Ryan Swanson: Hello and welcome to the Satisfied program here on the Thee Generation Podcast. And I’m happy you’ve joined us here once again. I’ve got something special and exciting for us in this podcast to tell you about in just a minute. But quickly, just a news update. I’ve been mentioning on the Cord app that we have a version 2.0 coming out soon. That version is now built. In fact, some of you have seen a soft release of a few features, but the big rollout is coming, Lord willing, within the next two weeks. So be ready for that. I’m excited about a couple new things we are adding into that. If you are on our email chain, you’ll be getting an email letting you know about what those features are. I think it’s going to be really helpful to focus on consistency, consistent accountability, which is really the only way it can be effective. Look for that coming up soon here, version 2.0 on the cord. I’ve got a visitor with me right now. This was kind of last minute, but I’m happy to have brother Jeremiah Acosta, or Jerry, as we call him. Or lately, the name Randy has been used. So I guess we’ll go by Randy. That’s the new one. But anyway, good to have Jerry with us. And Jerry is actually staying in our house right now. And he was homeless for a couple of days.

Ryan Swanson: No, no, not really.

Ryan Swanson: He’s been ministering in our church. And we’ve really enjoyed having him here at Fellowship Baptist Church. But I thought it’d be good to get his thoughts here on the podcast. I’ve enjoyed hearing him preach. He’s really focused on prayer a lot and a focus in our church, and I’ve appreciated that. But I asked him if he had some thoughts or testimony in the area of purity, and so we briefly discussed it, and he prayed it over in a few minutes, had something he was ready to share. So, Jerry, it’s good to have you, and go ahead and tell us what’s on your heart here.

Guest: So one thing that as I’ve been just working through the decision to, because that’s one of the biggest things as I’ve been serving here at Fellowship is just love the ministry and have enjoyed the time here. It was really only supposed to be a short-term position until Joseph Henderson returned and came officially on staff. I was praying through, you know, just like, all right, what am I going to do afterwards? And then as time kind of went on, the possibility of me staying on at the church came up and the church voted on it and everything. And there’s a lot of positivity there. And so that has come across my path in the last two, three months. I’ve been praying through that decision. And one of the biggest things that I’ve learned within that time period is just the, or I’ve just been growing in my seeking of God, wanting to know his will. and many times in in life especially as you get to college age or a little bit past college your biggest one of your biggest burdens is all right I’ve just got to find out God’s will whether it be you know what ministry you’re supposed to be in or what vocation you’re supposed to be doing who you’re supposed to marry that kind of thing and for much of my time in college and much of my time after college has been that has been all right God I just got to find your will and that’s not a wrong thing at all that is completely right you ought to be doing that but something I’ve learned And one thing that even that pastors mentored me about is just the importance of focusing on my relationship with God over anything else. In that your focus as a Christian should not be, I need to know God’s will, which yes you do, that is 100% true. But your whole purpose of living is knowing and seeking God more intimately than anything or anyone else. That is why we’re here as Christians, of course, to spread the gospel as well. And so I got to thinking about that just in terms of, you know, as I’m seeking the Lord, praying through, where do I go? Do I stay? Do I go home? Do I go somewhere else? And it just, it became a source of frustration. How do I know God’s will? And I got confronted about that fact that I was seeking doing the right thing over seeking a person, seeking to follow and know the Lord more personally in just my own private time of prayer and devotions and that kind of thing. And one thing, of course, as being a post-college student is, you know, you’re praying through, all right, Lord, you have somebody that I can marry or somebody that you want me to seek and pray for that. and that kind of principle of seeking God over seeking his will, at least in terms of priority, I found that that even that applied there as well, that yes, you need to know God’s will for who you’re supposed to follow, or excuse me, who you’re supposed to marry and pray towards in that direction, but I’ve learned within the last two, three months especially that I need to know God above anything else. I need to know God above his will, what he wants me to do, because if I know God, then he’ll give me everything I need. He’ll provide for me, you know, finances and all that kind of thing. He’ll give wisdom and direction for where I’m supposed to serve, what my vocation ought to be. And if I know God, he’ll give clear direction for who I’m supposed to marry or, you know, what opportunity to pursue in whatever area. And God just really hit me over the head with that, that I was getting so stressed out and frustrated about, I just don’t know what direction to go in here, what to do here, and who to talk to here. And, you know, I would seek counsel from so many people. And I actually found that all that counsel, which the Bible says that in the multitude of counselors are safety, but there’s probably another verse that mentions it somewhere. But I also found that all those counselors or all that counsel brought me a lot of frustration. And they’re probably all different. Yeah, exactly. A lot of them are different. Some of them would be lining up and I’m like, okay, this is God’s will. And then I find another opinion and it was the opposite.

Ryan Swanson: I’m thinking, you’ve got to be kidding me. Like, God, I thought you were lining things up. It’s like there are times in your life where it seems like you can just follow the counsel, just do whatever they say. But there comes a point and it’s part of maturing where God doesn’t allow that. Yeah. He says, okay, you can only be a yes man for so long before it really comes down to your own personal relationship with Christ. And like you said, that’s still in light of counsel from other, that never stops. One thing I noticed with my dad, when I got married and then realized all these other responsibilities and everything, And then I’m calling him to ask for advice. And he stopped telling me exactly what to do. That’s funny. When I felt like I needed it more than ever. But that’s often how it is. But yeah, when you ask for counsel from so many places and it seems like it’s all different. And it’s like, oh, junk. I’m actually going to have to get this straight from the Lord this time. Exactly. But it’s not a bad place to be.

Guest: Yeah, and that’s literally where I’ve come down to is, okay, I’m like, all right, I’ve got this opinion, this opinion. Like, this is all good. This is all encouraging. And then another opinion would come. And I go back to Pastor Partey like, Pastor, what do I do? And he would point me right back to, you’ve got to get it from God. And I would just take time in my devotions or read a good spiritual book, like Experiencing God. It’s one that I’m reading right now. It’s really helped me. And in the book, it literally tells you, you know, your focus ought to be your relationship with God, knowing him intimately through prayer, through Bible reading, through spiritual books, whatever it is, through church. all these avenues that you have to take advantage of because they all point you back to knowing God. And there’s been so many times where, you know, you sit in the message and you’re like, all right, God, speak to me about this area. And then he does it. And you’re like, man, I really wanted to. But the point is that you shouldn’t be, yes, you want God to speak to you and give you wisdom in that. But your focus should be, how can this message or whatever, how can this draw me closer to knowing God? And then through that, God will give me wisdom or whatever. He’ll give me a peace about something. And so I’ve just found, even the last couple of weeks, just a change in my, I guess, in my spirit where I would be anxious about these things, thinking, what direction do I go? You know, even just the decision of I’m flying home tomorrow. And I was trying to figure out, when do I fly? Do I fly next week or three weeks from now? You know, all these things are like little details that get me frustrated. And then I was like, this the last couple of weeks, just had a peace. Like I can just trust God. Just look to him, seek him. Don’t seek his will first. Seek him first in his word and go to my devotional time thinking, God, I want to know you more. Not God, give me wisdom now. Because that’s a little demanding as well. Obviously, God wants to give us things. But don’t go to God just always asking for things. Just saying, God, can I just know you this morning? Can I experience your joy this morning or peace this morning? And God is, I mean, he’s more than happy to answer any prayer that we have. but his priority is relation or relationship with us and all those other things will come as we seek the relationship first and so when it comes to finding a spouse or just in general just relating with the opposite gender you don’t need to worry about oh is this is this person or this personality or i like this kind of person or this hair color or whatever all these little details we focus on, but we forget that there’s a God who, I mean, He cares infinitely more about who we marry than we do. I know that’s a little bit trite, and I’ve heard that so many times from people, and I just roll my eyes like, okay, whatever. But it’s true. I mean, it’s a catch for it. It’s a cliche, but it’s 100% true. He cares more than we do about who we marry or what vocation we’re in. And so we just need to relate with Him, get in line with what He wants us to do, and knowing Him, seeking Him in His Word, and we’ll get everything that we need from that.

Ryan Swanson: It’s not because those things don’t matter. The desires of your heart don’t matter as far as hair color, eye color, whatever it is. Because many times God created someone for you, and I don’t think it would be surprising to think that we would notice some of the things that He’s created in someone else for us. So it’s not that those things don’t matter, but your point is that God cares about those things too. And if we get caught up on trying to find someone that ticks all our boxes, then we’re very likely going to miss it. God created us with that blueprint, and He knows exactly what it is, and He cares. And I think a verse to summarize everything you’ve said is obviously Psalm 37, 4. delight thyself also in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of your heart. He cares. It’s not even just delight thyself in the Lord, and He’ll give you what He thinks is best. You know, that’s true, and that would be awesome, but He’s actually saying He wants to give us the desires of our heart. He put it there, and He wants to fulfill that. In our series a year ago on emotional purity, we talked about the idea of allowing God to write your story, but in order for him to write the story, you first have to put down the pen. As many times we think we’re seeking so much of God’s will, and we want him to tell us what his will is so that we can write the story, but we’ll always get it wrong. Instead, it’s, God, your will matters so much to me that even though I have all these desires, and especially because I have all these desires, and I’m very likely to go astray in some way, I’m putting down the pen. I’m just going to focus, as you said, on my relationship with you and seeking you and you do the rest. I know that if I delight in you, you’re not going to withhold any good thing from me. And I think it’s significant. It says,

Guest: delight thyself in the Lord, not his will. Yes, you need to find God’s will. But when you delight yourself in him, you will find his will. Yeah. I mean, it’s kind of implied there. That’s good. Yeah. It’s about the person. But yeah, it’s about seeking a person, not seeking a thing or a concept. Yeah. Seeking a person. That’s really significant. Well, that applies to so many areas you’ve already

Ryan Swanson: applied it broadly to finding God’s will in many different areas, including marriage, but other things as well. How could we hone that in and how do you think this same principle applies to someone’s purity journey? Like if they’re struggling with pornography or other areas of

Guest: purity, how do you think that applies? Yeah, so I’d say it’s the principles carry over in a lot of the same ways. So if you’re struggling with viewing, you’re struggling with thoughts, whatever, your focus shouldn’t be, and I actually, I heard this, literally this idea, I was talking with Joseph Henderson yesterday, kind of about this, because we were burdened about something, and he kind of gave this illustration of, you know, if you’re looking at your sin, like, figuratively, if you’re looking at your sin, and you’re backing away from it, well, your focus is still your sin, right? Because you’re still looking at it, even though you’re trying to back away. But if you do a 180, you turn around, you look at the Lord, then your sin is behind you. Now, we’re human, we’re frail, we’re weak, we’re sinful. So we will, at some point, probably look back at our sin. But okay, as the Bible says, just man gets up, falls, falls seven times and gets up. And that’s what we ought to do. When we look back, we say, all right, Lord, forgive me. I should not have done that, or I shouldn’t have thought that, or I shouldn’t have wanted to look that up or whatever. And you just turn right back around. You get there right with the Lord. And you focus on your relationship with God. Not on, oh God, just protect me from this. Because if that’s constantly on your mind of, oh, I just got to be pure today. It often, I’ve found in my life, it’s a bondage in a sense. You’re still, you’re trying to get free from that, from impurity. But you’re making yourself a slave almost to the problem by focusing on it so much, if that makes sense. And so it’s really just a balance of wanting to be free, but not focusing on the desire to be free as much as the person who can free you, if that makes sense. And so when you turn around and stop looking at your sin, stop focusing on it, look back to, I need to have a real love relationship with God, where he’s the only thing I care about. He’s the only thing that I seek to know every single day. He’s why I live. He’s the reason I get up in the morning. because if you can get to that point, or as you get to that, because it’s a journey of life, nobody ever perfectly reaches a 100% perfect love relationship with God. But as you go through that journey of today, I want to just have a relationship with God. I want to know God more. I want to love God more today. As you do that, your desire for impure things will fade away. And I have found that even the last year, I’d say, where I’ve made decisions to put away things that would normally draw me to impure things. One example was within, I think back in February or March or something, I don’t know. I was, I was just finding like, man, I’m just, you know, watching highlights on YouTube or whatever. And I was just like, man, there’s so much garbage here. Like I’m just trying to watch highlights. I’m not doing anything wrong. And I found Satan is just trying to kill you wherever he can. He doesn’t really care what he has to do to, to, to get you. And so I just made a decision whenever it was i was like i just can’t have youtube and so i just completely closed it down i have zero access to it on any of my devices and for a lot of people you know especially of my generation a little bit younger be like that’s you know it’s extreme or oh but you’re missing out and at first that was my thought but i found while i’ve been free of youtube i’m like i’m actually free from YouTube. Not that it’s, it’s a, it’s not frustrating anymore that I can’t watch highlights. Have I missed some highlights? Yes, I have. Do I care at this point? No, I don’t because I don’t have that avenue to seek impure things anymore. And I don’t ever go onto my device thinking, Oh, is YouTube going to, it’s not a temptation because I can’t even access it. And I’m free from that now. Uh, that’s just kind of like a practical thing that that’s kind of practical step. And I think everybody at some point, if you’re on the journey has to take a practical step of that sort where you say I have to completely get rid of this or I need to the opposite maybe add something to my life whether it be like the court app that kind of accountability or some other accountability or whatever it is another thing I did actually again I’m not trying to brag I’m just giving this no this is good but uh over Christmas break I decided you know what I really just need total protection on my phone. And so I got a phone that has zero access to internet, zero. I can’t go on Safari. I can’t go on Google, nothing. And again, some people are like, man, that’s extreme. You know, like, I mean, nobody has said that to me, but most people normally, when you look at that kind of decision, you think that’s extreme. Why are you, you know, being Amish or whatever? It just sounds crazy. And honestly, it’s a Samsung. So it’s a little bit frustrating to work with, but I will say Apple is superior. But anyways, but I have found in the last six months, I have found so much freedom and like, man, I don’t have to worry when I go on my phone, am I going to fall? Because I can’t do it. And on top of that, the desire to do it has diminished in so many ways I can’t even describe. Where normally I would be just scrolling through aimlessly and you’re tempted because you’re Your brain is not engaged in what you’re doing. You’re just scrolling through YouTube reels or whatever it is. And when you don’t have that access, guess what? It’s not going to be a problem for you. It’s really plain and simple. And so I’ve found just those steps that seem kind of dumb. And nobody told me to do it. I honestly didn’t even really pray about it. I was just like, do I want purity or do I not want it? So I took those steps and it took me a little while to figure it out. But as I’ve taken those steps, I found, okay, those steps aren’t going to save me. They’re going to help. But those steps aren’t where I find purity. Those are just safeguards, protections, where I find purity is seeking God. And so in the last couple months, as I’ve had more free time with no YouTube, no internet access as much anyways on my phone, those times that have been free, normally I would just waste time. I’m like, you know what? Let me go read a spiritual book. Let me go pray more. Let me seek the Lord more or whatever. And it’s been through those times that God has just really encouraged me in, not even in the area of purity specifically. Maybe it’s just another area that I’m concerned about. And that kind of spiritual lift that you get isn’t just for that area. So if you’re worried, maybe God will give you peace for that. But it almost, at least for me in my experience, it gives you a spiritual lift as a whole, as a person. And so you get encouraged, generally speaking, not just that, oh, wow, God can give peace, but God can give peace. But he can also give you a clean mind and a clean heart. And he can clean up your desires even, where you normally in this situation, you’d want to take a second look. But immediately when the opportunity comes, you immediately look the opposite direction. And that kind of thing has just been so encouraging to me. Like, wow, even my desires are changing. That’s awesome because I think the biggest thing for me, I felt like when I was really going through the early stages of my journey is like, will the desires ever go away? Like, you know, not even just will I stop looking at stuff or stop thinking, but will it, can I ever get the desires to go away? And the fact is you as a human can’t. Humanly speaking, you can try, but you’re going to fail because your desires naturally are fleshly or sinful. But as you seek God as you know him, I’ve found, and I’m sure many other people have found, that those desires will change. They’ll go the opposite direction, where you want to sin, but now you don’t. And it is just, it’s an awesome experience. And of course, for me personally, I know I’ve got a ways to go. And more ways I know that I need to seek God more, I need to spend more time in prayer or whatever it is. But it’s a really encouraging journey to see things change that you didn’t think could change.

Ryan Swanson: I don’t know if Jerry knows this, but it’s crazy you mentioned that because our very last podcast was focusing on whether it’s possible for desires to change. Which is a huge question, especially when it comes to the thought life. Because people have just kind of resorted to or resigned to the fact that it’s always going to be there’s always going to be a battle. And many times that’s an excuse for perpetual failure at the same time. But even if not, even if somebody’s just really desperately trying to be free to get free in this area, I get asked that all the time. Like, is this ever going to stop? But I really like your focus on that. So it reminds me of in Matthew chapter 5, a Sermon on the Mount, when Jesus said, Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. And I think I’ve mentioned this before, but if I were myself to try to write that verse, I’d probably say something like, Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall be pure. Like that’s the goal, right? And many times those of us that have struggled in this area are so focused on purity that not only is that the only thing spiritually that we can think about or pray about, it’s also we feel like it’s our only sin. Yes. And there’s so many other things that God wants to help us grow in, other areas of selfishness that may be even deeper rooted areas. but we just can’t get past this area of purity, and we feel like it’s our only sin. Like, if I got rid of this, man, I would just be perfect. Like, God would just love me, man. He could use me so much. Of course, we don’t merit that at all with God, but the point here in this verse is, bless you the pure in heart, but why? Well, it’s so you can see God. Like, that is the goal. So then Jesus is the end and the means of our purity. And I think we think more that we understand He’s the means, but He’s also the end. We’re doing it for Him. We’re doing it by Him. And when that is our focus, instead of just be pure, be pure, be pure, then we actually have something to fill the void. There’s a reason our ministry is called Satisfied Ministries and not Abstinence Ministries. Because we’re not just trying to get rid of something. We’re trying to fill the void with Christ. Otherwise, it’s just going to be a vacuum that’s going to fill back right in with what this world is trying to shove down our throats anyway. This has been really good. Jerry, I appreciate your transparency and also giving some, like, practically what this has looked like for you. The idea is not to just, you know, purity doesn’t matter. It’s just about Jesus. So forget about the journey. You know, there are, and we’ve discussed this quite a bit on the podcast, but there’s very practical verses in Scripture about what we should be, the lengths we should be willing to go to in order to not compromise in this area. But the point of it is, the purpose of it is, it’s not just so we can be pure. Because, you know, if we’re going to do this just so that we can be pure and we want to be pure because, well, it would feel better to be pure. And we’d have more time if we weren’t wasting it on scrolling and we weren’t damaging our brains like they tell us is happening. And it’s truly happening through pornography and things. But if that’s the reason you’re trying to be free from impurity, then it’s just not going to work because those are technically selfish motivations. It’s still for myself. It’s so that I can feel better. But the fact is, there’s going to be days where it feels better to be impure. And so if you’re just doing it on feeling and on your motivation, your ambitions, those are all going to fade. But if you’re doing it for Jesus in your relationship with Him, then number one, there’s going to be no length that’s too great to go to. Everything is on the table. The cell phone is on the table. YouTube is on the table. Everything’s on the table. and whatever he puts his finger on, it’s already worth it at that point. Because this isn’t just about feeling better or getting to a point where we have more peace or whatever. It’s not just a lifestyle change for the sake of the lifestyle. It’s for the sake of the person of Jesus Christ who our goal is to be satisfied with completely. Good. All right. Well, thank you, Jeremiah, for joining us on this podcast. and I didn’t mention this, but I knew his brother a little better because I traveled with him with my father-in-law back in the day in the World of Special Forces. So some of the antics here reminds me of Tristan Acosta, who we had nicknamed Guacamole. But anyways, good to get to know Jerry here a little bit better and to have him on the podcast. And I think I’ve only done like one other of these besides having my wife on the podcast. I think Steve Stozak’s testimony was like the only other one. And we got like more listens on that podcast than anything else. So hopefully you do the same for our podcast.

Guest: So I guess I’m the youngest guest then.

Ryan Swanson: Yeah, yeah, that’s true. Yes, yes, baby Acosta. All right, well, thank you for joining us. And I hope this podcast focusing on our relationship with Christ has been helpful for you as we continue in this journey to be less gratified and more satisfied with Jesus Christ.

Ryan Swanson: thanks for joining us for this episode of the thee Generation podcast if you’ve been blessed or helped in any way by this episode or any other episodes please consider sharing what god has done in your life your testimony could be exactly what someone else needs to take their own step out of the boat