Ryan Swanson: Hello and welcome to the Satisfied program here on the Thee Generation Podcast. My name is Ryan Swanson, and I’m thrilled to be diving into episode one as your host. In this podcast, we’re going to do a lot of introduction. This is going to be looking at the theme of being satisfied, and I’m going to be explaining why I think this is at the core of moral integrity.

We’re going to follow a pattern in this podcast that we will attempt to do in every podcast, and that’s look at a biblical principle but then actually apply it. Something that sadly is not often done when it comes to these principles of moral integrity.

I also want this podcast to be one that gives you hope from someone who, in a lot of ways, has been where you are and understands. I’m going to be giving you tools and principles and verses that have been crucial for myself and for many others. Now that I’ve been able to share this with and see other guys come through to victory. This is a pathway to victory that is biblically sound and proven, and I’m excited to see it transform your life as it has mine.

Now before we dive in here, I’ve got to explain, this happens to be a really special day and a special podcast for those of us here at thee generation. It’s for a couple of different reasons, but let me explain. First of all, this happens to be episode number 200 on the Thee Generation Network. Now, that’s pretty cool right there. I definitely see that as a privilege to be doing our first episode on Satisfied on episode number 200 on the Thee Generation Network. I didn’t manipulate to make that happen but if I thought about it I probably would have because it’s pretty neat.

But the other thing is this happens to be today, January 23rd, happens to mark two weeks since I was engaged. And I won’t expound on that too much. I don’t think my fiancé would appreciate it if I talked about what a wonderful, lovely, godly young lady she is and how thrilled I am to be a part of her life. But I will say that I was engaged to Stephanie Van Genderen, Dr. Jim’s oldest daughter, two weeks ago today and that is definitely cause for celebration which we will be doing later today. So anyway, just had to fill you in on those things that make this a little bit extra special for me. And what better way to debut our first episode than with such celebrations going on here. So maybe there’s a couple of you out there that will celebrate with me and share my excitement.

All right. Well, as we dive into episode number one, we’re gonna be in Proverbs chapter 6. Proverbs 5 and 6 are some crucial ones dealing with the strange woman and there’s so many principles that come out of this that we’ll be looking at over the next coming months. But Proverbs chapter 6 specifically, I want to describe where this theme of satisfied came from and how this is at the core I believe of moral integrity.

So we’re looking at Proverbs chapter 6 and verse number 30. It says, “Men do not despise a thief if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry, but if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold. He shall give all the substance of his house.” You know what that verse is saying is that a man who steals food to satisfy the hunger in his soul is not going to be despised. Now there’s a huge consequence for it. He’s got to repay sevenfold. He’s got to give up all the substance of his house, but nevertheless, he’s not despised for it.

Now you may have heard, as I have, different stories of the police officers that go to arrest a robber, and when they get there, they realize that this thief has actually just stolen food because he’s hungry. And he’s stolen to satisfy the need in his own heart. So in these stories I’ve heard, a police officer will then of his own with his own money he will buy them groceries and send them on their way instead of arresting them. I wasn’t sure how many of those stories were true, so I did a, I almost said a Google search. I did a search on it, and I have migrated from Google searches, some of you may have as well. But I did a search on that and the things that came up, just so many stories of that exact same thing happening. So why would a police officer do that? This is someone who’s robbed, you know, maybe a grocery store or something like that. And actually the reason is coming straight from this verse because when someone’s stealing to satisfy a need, while it’s wrong and while there’s a huge consequence, they’re still, they still are not despised for that. Because at least you understand.

But then let’s read on in contrast to someone who’s stealing to satisfy the need in their soul. Then we read verse number 32, “But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.” You’re stealing something that is absolutely destroying you from the inside out, and you know it. It makes no sense, you lack understanding. He’s stupid, Solomon’s saying. So the question comes up, what is that thirst? What is that hunger? Is it legitimate, is it God-given? And the answer is yes. This, inside of every one of us, is a God-shaped hole, a hole that only God can fill, but nevertheless we try to cover it with so many other things, things like pornography, things like drug addictions, even entertainment, different types of entertainment, gaming, even just taking time on YouTube to veg on YouTube videos, those kinds of things distract us and cover up that need for God that is so intrinsic in every one of us.

Just about a month ago, I was in a church prayer meeting, and someone brought up a prayer request for a gentleman who had been coming to church for some time now, but he was kind of known as being an alcoholic. And this person mentioned, you know, he’s been dry for like several weeks and I didn’t know the guy, but it surprised several people in the room that he’d been sober for that long. But then this person in the prayer request just mentioned, you know, this gentleman has said that since he’s been sober he feels so empty inside like there’s something missing, and you know what he’s seeing is that God-shaped hole that has never been filled. The fact is it wasn’t filled with alcohol. It was covered with alcohol. He was just as empty but the need was covered up by a coping mechanism. Something that he was turning to to distract him from the actual need, something that never and this is the key it never satisfied, it gratified, but it never satisfied. And the reason that he’s looking for deliverance from that thing, from his coping mechanism of alcohol, is because he’s realizing it only gratifies, it does not satisfy, and it is something that is destroying him from the inside out.

So let me take this moment then to describe the difference between satisfaction and gratification. Most of us here listening to this podcast are single individuals, and therefore any kind of sexual activity and behavior that you involve yourself in is outside of the biblical bounds of marriage and is therefore completely 100% selfish. It’s all about you and therefore it cannot satisfy. It is all about gratification. It can only gratify you in the moment. It is not going to satisfy anything. And gratification releases a completely different chemical in the brain than satisfaction does. I won’t go into all the neuroscience behind this mainly because I don’t understand it all. And if I start talking about it, you’re not going to understand it because I don’t understand it.

But I do know from reading on this and talking to others that do understand it, there is a chemical released when we seek to gratify ourselves immediately in things like sexual behavior, and it also comes with certain music that releases that. There could be certain activities, certain entertainment that releases that gratification chemical. And what that does is it gives a large peak high at the moment, but it does not last. It does not have longevity to it. And it ultimately is all about us and all about that moment.

But on the other hand, there’s another chemical that’s released in the proper bounds of marriage when even some of those same sexual desires are excited and used. But that chemical is completely different. It doesn’t have as much of a peak high, but instead, it is long-lasting, focuses on the relationship that’s building because it has longevity to it and it lasts longer. The former, the gratification is all about me. But the satisfaction is really a spiritual thing. And it’s learning to be content. It’s learning to have delayed gratification rather than immediate gratification. And ultimately, it’s all about the desires and the best interest of someone else. That’s satisfying.

Sadly what many individuals think, young people who are single, is they think that hole within them that they’re trying to fill with pornography will eventually be filled with their spouse and there is nothing further from the truth. That has been tried by so many individuals and has brought nothing but destruction into marriages, and here’s the reason why. You are feeding a desire that is 100% selfish. With actions that are 100% selfish. And when you take that into marriage and try to replace the lust in the pornography with a spouse, nothing changes. You’re still just as selfish. Your actions are still just as selfish. Your lifestyle is still just as selfish. And your spouse cannot be for you anything that will satisfy.

I’m going to turn over to John chapter four as we look at this aspect of satisfaction even within the bounds of marriage. In John chapter 4, I’m not going to go through the whole story, you know it, you understand it. Jesus is going to a well, he comes across a Samaritan woman, he says, give me to drink. She’s at first surprised that he’s talking to her being, he being a Jew, she being a Samaritan. But then he basically says to her, if you knew who I was, you’d be asking of me for living water, something that could actually satisfy. He says in verse 13, “Whoever drinketh of this water (the water at the well) shall thirst again:” But Verse 14, “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.”

Now why does he use this specific analogy with this woman in particular? Well, it kind of makes sense when he goes on and then kind of makes the application. He asks her to bring her husband, and in doing so, opens up her whole lifestyle that she has been involved in. She says, I don’t have one. He said, Exactly. You’ve had five and the one you’re with is not your husband. Does it sound like the lifestyle she’s been partaking in has been satisfying her? Absolutely not. But she’s been involved in marriages, five different marriages. And has the sexual or love addiction that she may have been satisfied by any one of those marriages? No. None of them. Why? Well, evidently it’s been a completely selfish relationship. Every one of those relationships has been completely selfish and nothing has been able to satisfy. You do think that in six relationships, five marriages and then the last one is the guy that she’s with, you do think that in six of those relationships, she would have figured something out by then and that it would have been able to make it work. Something would have been satisfying in one of those six relationships. But absolutely not. Because there’s nothing other than God who can fill that hole. Six men could not fill that hole that was inside of her. It was a God-shaped hole.

Until you’ve learned to be satisfied with Jesus, you will not be satisfied with any other relationship. It’ll be all about you. You’ll be trying to meet your own needs at the expense of someone else, and it will lead to absolute destruction as it has for so many. So listen up, young people, because this is absolutely crucial.

As you’re looking at the next years of your life, in the next stages, if you can see right now where you have been indulging in areas of impurity that are absolutely selfish because they’re outside of the bounds of marriage and they are completely just feeding your own desires, then we have no right to be looking for a relationship at this point other than Jesus Christ. Your focus at this point needs to be to fill that hole with God. To be satisfied with Jesus and only with Jesus. To bring someone else into this equation right now would be absolutely catastrophic. You’re too selfish.

Dr. Jim right now on the thee generation podcast is going through a series that he calls co-infections of moral impurity. And the first thing, the first point that he talks about is the matter of selfishness and how you cannot separate an impure lifestyle from a selfish lifestyle. It’s all the same. Why? Because you’re seeking gratification. And by gratification, I don’t even just mean in the sexual realm. You’re going to realize that there are many other areas of your life that you are also now very intrinsically selfish because you’ve been promoting, by going to pornography, by going to these different things, you’ve been promoting a lifestyle that’s all about me. And you’ll notice how that has affected you in other areas. Make a decision, a conscious decision, to mortify the deeds of the flesh, to not allow your life to be run based on a desire to be gratified.

Okay, so then the biblical principle that we’ve seen is that there is a huge void in your life that can only be filled by God. And until you’re satisfied with God, you will not be satisfied with any other relationship. So then how do we take this Biblical principle and apply it as a tool to help you see victory this week? This is a part of the pathway to victory. There is a method that many people have used and I’ve not heard it called this, but essentially what it is, is when they’re tempted, they turn and burn. They turn and run as quickly as they can from their temptation to whatever they can get their hands on. And it’s kind of like you can picture Joseph with Potiphar’s wife and when she was enticing him and he just flees and leaves his jacket in her hand. He’s just running as quickly as possible to get away. That is not a wrong thing. That is a very practical and right thing to do to flee the temptation. Absolutely. And honestly, I’ve talked to guys that have been very helped by it. I’ve talked to several guys who are physically built and I’ve asked them what they’ve done to fight impurity and they said that whenever they were tempted they would run to the gym and just start lifting weights. And now there’s actually something to that where some of those same passions and emotions that are built up in your brain can find an adequate pathway of expression through physical exercise. So there’s definitely some benefit to that. However, most of that benefit is going to be physical. Now you are leaving behind the area of lust, but you’re replacing it with a physical benefit. While it’s a great way and should definitely be a part of what you’re doing to combat the moral impurity, I think there’s something better as we seek to be satisfied. Because ultimately, your time at the gym is not going to satisfy you.

You’re never going to be as strong as you want to be. You’re never going to be as built as you want to be. You’re never going to get as many compliments as you want to get based on your gains at the gym. So that doesn’t really satisfy. So this is where there’s a different principle from a book, “The Road to Grace” by Mike Genung. He calls it “turn and connect.” Instead of just turning from something, we’re turning to something, to someone who will satisfy. It’s recognizing, number one, that that temptation that’s coming up is not going to satisfy me at all if I indulge in that. It’s completely selfish. But instead, it’s also recognizing that if I turn to Jesus, he will satisfy. And so it’s pursuing a relationship with Jesus every time you’re tempted. The temptation comes up wherever it is, wherever you are, and instead of running to something completely different and that has really nothing to do with the situation or cannot satisfy at all, it’s turning to Jesus and pursuing a relationship with him instead.

What that does, young person, is that it actually makes every temptation from the devil counterintuitive. You’re turning it on its head. So he’s tempting you so that you can be enticed with and take something that’s going to gratify and build up your selfish desires and instead you’re turning straight to Jesus from the temptation and pursuing and building an abiding satisfying relationship with Him that is only going to make you stronger against the following temptation. So at the end of a day, whereas you know what it’s like to be bombarded with thoughts and temptations throughout a day, even if you don’t give in to it, at the end of the day you just feel beat up.

But instead, the more temptations you face in a day, the more opportunities you have to grow closer to Christ. And you can be at the end of the day, rejoicing in a new relationship with Jesus Christ that you had because the devil chose to tempt you so many times that day. It’s just an amazing principle, an amazing tool that I trust you will apply.

So as we look at application then from this podcast, I need to wrap this up. Number one, I want you to see there’s hope. I know you’ve tried so many different things in the past and what I’m presenting in this Satisfied podcast is not just another thing to try. I want you to have hope because this is a biblical method that is biblically sound and proven. It’s brought myself and so many other guys to victory that we never thought possible. There is absolutely hope for men and women who are caught up in a sexual addiction.

But what I want you to do is go before the Lord and I want you to declare war on your lust. Declare war on your selfishness. Declare war on a lifestyle that is focused on gratification. Something that will never ever satisfy. Get serious before God and ask him to reveal every area where that lifestyle is affecting you. Be willing to make decisions that are going to change that lifestyle because you’re declaring war. We’re taking this serious here. You are sick and tired of this addiction. You are done with it. You’ve tried so many different things in the past already to try and be rid of this addiction. But you need to trust that God’s going to give you here the answers that you need in Scripture. And you need to go to Him and declare war on it and commit to whatever He leads you to do. You are going to take the steps.

You’re going to do it beginning with the steps to mortify your flesh. Instead of turning to immediate gratification, seek a relationship with Jesus that will bring satisfaction. If you have questions, concerns, or insight regarding anything we’ve talked about today, please feel free to shoot me an email at satisfied@theegeneration.org. I’ll look forward to hearing from you, but otherwise, we’ll talk to you next month on “Satisfied.”