moments during class or church service. Then then you’re sunk and you’re not gonna get victory in it if you’re fine with it So as you evaluate these quote-unquote small compromises in your life throughout the day If you’re wondering what things are really serious like what things you really need to tell your partner just ask yourself am I fine with Doing continuing that habit for the rest of my life. Oh, maybe not every day Maybe it’s once a week once a month, but are you fine with falling? Even in just that small compromise for the rest of your life.

Because what you are content with, you are doomed to live with. So the extent of your victory is up to you. That’s really the first reason why we crack down on these small compromises is because you’re setting the bar for what Christ purity looks like in your life. What absolute purity looks like. And that’s a question I ask myself as I’m evaluating my days.

I’m going through and there’s a small compromise and I’ll ask myself, is this something I’m fine with being an occasional failure in for the rest of my life? And if not, then guess what? I’m going in rates of my accountability partner and sharing that. So the extent of your victory is up to you. What you are content with, you are doomed to live with.

But the other reason to communicate the small things is that they will never stay small. Do remember our discussion, feels like way back, this was in I think the second podcast entitled Buy a Filter or Be a Filter, might have been the third, I can’t remember exactly. But in that podcast we tackled Proverbs chapter five and verse eight, that speaking of the strange woman says remove thy way far from her and come not nigh the door of her house. And we discussed a principle of no toleration from that verse. In other words, Solomon knew that the danger of his sons would be to fall in adultery with a strange woman.

However, his tolerance for that was he didn’t just tell them, don’t fall in adultery with her. In fact, he didn’t even just say, don’t talk with her. He didn’t say, don’t go in her house. He said, don’t go near her house. So he’s saying, if you go on her side of town, you are already beginning down a road of compromise that could get out of control and lead to the adultery that he was so worried about for his sons.

So there’s a principle of no tolerance. We’re not going anywhere close. I don’t care what’s on that side of town. We are not going close to that. So small compromises, they’re probably not going to stay small.

And there’s actually a parallel when you look at Proverbs 23 verse 31, this is in a discussion of drunkenness. And Solomon again warning his sons, but this time of a different type of sin, different type of indulgence danger that he’s worried about. But he uses the same principle when he tells them to not even look at the wine in the cup when it’s red or when it’s when it is fermented and has the power to control them and to make them drunk. So where does he set the bar? Solomon doesn’t say to his sons, come on, guys, you know better than this.

Just don’t drink enough of this stuff to get drunk. No, he goes back further than that, but he doesn’t just say don’t drink it either. In fact, he doesn’t say don’t touch it. He says don’t even look at it. Now, are you going to get drunk by looking at it?

Well, maybe, because that’s the first step. Solomon, in his God-given wisdom, knew that compromise always starts small, but leads towards much bigger, drastic, dangerous, life-altering decisions. So just how small then do these compromises start? Maybe you’re at a point where you’re totally willing to get help and accountability and whatever those small compromises are. But what do those look like?

Well, our next podcast is going to be focused on the smallest compromises. It’s going to take a look at actually what is happening inside our brain, even some of the neuroscience on what is actually going on in our brain, that initially starts the path towards a relapse. But that’s coming next month and I really don’t have time now to go into that. So let’s just set that aside and just know that the smallest level of compromise, we’re going to discuss that next time. I’m really excited.

It’s one of my favorite discussions because it has been a huge help to me and other guys as well. So we’ll talk about that next time in a discussion from Romans chapter eight. But right now I want to briefly walk you through what it would look like to keep accountable in small compromises. To have a system that is not so subjective where we can just get away with so much and really not be helped at all by our accountability. So this is a system that has been slowly developed over the past couple of years and I’ve been using it with several guys more and more.

I’ve mentioned to you our frontline accountability groups and so we have those going and. Every one of those uses this system right here I’m about to explain to you. So it’s not that it’s a perfect system, but it’s much better for sure than what we’re used to with accountability. So let me explain this to you really quickly. In every area that you’re struggling, we have a scale of one to 10 on how you did in that area.

So when I check in, I’m giving my rankings on a scale of one to 10 for the last 24 hours in those areas. For instance, if someone, if viewing is their issue, then they would have, pretty much everybody has viewing and thoughts as at least those two scales. If self-gratification is an issue, then you’re adding a third scale. And honestly, all of the guys I’m working with have that with a third scale as well. So the scale of one to 10 and how you did in those areas.

But there might be other things. For instance, there’s some guys I’m working with that honesty is really a problem for them and they’ve discovered as. We talked about and as Dr. Jim talked about in his co-infections of moral impurity message, remember I’m talking about honesty and how that is something that’s degraded by compromises in moral purity. So I’ve got one guy right now who every day has a fourth category.

He’s staying accountable in honesty on a scale of one to 10. But let’s focus specifically on the viewing and the thought life. So. The temptation itself, when that comes to you, the temptation itself is not a sin. We know that Jesus himself was tempted in all points like as we are yet without sin.

So it’s not the temptation that is sin. But on a scale of one to ten, one being the greatest level of compromise and ten being complete Christ-like purity. So really, what a nine is in that smallest level of compromise, that’s what we’re going to talk about next time. So, but let’s say putting ourselves in a compromising position, making provision for the flesh, that would be a seven or eight. So even if we don’t see a temptation, but we’ve set ourself up for failure, that would be a seven or eight.

So this might include being online alone, laying in bed after the alarm goes off, or taking an unnecessary glance at a jogger, unsure even if it’s a man or a woman, but it’s a glance you didn’t need to take. It was unnecessary and you know if that was a woman, maybe it turned out to be a man, but you still are gonna give a seven or eight rating on that because it could have been a woman, but because you took that glance wondering if it was and knowing that that could be a struggle for you if it was a woman that’s not dressed correctly, then that was something that was not necessary and thereby it was a compromise. A small compromise, but it was. A seven or eight on the scale because it was a way that you set yourself up for failure even though you did not indulge in it at all. So that would be a seven or eight.

So what about a brief indulgence in a temptation that was unexpected? It might have been a second glance at a billboard, spending a few seconds on an immoral thought while sitting at work. That would be a five or six on the respective scale. Something, that came across your way, you didn’t go looking for it, it came across your way, and it might have just been a few seconds before you realized what was going on. A quick indulgence in that before turning away, that would be a five or six on the scale.

So what about an extended indulgence in an unexpected temptation? This could be an ad that pops up, not something you went searching for, but this is something came up unexpected, but you click on that ad, and you do spend time indulging in that. That would be a three or four, on the viewing scale. Now what if you’re sitting in church, an unexpected thought pattern comes across your mind, but you follow that. You might be in class, whatever the case may be, driving, but you follow that and you spend an extended period of time indulging in that.

Even though you didn’t search for it, or weren’t looking for it, or trying to think of that, that would be a three or four on the thought scale then. And then finally, the intentional search for any kind of sexually stimulating material. The intentional fantasizing in one’s mind would be a one or a two on the scale or some will just say, man, I got zeros. So that’s what that would be. When you’ve actually searched for it, so it was intentional and you’ve indulged in it, that would be a one or two on the scale.

So this system, I’m not saying is bulletproof, but I’m just saying it is one that is helping guys. It was a huge help to me, still is. And I know 100 % it is much more accurate, biblical and helpful than what 99 % of guys who are staying accountable are doing. So when you check in with this system, again, this is a quick conversation. Doesn’t need to be long.

You give your rankings in the two, three, four, however many categories you’re staying accountable with. You give those rankings real quick. I would encourage you think about them ahead of time so you’re not talking to the person and… Still trying to think it through. Well, it might have been this, let me see.

Oh yeah, I did that. So they can drag out, take too long. So think about it ahead of time. Come to the conversation ready. Say hey man, I had a 10 in thoughts, but in viewing, sat down to YouTube and wasted some time there.

It was surfing through different videos. And even though I didn’t see anything wrong that was really setting myself up for failure, so that’d be a seven or eight there, just so you know. Okay, that’s all this conversation has to be, that part of it. There’s going to be more as far as if someone has a five or a six that really requires some action and action step on that. And I will explain more of that.

It’s going to have to have to be a different podcast. That’ll probably be in two months. Let me say this. If you’re getting serious about this now and you’re really wanting to dive into into this and get help, I have written out it’s not extensive. It’s kind of It’s quickly done, but it’s a summary of the system that we use here.

And so I would be happy to send that to you if you want to email me at satisfied@theegeneration.org and just simply ask for the frontline battle plan that we’re using. I would be happy to send that to you. That’s going to explain some things we’ve already talked about and some things we haven’t yet. It’s only a couple of pages. It’s not super extensive, but I think it could help you out.

I don’t want to leave you hanging on these things when I’m sure that there’s people that are really thirsty for this material. Know there are. I’ve already heard from some of you. I appreciate you emailing in when you’re touched by something and something’s been a help to you or different questions you may have. I’m more than happy to talk to anyone and to share from personal experience and things the Lord’s taught me.

So again, that’s satisfied@theegeneration.org. If you would like a copy of this frontline battle plan and I can send that out to you. Again, that’s satisfied@theegeneration.org. So let me know if you have questions or if you want a copy of this frontline battle plan. I can send you a PDF of that.

Again, it’s nothing fancy. This is just something I put out quickly to be available for guys if they needed something right away as part of this. So feel free to reach out to me and ask for that. Well guys, I hope this has been helpful as we tackle the aspect of our accountability that so many of us miss and that is the communication of the small details, the small compromises, those compromises that really ultimately we’re not content with and we want gone. And then also they’re going to be leading towards greater compromises.

So if we’re going to get serious about the big things, we’ve got to get serious about the small things. And we do that with a simple scale of one to 10 in the areas we struggle with. It’s been extremely helpful for us and I trust it will be for you as well. Well again, reach out to me with questions or comments, satisfied@theegeneration.org. And we’ll look forward to talking to you next month on Satisfied for a discussion of the mind and what that smallest compromise, a nine on the scale, what that actually looks like.

Now I checked and that podcast is actually scheduled for one week after my wedding. So you can be sure I’m going to record that before the wedding, but you’ll have to wait and hear it afterwards on July 17th. Well, I hope this discussion has been helpful for you in your battle towards moral integrity. And remember, keep turning to Jesus this week to be less gratified and more satisfied.